PANTO SEASON: BEHIND THE SCENES: The Script

Cubbington Players began writing their own pantomimes by accident. Back in the 1970s it was a running joke that the pantomimes that they were paying to perform were so awful, they should write their own. In 1978, a new member of the group (who hadn't even appeared in that year's show) overheard the annual conversation and, not realising that this was something of a tradition, promptly wrote an outline for an entirely new script. This year therefore marks the thirtieth anniversary of the group writing their own shows.

Writing your own script gives a group a certain amount of freedom. They can depart from the original story as much or as little as they like. They can tailor the parts to the needs of the group. And they can throw in some in-jokes that are specific to the region. For example, Cubbington Players' scripts always contain references to the neighbouring village of Lillington, to Leamington's arts centre, the Spa Centre, and (usually) to Cubbington School lumpy custard.

That first pantomime was Beauty and the Beast. Uniquely, it is the only show they have ever written which contained an original song. It is probably the only pantomime ever written - successfully, I hasten to add - around a single joke: At the time, the Co-op had an advertising jingle which ran: "Your caring sharing Co-op, your caring sharing Co-op, it's yours, all yours, all yours."

In the hands of Cubbington Players, this became a line for a telly-addict girl named Karen Sharon Coop - whose mother ran a village store.

This show took a fair number of liberties with the original plot and indeed with the history of nursery rhyme. Not only did it feature the old woman who lived in a shoe (named Nelly Boot), but also her children - Georgie Porgie, Mary Mary, Wee Willie Winkie and little Bo Peep. You won't find that line-up in any book of fairy tales.

However, this was nothing compared to the 1980 production, when The Players took on Robinson Crusoe. That the show was subtitled 'De Friend Am Worse Dan Defoe' ought to have given away that it wasn't exactly a traditional show. Faced with the best part of three dozen members who wanted a part, the group went to town on a story which, in reality, has only two main parts - both of which are male.

Turning Friday into the heroine is nothing new, that happens in just about every panto version of the story. Not every group would think of creating an entire village of island-dwellers, every one of whom had a name ending in '-day' - from the dame (Widow Washday) to the villain (Dr Doomsday), from the midwife (Labourday) to the permanently gloomy Rainyday.

As if this wasn't enough, the script then throws in a missionary named Rev. Elation, a computerised camel named Humphrey (incredibly, this role was toned down, having originally been a Scandinavian computerised camel named Lars Traw!), a one winged fairy (Fairy Nuff) and two inept soldiers with the wonderful names of Major Jump and Corporal Punishment.

Finally - because this cast obviously wasn't big enough or chaotic enough - the script then throws in Rainday's Auntie Elspeth (a part written specifically for one group member who only ever appeared in pantomimes) and possibly the best character ever invented by The Players, Mildred, a member who doesn't want to perform Robinson Crusoe at all and so crops up throughout the script as characters from other pantomimes.

The next year's script continues the same tradition, with Sleeping Beauty suddenly acquiring a robot named T42, a mad inventor called Professor Angus Pike, Toady the Troll and the best baddie of all, a gasman who spends the entire show trying to find a reason to shut the gas off an plunge the characters into darkness.

All of which is why, as we follow Cubbington Players through the remaining three months of preparation for the 2010 show, you won't find many references to the bulk of the characters. All I can say is that, in accordance with tradition, there will be much that is familiar, but an awful lot that is unique and clearly the product of some very creative imaginations. I, for one, am not going to spoil the surprise.