Student Blog: 'What's Next for You?'

“What’s next for you?” This question and I have a love-hate relationship. To preface, I know that anyone who has ever asked this has the purest of intentions and is just genuinely curious. What I love about this question is that the person asking wants to be supportive and excited for you and your passion. What I hate about this question is that it adds another layer of pressure to an already stressful industry. It continues to place the performer’s worth on whether or not they are consistently working. If you have another show lined up, the question becomes an opening to talk about your next venture and success. When your schedule is wide open, the shame and embarrassment creeps in when you have to answer, “oh, I’m taking a break”. This brings me back to the tired topic (seriously, I bring this up in almost every article, so apologies in advance) of the stigma that an actor is only as talented as the amount of times they’re booked. Sometimes, it’s just not your time and the jobs just aren't right for you; the show should fit you, you shouldn’t have to try to fit in the show. And, say it with me: that’s okay. 

I know this is going to be hard to believe and you were all thinking, “wow, Brynna, what an interesting topic that you came up with and clearly have no experience with”, but I was recently asked this question by quite a few people. I know, shocker, right! As someone who has jumped from one show to another, rehearsal to rehearsal, sometimes two shows at a time, I’ve had it easy. Getting to answer with a smile and a flourish that they could see me in [insert show here]. Now, I’ve dealt with the short end of the stick, and believe me it isn't fun. For the first time in a year, I don’t have another show lined up. 

After we close The Pajama Game at the end of July, I don’t know when or if I’ll be back on stage.

I felt like that needed its own line, mostly because I had to take a break after writing that. If you asked me how I was feeling, I’d say that I’m fine and these projects just weren’t meant for me, but if I am being honest, I’d say that I’m having a really hard time and I’m scared. What if I’m experiencing my last time in a musical? I know that whatever is meant to be will be, but I pray that theater is what is meant for me. I’ve been incredibly blessed to do what I love and to be booked and busy. If this were my last show, I’d have no regrets. I’ve had some amazing experiences: I fell in love with new shows, met amazing people, played a dream role, and, most importantly, experienced growth. I am not the same performer or person I was a year ago. I am so proud of where I started and where I am. Shout out to Alice and Eric for helping me grow, you both are the sunlight to my sunflower! The biggest thanks to my mom: she gets to see the highs, but she is, also, one of the only ones to see the lows. I would not, mentally or emotionally, be able to do this without her!

And, I’d like to thank you: my readers. Whether this is the first article of mine you’ve read or if you have read them all, I appreciate you. This blog is one of my most favorite things and the fact that so many of you read it is so insane to me. This article has turned into a gratitude entry and I think that’s a beautiful finish in comparison to the start. There will always be a bright side: find it. Don’t forget to believe in yourself and your capabilities.

To paint the picture: my writing style is what I’d call informal and raw. I start with a topic and that is it. I put pen to paper and I just start writing. There is no overthinking, just a brain dump and lots of edits (thank you Blair, for catching my mistakes). When you read any given article, you are reading my thoughts and my creative process. Welcome to my mind. I hope you stick around because guess what? This is my first article of season 2! Y’all are stuck with me until September! 

Until next time,

Brynna

ig: @_br.ynn_

tt: @brynnaweir

"There's a Fine, Fine Line"