BWW Recap: KINKY BOOTS' Ellyn Marie Marsh Breaks Down BIG BROTHER Finale

If you follow Ellyn Marie Marsh (@ellynmarsh) on Twitter, there are a few things that you probably know about her. 1) She is an original and current memeber of the cast of Tony-winning musical KINKY BOOTS. 2) She is darn funny, AND she can belt like nobody's business (your evidence). 3) She loves her some BIG BROTHER!

Therefore, we thought it only appropriate that we ask Ellyn to join the BWW TV World family and recap last night's season finale of BIG BROTHER 16! Between watching during intermission of KINKY BOOTS (while wearing her mullet wig) and battling an uncoopoerative DVR, she gave us all of the insight and snark one would expect. Since Ellyn took the reigns from our normal BB recapper Joey O'Hern, he put together 16 Random Thoughts from the finale.

So, take it away Ellyn...

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Here I am at intermission of my show...in a mullet...living the dream? It's BIG BROTHER finale night otherwise known as, my Christmas. Has this been the longest season ever? I'm in a fall coat here people! BB is about SUMMER...why is it so long...?

So, I don't know many things. I don't know who won the Tony for best featured actress in a musical in 1992 (calm down nerds screaming at the screen right now) I fuuuur sure don't remember the theory of relativity ....BUT I do know BIG BROTHER. I've been watching BIG BROTHER since the beginning. I of course was 5 but that's beside the point. I kick it old school with the days if will Kirby and Bunkie. I remember when they were in the house during 9-11, when evil dick wreaked havoc on the house and when they had those identical twins twist-remember THAT? It's a guilty pleasure that I indulge myself with every summer. Every summer I tweet, discuss with likeminded folk and speculate on the house, how dumb they are and who is the clear front runner. My favorite this year was of course Donny. I had no false thoughts of him actually winning, but I was confident in his ability to charm America. I always have a soft spot in my heart for the inevitable "older" person in the house who may not know the lingo of "kids today" and unfortunately don't stand a chance against these whippersnappers in the physical challenges. So let it be said, I love you Donny.

Which brings me next to Derrick. Oh Derrick. The day you told America you were an undercover cop with that baby face and your sweet little baby girl at home, I was sold. I never call a winner from the beginning. Takes me about three weeks (though I called lane over Hayden). But I had Derricks number from week two. His mild manner, his ability to put ideas into peoples head and his unassuming nature makes for a BIG BROTHER mastermind.

I lovingly refer to this season as ragamuffin BIG BROTHER. Beast mode cowboy who nicknamed himself. Side note: You guys, you can't nickname yourself. "Hey, I'm Steve, call my Ace". No. The high fluting grounds keeper, that had everyone convinced he was FBI, CIA, an army mastermind...nope just a bearded dude who cuts plants and a Broadway chorus boy with and uber-famous sister...the characters were well cast.

Then there is Victoria. There's always a dumb one. Remember David from season 15? He was as dumb as a sack of hammers. Or Adam from bb13? The guys who loved bacon? Yeah I call him the worst (or best) floater in bb history, until Victoria. Who WAS she playing with? She takes a seat in the top ten worst players.

Ok! It's 9:27 and my intermission is almost over....dammit. OK...Act Two is chalk full of me in a mullet, and making confused faces...so I'm gonna have to be right back BroadwayWorld...don't go anywhere without me.

Wait! I have a minute! HERE WE GOOOO! Heeeeey Julie! She's introducing the "most TWISTED summer ever"? Really? I feel like me and CBS have different definitions of "twisted". The whole two HOH thing backfired cause the nominees were able to simply throw the battle of the block. Lame CBS. Lame. Better fine tune that for next year.

Hey Devin! Hey Amber? Remember these people? I love the recaps! Makes me nostalgic for the BIG BROTHER days of yore and yesteryear. These STUPID alliance names. Has there been a season with more alliance names? I can't recall. My unofficial list of the best allegiance in BB history:

Brigade
Donatos
Renegades
Jason and Danielle -(before alliances had names). First secret alliance and got to final 3 with NEVER being nominated
Quack pack
Honorable mention: Chilltown

Moving on...I guess the most hilarious part of BIG BROTHER this year has been the fact that Victoria thinks that in some way she has been playing. REALLY? You have literally been the quadriplegic injured goat that derrick has carried on his back...he all but ate food and spit it into your mouth. She has to be in on the joke, right?

"The $500,000 is right around the corner and I'm ready to win it". She's saying that with...IRONY. RIGHT? Like the time she said "Derrick is the Robin to my Batman". GURL! You were nominated NIIIINE TIM.ES ("nine times?"..."niiiiiiine tiiiimes") and the only time you won a SINGLE competition is when it was an accident. You are NOT now nor have you ever been, Batman. I feel like I need a blog to dedicate why Victoria the worst player in BIG BROTHER history. Here I go again, on a Victoria tangent...calm down Ellyn.

On we blindly stumble...Endurance comp. Obviously. Victoria down (cue my shocked face). Derrick down...So he faces off against Victoria, which is her "worst nightmare"-cause they have a "final two deal." NO YOU DON'T...you never did!!! Sheesh. It's like these people don't see what we see (Ha!)

Next HOH comp-climbing and putting things in order...Victoria should rule at this one. Derrick's time 15:29...Victoria's time? THIRTY MINUTES. Bhahahaha. Cody and Derrick will now FACE OFF in the final HOH. I'm still staying strong with my Derrick. Here's why. Cody's just not that smart. Thank you, deep I know.

OK. Jury deliberations!!! Heeey Will Kirby. Do you youngins know the one of the sneakiest players in BIG BROTHER history? He doesn't age, what the hell Dr. Will? In walks Caleb...hey Beast Mode. Frankie is actually making sense about his "actions/words" point...hmmmm. I think I just saw Caleb thinking for a moment.

Let's just put this in writing...55 nominations...and never nominated...is that a record? Can someone check that for me?

Cody wins final HOH! The winner of the final HoH has won the game in the last six seasons, and since the jury mentioned that Cody is better at competitions than Derrick...this makes me question the outcome...Wouldn't it be hilarious if he took Victoria? Here's the thing, that's his only chance of winning, but Cody seems like a solid guy and loyal to the Hitmen till the end. He votes to evict Victoria, yah cause she's useless but boo you just secured second.

Julie: "Some would say you floated to the end"

Victoria: "I played with my heart"

It's called BIG BROTHER sweetheart, not BIG HEART...onto the two most deserving final two, I've seen in many years! I'm still going with Derrick, but Cody is a deserved place number two.

My favorite thing! QUESTIONS FROM THE JURY!

-My question I made up from Christine to Cody "Do you like me, more than a friend"?

-Frankie is bitter Betty.

-"Manipulate" is a hard word Beast Mode. You got this.

-Good point with gaining the trust via his social game, Cody. Good answer!

Here's the thing. In past years there have always been a front runner winner. These guys are fairly evenly matched. Derrick has played a near perfect game, had Cody been sitting next to almost anyone else, he might be the winner. I'm still sticking with Derrick. Though he for sure wins for ugliest finale shirt. You know the world is watching right Derrick?

I love finale night. Have I mentioned that? I call the next section the dead men walking come back...those houseguests that made a big splash in the beginning but we've basically forgotten all about you. Paola? I literally don't remember you.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Team America reveal. America for sure picked the three best and they played full out! I love the faces of the people realizing they had been played (though similar things have been done before).

I swear when Derrick said "I'm a cop" I thought Cody was gonna say, "phew! I'm gay".

I've always thought the gap between first and second place was a bit harsh. $500,000 to $50,000...that hurts.

By a 7-2 vote DERRICK WINS! A well-deserved win. Perfect albeit boring game play.

Well BB16, this will go down as the summer with the LEAST amount of big moves and lack of game play. But I will hand it to them, there were no assholes or racists or highly unlikable people (sans Devin) and team America was pretty fun and the cast of characters never really disappoint. I of course will tune in next year as I do every year, bitching and moaning about how THIS is the worst season ever. But this kind of really was. Derrick definitely joins the likes of some of the best: Dan Gheesling, Janelle Pierzina, will Kirby, Danielle donato, Danielle Reyes, Mike Malin, Jun Song.

Please forgive all typos it's 2:30 am and I have rehearsal at 10! Love you all! See you next season!

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For more of Ellyn's humor and reality show reactions, follow her on Twitter @ellynmarsh and go see KINKY BOOTS on Broadway for heaven's sake! Get your tickets to see Ellyn in full British mullet here.

Photo Credit: Sonja Flemming | CBS

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