Review: DIE HEART at Troubadour Theater Co. At The Colony Theatre

Spotted at the Colony Theatre: a patron wearing a face mask emblazoned with the words "My Favorite Christmas Movie is Die Hard."

That's some quality taste, there. And to those with time enough on their hands to debate whether the 1988 action thriller and franchise launcher DIE HARD belongs on the same shelf with IT'S A WONDERFUL Life, MIRACLE ON 34th STREET and all those treacly snowy-set Hallmark rom-coms, the answer is a hard yes, a harder yes and a yes with a vengeance.

The Troubadour Theater Company certainly gets this, hence the ensemble's spirited decision to trot out DIE HEART as its annual holiday production. Serving up a stage adaptation of DIE HARD featuring the music of Heart, the Troubies have once again given L.A. theatergoers a plum of a yuletide gift to unwrap and savor. And don't we know it! Fans of the Troubies, who are now in their 20th year of producing holiday shows, apparently crashed the online ticket-purchasing system when DIE HEART was announced. Yeah, this company's fan base is as substantial as it is hungry for this brand of zaniness, and one of these days, some producer out there (here's looking at you Geffen Playhouse) is going to think about those dollar signs, plug the Troubies for a month-long run into a venue larger than the Colony or the Garry Marshall Theatre and make everyone happy.

DIE HARD is a picture-perfect property for skewering...an action blockbuster known and beloved by many, yet also very much of its era (huegly 80s!) and therefore ripe for parody. Director/performer Matt Walker and his 11 co-authors and performers take sincere delight pointing out - or sending up - the 80s imprint. Add in the big hair and gonad-hugging clothing favored by Heart during its heyday and you figure costume designer Julian Amaro and wig designer Suzanne Jolie Narbonne must have been salivating to get this show on its feet. Damned near every terrorist or party-goer is stuffed into black spandex, most notably ringleader Hans Gruber (Rick Batalla) who is so confined by his trousers, he can barely sit down on one of those teeny chairs.

The fact that the psycho terrorist Karl was played in the film by ballet dancer Alexander Godunov means that the Troubie's Phillip McNiven is given full license to prance and preen his way through all of Karl's nefarious behavior, his bulging leotarded crotch lending an exclamation point.

We're all supposed to be attendees, 30 floors up, in a downtown L.A. skyscraper at the Nakatomi Company's Christmas party when the building is stormed by Gruber and his band of Euro-terrorists who take a roomful of hostages while committing a high-stakes robbery. While the police and FBI bumble around trying to contain the situation and the grandstaning TV news media make things infinitely worse, the only person capable of helping out is John McClane, an off-duty NYPD cop who has come to L.A. to try to reconcile with his wife, Holly (Chelle Denton), a Nakatomi executive and one of the hostages at the party. McCLane may be trapped in the building, but he's got a weapon and a boatload of street smarts. Plus, he's fighting to bring his wife home safely. Fans of the film may recall a ton of automatic weapons. Well, the Troubies don't hold back, and they pepper each other and cover the Colony stage in...Nerf gun bullets.

Wearing a padded muscle shirt and cartoonish oversized feet with a tendency to malfunction, Walker snaps off McCLane's world-weary one-liners (directly from the script) with his deft blend of gravitas and lampoonery. Given his cocksure action persona in the DIE HARD films and others, Bruce Willis is probably a pretty easy guy to spoof for a shrewd clown like Walker. Still, the performance is more than enough to make someone want to return to DIE HARD and watch Bruce Willis at, arguably, the top of his game. Amidst all the Troubie zings, puns and potshots at everyone and anyone associated with the original property, nobody made an aphasia joke on opening night. Still, the run is young and in Troubie-land, cows tend not to be sacred. Snatches of video from the film (edited by Rick Batalla and Ben Rapoport) help enhance the story.

With his slow burns, weird unplaceable European drawl and neogtiation of the aforementioned spandex, Batalla is a hilarious Hans Gruber, deftly walking off with every scene he touches. After fronting a "let me introduce myself" number (to the strains of Heart's "Barracuda"), Batalla quivers anxiously for a reprise whenever anybody asks him "Who are you, anyway?" McNiven's menacing Karl is the iopposite of graceful, and he's plenty funny.

Infusing some female energy into this macho tale, Cloie Taylor taps into the film's homoerotic subtext as Al Powell, McClane's radio sidekick and the one member of the LAPD who isn't a moron. Denton's big-haired Holly is suitably feisty or hot for her husband as the scene dictates.

Music Director Ryan Whyman, and Music Supervisor Eric Heinly pair with Blake Estrada and Nikki Stevens to make up the on-stage DIE HEART band, rocking its way through an assortment of Heart hits.

DIE HEART also has a few surprises up its ruffled sleeve, including Hans's deployment of a "secret weapon" that practically brought the house down on opening night. Discover for yourself what that secret weapon might be.

Above all, go! A year without a Troubadour Theatre Co holiday show is like a year without a Santa Claus.

DIE HEART plays through Dec. 18 at the Colony Theatre, 555 North Third St.,
Burbank.

Photo of Matt Walker and Rick Batalla by Douglas Leadwell

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