Michael Dale's Martini Talk: A Bronx Tale

I wasn't expecting to see one of those little white slips of paper in my Playbill for Chazz Palminteri's autobiographical solo play A Bronx Tale.  Turns out it was just a list of music credits, not a notice that Tony Danza or Mandy Patinkin would be filling in for the star that night. The play itself?  Okay, look... I'm not going to suggest it's the kind of show that adds luster to this or any other Broadway season, but hey, I liked it. Written with more sincerity than craft and acted with more authenticity than skill, Palminteri's ninety minute monologue, a remembrance of his boyhood in the Italian neighborhood at 187th Street and Belmont, was inspired by the words of his father, "The saddest thing in the world is wasted talent."  The play workshoped in Los Angeles before a 1989 Off-Broadway run led to a movie adaptation.

The evening begins with a pre-show warning that anyone who lets their cell phone go off will be beaten over the head with a baseball bat (A phone did go off the night I was there but I didn't see anyone taking swings at the offender. Empty threats.) and within minutes we're being introduced to characters with names like Eddie Mush; Frankie Coffee Cake and Jojo the Whale.  It's 1960 and 9-year-old Calogero (later to be known as Chazz), while innocently sitting on his stoop, just happens to witness a violent murder committed by the neighborhood mob boss, Sonny.  Not wanting to be known as a rat, the frightened boy lies to the police when asked to identify the killer and the grateful Sonny takes the kid under his wing, introducing him to the fast life, teaching him how to shoot craps and tipping him with c-notes while his honest, hard-working dad sweats it out driving a cross-town bus every day.  It's the conflicting lessons the boy learns during the next several years from the two most influential men in his life that beats the heart of A Bronx Tale.

Jerry Zaks directs the likable actor, who has one of those foggy voices that seems to be coming at you from the other end of a dark alley.  But though he plays 18 characters in the piece, there's little noticeable difference between most of them.  And though the story is told with nostalgic humor and warmth, there is little that's especially theatrical about its presentation.  When you consider that the top ticket price for this pleasant piece is nearly $100 A Bronx Tale is the kind of entertainment that might best be enjoyed from across a dinner table at a family gathering than on a Broadway stage.

Halloween falls on a Wednesday this year, so if you plan on doing any trick or treating between matinee and evening performances be sure to knock on the stage door of the August Wilson Theatre, where doorman Christine Ehren (she prefers to be called a "doorman" but she's always a woman to me) will be giving out goodies to costumed celebrants between the hours of 5:30PM and 7PM.  Fans of Good Vibrations, Sweeney Todd and Spring Awakening surely know the sassy Christine as the former O'Neill doorman who would entertain post-show autograph seekers as they waited for their favorite stars to exit.  (Who can forget her cries of, "I love you, Usher!" to the pop star as he would exit the Ambassador stage door across the street during his stint in Chicago.)  Though anyone wearing a costume is welcome to trick or treat at her new digs among the Jersey Boys, she warns, "If the costume is "groupie" or"persongoing to the theatre that night" that doesn't count."

Did you know that the New York building that collapsed over the weekend was the very place where Ragtime's Evelyn Nesbit carried on her affairs with soon-to-be-murdered architect Stanford White? White had designed the love nest, which was enhanced with strategically placed mirrors and that famous red velvet swing.  Thankfully, nobody was hurt during the collapse, but I'm sure if some knowing musical theatre lovers were around they would have greeted the event with a final, "Wheeeeee!"

Photo of Chazz Palminteri in A Bronx Tale by Joan Marcus.