BWW Blog: Kathryn Mowat Murphy - People Are Hard Sometimes

People are hard sometimes:

My Mum told me to always be nice and to never to burn bridges. In this business, it can be a challenge. At some point in a career there will be times you undoubtedly will have trouble with somebody. We just can't get along with everyone. What we try to do is maintain a level of professionalism, but, oh lordy lordy, some divas make it hard.

My point in this week's blog is to give you young-ins some insight to mistakes I have made and borne witness to. Hopefully, these points will prevent you from doing the same. Let's start with a couple I have made. If you have ever met me, you will know I am a fiery, straight forward person and will tell you like it is. One of my life's philosophies is (and I stole this saying from a friend in the business), "if you're not afraid to do it, then I'm not afraid to say something."I can be honest to a fault and THAT, at times, has landed me smack in the middle of some strange predicaments.

This is a world of illusions, and to be successful in it you need to try and get along with everyone, even the ones you want push head first into a garbage can. For instance, if you are a dancer in a show, you must have the ability to take a note from a dance captain without an excuse or attitude. You may feel that the particular dance captain has no idea what he is doing, but that does not matter,

THEY ARE IN CHARGE!

Take the note and say nothing. I learned this after being a D/C. Every time I gave a note I could not believe the amount of excuses every cast member had. Finally, one younger dancer just said, "Ok no problem," and I literally dropped my notebook and hugged him .It was then I learned my lesson. I would think back to previous shows and realize, at times, I was the one making an excuse. Luckily, I had a very good friend and colleague who took me aside and said, "Nod and say thank you, even if you do have a legitimate excuse, and it really is someone else's fault." I asked him how the situation would be fixed if the problem was with another dancer. His answer: "Just do what you are told."

Nobody likes a complainer, or someone who runs to the stage manager or D/C every time some little incident happens. The best solution for any situation is minding your own business and doing what you are told, period. Some of you may disagree, and that's fine. This is what works for me. I had to swallow a hard pill many years ago when I spoke up for myself, and the consequences rippled out far more fiercely than I ever would have anticipated .It doesn't matter if I feel I was justified in my actions. My advice to you when you come up against someone who has influence over your job or next job: slap your hand over your mouth and shut it.

We have to deal with so many aspects of being a dancer performer. Whatever your particular specialty is, we have a mirror shoved in our faces every day. You begin to see yourself as others do, and, quite frankly, that is a good thing. Very quickly we become acquainted with ourselves. The challenge is to look and see who we really are and evaluate if changes need to be made. We have so many different relationships in the world of show business and we have to learn to appreciate each and every one of them, good or not so good. After almost 20 years in the business, I am learning this. My young ones try to learn it now. Appreciate those who have come before you, do not dismiss an older dancer in class, or as you pass by them in the hallways of rehearsal and auditions studios. Learn from them, as they probably have a truck load of Broadway shows behind them, and they may be sitting behind the table next time you walk into an audition. Be respectful to the people in your shows, as you have no idea down the road if they will be the ones to say yea or nay to you getting your next job. Trust me, this happens! Like life, we have to endure the many ups and downs of being around people exactly like ourselves, meaning ambitious, passionate, sensitive, etc. We have new relationships in every new show we are in, an, on the flip side, we have to deal with relationships ending, be it a partnership, marriage, working with a choreographer, or even having to move on from a teacher. These are all tough situations to deal with. It's how you deal with them that matters. Forgive them if it's needed and allow the relationship to end. Appreciate what you have learned and wish them well. Sometimes things just end. We are all playing parts in each other's movie, and when your dialogue is over, it's over. Use each breakup as an emotional tool to put in your kit and draw from when you are next performing. So many times in a heartbreaking situation I have cried my eyes out and begged the universe to stop my heart from hurting. In time it does, but a little bit of the pain remains, so it is at my beck and call the next time I need it.

The moral of this story is to have your eyes open and appreciate the moment. Next time you are in a class or audition, smile and say a kind word to that someone you might be intimidated by, just to be sure he or she is as intimidated by you. Be strong in your belief of yourself, even when you are terrified and know there are enough pieces of the pie for everyone.

We can all be out there and share our art.

Photo Credits: Thoughts: Steve Vaccariello; Me as Cassie: Photographer unknown

Me as Cassie

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