An Open Letter to Mr. Richard Maltby Jr.

[queenbee2]

Posted: 11/17/06 at 1:37pm

Spoilers included. Feel free to add on to my letter with any CONSTRUCTIVE ideas you may have.
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Dear Mr. Maltby (You never know? He might read it! lol):

As someone who believes the Pirate Queen has the potential to be a truly great musical, I can't tell you how excited I was to hear you and Ms. Daniele have joined the creative team. As of now, I think PQ is a show full of unrealized potential, and I assume you must feel the same way if you've signed on to "come aboard".

I've been bored and depressed with the state of Broadway musicals over the past few years, and was so excited to see an original, dramatic musical on it's way to NYC. So, since I am hoping Pirate Queen can be that show to revitalize the genre, I thought I'd throw out a few requests. Feel free to take them or leave them. I ask for no credit should you choose to use any of these ideas.

PLEASE help us care about Grace more. We need to fall in love with her right off the bat in order to invest in her 2 1/2 hour journey. I've heard rumors of a new song for her in the beginning of the show. Great idea. If we care about her as a person, I think we'll be more willing to emotionally invest in her life story.

Speaking of the beginning of the show, can you find a way to pump up the opening number. I am all for handsome/shirtless pirates singing and looking fantastic. But musically I don't think this number does the show justice. It's close, but doesn't blow us away the way I think we need it to. I want to be so excited about the journey to come after that opening, and it just doesn't happen yet.

PLEASE help out the characters and their relationships. For me, the most interesting part of the show was the POTENTIAL for truly dynamic scenes between Grace, Tiernan and Donal, but it is the least developed story line of the piece. I think we need to know more about all three of these people and understand where they're coming from. How long have Grace and Tiernan been in love? What is Tiernan's place on the ship? Why does Donal agree to marry Grace? Because the two male characters in Grace's life are so one dimensional from the top (and by no fault of the actors playing them!), we almost know what's going to happen. Tiernan is SO GOOD, and Donal is SO BAD. Why would we think for a moment that Grace and Donal will work out? Make us think for a second that Donal isn't so bad and Grace might actually be okay with him. Then when we learn later that he's a drunk and a womanizer, we FEEL for Grace's loss much more. And PLEASE, ask Mr. Schoenberg to write a song for Tiernan and Donal. Rather than just see them fight, I'd love to hear them passionately sing about their rightful place by Grace's side. It doesn't hurt that you have Hadley and Marcus who could sing it for us!

PLEASE address the style of the English Lords. Why when people become British must they become feminine all of the sudden? These are supposed to be dangerous people who are killing off an entire line of people. At the moment they are just characatures. Ask the men to play against the fact that they are wearing dresses, and make us (and the Irish) FEAR these men. At the moment they come off as a bunch of sissies and we wonder why the Irish don't just overtake them.

Can we still lower Queen Elizabeth's keys? I've heard rumors that they have been lowered some already, but still it is a lot of work to understand what she is saying/singing. And I am all for putting in some work as an audience member when I'm at the theater, but I've seen this show twice already and got maybe half of what was being said. I love the idea of this character and WANT to know what she's singing.

It's been discussed on this board that perhaps you could delay the killing of Donal at the Christening until later in the play. Great idea. If you can find a way to place the fight between Tiernan and Donal closer to the end of the piece, that storyline and the tension it creates will hold us through to the end of the play and make the final scenes much more powerful. As it stands, I felt the air fell out of the play completely after the Christening/killing scene, and kept waiting for something exciting to happen as a climax. It never did.

Can you make us CARE more about the Irish? We keep hearing about them being persecuted and pillaged, but we never see it. I think it would be very powerful if we could WATCH them get their land taken away and watch their women be abused etc. These are the people we are supposed to root for, and at the moment, we only HEAR about the bad things that are happening to them. Can we SEE a bit?

Can you make the reunion between Grace and Tiernan more exciting? At the moment, it seems a little easy. And how come Grace ages throughout the play but Tiernan doesn't? I'd love at the end of the play to see them both virtually destroyed, and when they see each other, both free to finally be together, it should overwhelm them and us as an audience.

Overall, I want to weep when I see the Pirate Queen. Right now it is an interesting piece with worlds of potential. Can you help it realize that potential? Please. As a fan of Broadway, I really would love to see this show be great. Not just alright. Believe me, I'm happy to go lust after handsome pirates, but I'd love for this show to be a moving theatrical experience. I think it's in there. Can you and Ms. Daniele please help?

Much appreciated-

QB

[CurtainPullDowner]

Posted: 11/17/06 at 1:46pm

Lot's of good points Queenie.

How do you re-write the book of a show that has no book to begin with?

I don't mean a "bad" book, just that it is sung thru, so Maltby will be doing exactly what?

Shaping the story?
Adding Dialogue?

[shesamarshmallow]

Posted: 11/17/06 at 1:48pm

Just because it's sung through doesn't mean it has no book.

[TechEverlasting]

Posted: 11/17/06 at 2:12pm

Great letter Queenbee2.

I'm hoping that the show gets more of an overhaul than you seem to be implying. In other words, rather than have Queen Elizabeth singing in lower keys or changing the dynamic of the Donal/Tiernan relationship, I would like to see the story take on more of the shape of the source novel. This might not be realistic given the time frame they're working with, and I suppose the story treatment they now have must in some way reflect the producer's wishes.

Let's have some damn PIRACY, please!

Let's have Grania be the tough passionate woman she is in the book, right from the beginning. Show us men pining for her, and also fearing her. (For tips on creating strong female characters, watch a few episodes of the new "Battlestar Galactica.") Flashbacks of Grania as a girl, perhaps overlayed with flashbacks of Elizabeth as a child might help us understand and care more about these characters.

Throw out the opening number, (please!!!) and start the show by letting us see why Grania was a force for the British to reckon with. You can still have a few shirtless pirates running around, perhaps even engaging in pirate-like activities.

I couldn't agree more about the English Lords. Sell their gowns on ebay and instead show us something about what the British were really doing in Ireland.

Grace O'Malley did not settle the Irish/English conflict by chatting with Queen Elizabeth for an hour or two. What she did do was use her power and leverage to make the best of a bad situation for herself and her clan. I see her as being similar to the Engineer in Miss Saigon. If you give Grania an eleven o'clock number with the power and wit of "The American Dream" instead of that musical sleeping pill "On The Sea of Life" you might really have something.

I've got my fingers crossed, and truly look forward to seeing PQ version 2.

Updated On: 11/17/06 at 02:12 PM

[CurtainPullDowner]

Posted: 11/17/06 at 2:36pm

Is Tiernan fictional Tech?

[queenbee2]

Posted: 11/17/06 at 3:35pm

CurtainPullDowner- I believe that Tiernan is a combination of different men from Grace's life, so yes, he is fictional. And even in a sung through show like PQ, there certainly is a book. It is the story and how it develops through song. I think this story is precisely what they are bringing in Maltby to hone in on and focus. Hopefully.

Tech- I couldn't agree with you more about more piracy. I know this isn't Pirates of the Carribean, but we could use a little booty stealing and pillaging. Also, as we both agree they need to rework the opening number, I would love to see some dancing in the opening. Maybe Graciela can help with this. But there are such strong, strapping men on that stage, them them dance! They show that they are more than capable with the wedding and Christening. I think that opening number could be a much more powerful song with very strong/masculine dancing. It starts out great with the oar pounding. I wish they would build on that and show us life aboard the ship, through some sort of stylized dance. I've also said before, I would love to see more dancing in Boys Will Be Boys. That song is a great chance for another production number, and for some reason it never reaches the level it should/could. The Irish dancers do a little dance break in the middle, but let it grow! The audience would eat it up, and it would give the show a much needed energy boost.

-QB

[TechEverlasting]

Posted: 11/17/06 at 3:43pm

>Is Tiernan fictional Tech?

I don't know. My only insight into the story of Grace O'Malley comes from reading the novel "Grania, She King of the Irish Seas", which is what "The Pirate Queen" was supposedly based on. This book is considered to be a work of historical fiction. I hope to read more about the actual history of O'Malley in the future.

In the novel there's a character named Tigernan (there is no "Tiernan".) He serves in Grania's crews, and watches jealously for years as she goes through various affairs and marriages. He finally works up some courage and reveals his feelings, and they end up together.

In the novel Donal isn't a drunken womanizer, but is obsessed with warfare and fighting other clans. Grania thinks him a fool, but later realizes that there is a need to be a warrior at times.

I hope someone gave Richard Maltby Jr. a copy.

[SorryGrateful]

Posted: 11/17/06 at 3:43pm

I think your letter is wonderful, queenbee. I wholeheartedly agree with everything you say.

Tech, you know where I stand with you.

[B3TA07]

Posted: 11/17/06 at 5:26pm

I agree with everything said here, and although it's already been pointed out that a sung-through show still has a book, I just wanted to reiterate that these guys won a Tony award for Best Book in a musical with Les Misérables.


Tech, do you think "Sea of Life" itself is boring or its placement is boring? I looked at the song list and it is the fourth in a line of slow, ballad-like songs. The music and psuedo-poetic lyrics might be servicable somewhere else (I could see it being used in the finale, and just fading out like "The Land of the Fathers" in Martin Guerre, but that also might be a weak ending now that I ponder it), in my opinion.

[TechEverlasting]

Posted: 11/17/06 at 5:40pm

>Tech, do you think "Sea of Life" itself is boring or its placement is boring?

Here's an image for you: It's the mid 1960s, and you're at a posh department store somewhere near Paris shopping for socks. In the background there's soft ambient music playing. That's what "Sea of Life", "My Grace" and "Woman to Woman" sound like to me. 1960s EuroMuzak. Of those three songs "Sea of Life" is the strongest. Your point about it being fourth in a line of slow songs is a good one. "Sea of Life" is obviously supposed to be an 11:00 number. If there weren't so many other ballads I suppose it would work somewhere in the show. Stephanie Block sure sounds wonderful singing it. The problem isn't just that one song. The show needs an energetic moving number at this point, but the way the story is currently constructed there isn't even anything to get energetic about.

This is one reason I'm delighted to see some new faces on the creative team.

[bella cantato]

Posted: 11/17/06 at 10:05pm

Queenbee- please add something about the ending. I'm all for happy endings- really I am- but I think this show needs to end as a tragedy... or at least, somewhat of a tragedy. It's way too superficial and cartoony at the moment (and unfortunately, too much of a Wicked ending.) If you look into Grace's life, you'll see that she really didn't have so happy of an ending... maybe somehow, they could make it more true to life.

[TechEverlasting]

Posted: 11/17/06 at 11:50pm

As long as we're going to the trouble of writing Mr. Maltby, we should tell him the things we DON'T want him to change or cut from "The Pirate Queen."

I love Donal's "Let a Father Stand By His Son". The transition from the joyous dance of the Christening to Donal's betrayal and the invading British is just great theater. Keep all that.

I love Evleen's vocal solos, and hope her character can be fleshed out as a spiritual advisor and confidant of Grania.

Even though I find the opening number to be grating and repetitive, I do like the whole bit with the oars pounding the stage. What a huge sound! Someone should write a nice song to go with that.

I'm sure no one is thinking of cutting "I'll Be There". Just the same, I thought I'd remind you to be sure to keep that one.

[CurtainPullDowner]

Posted: 11/17/06 at 11:59pm

I know full well that a sung-thru show has a plot and someone who guides it.
And that was my question, I have never worked from scratch on a show like this.
Is there really a second "book" other than the lyrics that is actually written out?

I agree about Evleen, (the terific Aine Ui Cheallaigh), I feel she should perhaps be Gracie's "right hand Woman" and Nanny to her son, (replacing that role)

[ChicagoAmy]

Posted: 11/18/06 at 1:22pm

> I'm sure no one is thinking of cutting "I'll Be There". Just the same, I thought I'd remind you to be sure to keep that one.

I asked Hadley about that last night, both "I'll Be There" and my other favorite "Here On this Night", and he said he's pretty sure those are safe. I don't think he could really say much, but I got the impression they will be making significant changes. I happened to sit by the boyfriend of a cast member, and he said that they're going to be adding in more fighting and more Irish dancing but that's all he knew.

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 11/18/06 at 3:07pm

They need a male lead who can dash, or women will vote with their feet.

Eh, woman pirate, great, feminist, fine. Where's the dashing male swinging from the ship's ropes?

[BroadwayBaby6]

Posted: 11/18/06 at 6:47pm

The key to fixing this show is replacing the recitatives with spoken dialogues.

[Zachary Goldfarb]

Posted: 11/18/06 at 11:05pm

oh wow. really though?

[rockfenris2005]

Posted: 11/20/06 at 6:45am

I'm actually worried that he IS involved. Have you SEEN the lyrics for MISS SAIGON?? Yeeeesh

Posted: 11/20/06 at 10:25am

I just want more upbeat songs.

[bardolator]

Posted: 12/13/06 at 6:06pm

Tech--I actually love "The Sea of Life," but think the placement (or, if not its position in the show, then its position between the numbers it's currently between) is a problem. She's going off to try to save Tiernan and the future of her people--maybe something more like what she sings in "Trouble At Rockfleet"?

I posted elsewhere that I think "The Sea of Life" could be "foreshadowed," if you will, in an earlier scene that is one of the main ones I hope they fix:

(Re: the "Postpartum Fighting" scene) "I think it would be better if they showed a little time passing...perhaps have the stage dark, with just stars overhead, and Grania holding Owen and humming/singing to him, with the pirates kind of standing around talking quietly and humming in harmony or something. This might be a good place to introduce just a snippet of "The Sea of Life." It would lull the audience into thinking the excitement is over, give Steph the opportunity to develop Grania as a mother a wee bit, and give another chance for us to see Donal the cad chasing another skirt (by the way--there's no explanation for why there are other women on board in this scene; I really think they might need to change that). Maybe have the music trail off into silence, as Grania falls asleep.

Then...the English attack! Don't know whether it would be more effective to have Grania wake immediately or have her slumber on in exhaustion until the men start crying out for her. Send Eric (I think?) in to wake her up, and she gets angry and fearful all at once, she hides the baby (or gives him to Eric), and someone helps her on deck. She shoots someone and the recoil almost knocks her down, but her men cheer and fight on, encouraged. They could have one of the men support her around the waist as she slashes wildly with her sword, but I think the idea is to have her presence on the stage turn the tide."