Review - Absinthe: Gang Green

I never thought of myself as especially gossipy. Surely there are at least two other Michaels in this burg who set the gold standard at reporting that sort of stuff. But when ace press agent Richard Kornberg, the man who convinced half the city that Ben Brantley loved In My Life, says, "Come here, Michael. You're gossipy," I pay attention. So after handing me tickets for Friday night's performance of Absinthe, Kornberg wanted to make sure I knew that Daniel Bedingfield would be in the audience that night.

That's right, kiddies, Daniel Bedingfield.

I had no idea who Daniel Bedingfield was.

So Richard figured it would help if I knew he was the brother of Natasha Bedingfield.

Ah.....

Didn't help.

See, I spend 3 or 4 nights a week going to the theatre and the other nights writing about it. To me, gossip is finding out that Norm Lewis and Cherry Jones were caught making out on the Wonder Wheel.

So I did some Googling and found out he's a pretty popular British pop singer. And I liked the snippets of music on his web site. Like they used to say on American Bandstand, it's got a good beat and you can dance to it. He's a little too old for Spring Awakening and a little too white for In The Heights, but maybe if he shaves the beard off he can come to town sometime and play Danny Zuko for awhile.

Hope you enjoyed Absinthe, Daniel. I sure did.

Yes, the frisky and funny mini-cavalcade of eye-popping athleticism has propped up its Speigeltent at the South Street Seaport for a third straight year, offering Gothamites another summer to admire their feats of strength, acrobatics and death-defying (or at least serious injury defying) acts performed with minimal clothing and maximum intimacy in the one-ringed, in the round venue.

Some familiar faces and some new ones populate this year's edition which is once again hosted by the foul-mouthed, multi-offensive and so damn funny sleaze ball known as The Gazillionaire (Voki Kalfayan), who takes the time to make sure every audience member feels belittled; from the "boring white people" in the center section to "the young sluts in the back." Audience participation for The Gazillionaire may include a 1970s porno flashback if any gentleman in the crowd happens to have a scalp full of thick bushy hair. (I'll spare you the details.) He's assisted by a scraggly moppet named Penny (Anais Thomassian), his adorably warped foil who delivers moderately well-timed rim shots and partakes in a hilariously grotesque little routine involving a gun and an apple.

The less dangerous acts include vocalist Kaye Tuckerman, an attractive power balladeer who at one point goes into the audience asking patrons to spank her as she sings "Nasty, Naughty Boy" (What gentleman would refuse?) and the talented burlesque diva Julie Atlas Muz, who manages to get her nearly nude and quite sparkly body entirely within an enormous bubble. She also has a very funny bit concerning a disembodied hand and the removal of her clothing.

Shirtless and impressively buff, Adil Rida muscles himself high in the air on long strips of nylon that he uses like gymnastic rings in quiet, almost meditative fashion as Tuckerman softly sings "Alleluia." The flexible Princess Anya, billed as the most beautiful woman in the world (straight guys - remember to tell your date that Anya's maybe the second most beautiful woman in the world), proves herself a mistress of muscle isolation and rhythmic gymnastics as she contorts her body while twirling hula hoops.

Sergey Petrov and Sergey Dubovyk, a/k/a The Duo Sergio, simmer an underlying eroticism as they balance themselves on each other while sporting no more than pairs of tighty-not-exactly-whities, while the Duo Ssens (Geneviève Landry and Maxime Clabaut) positively steam up the place with their sexually charged trapeze act.

Roller skaters The Willers (Jean-Pierre and Wanda Poissonnet) are the most gasp-inducing act, as he uses centrifugal force to fly her through the air while making tight circles around the tiny stage, but the most jaw-droppingly impressive moves of the night (and the most fully clothed, too) are executed by the Anastasinis Brothers. Giuliano, who doesn't look old enough to drink, lies on his back with his legs stretched upward while Fabio, who doesn't even look old enough to join China's Olympic Women's Gymnastics team, tumbles above his big brother, landing perfectly on the soles of his feet before getting propelled back in the air for more.

I don't know what Daniel Bedingfield thought, but damn, I was amazed.

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