BWW Recap: NEW GIRL, A Single Tent in a Vast, Dark Forest

After witnessing some classic guy sexism at the bar, Jess professes that she never dates anyone based on their looks. Seconds later she meets, Matt, an incredibly handsome stranger who immediately asks Jess out. Swooning, she quickly accepts as she describes how she's sick of her guy friends judging people based on their looks. Taking his cue, Matt confesses that he is happy she is not one of those people because he has a "small" medical condition: a micropenis!

After the guys research it on the internet as being an actual thing, they feel sympathy for Matt but don't believe That Jess will still date him. Nick, in fact, bets her that she won't date him for a week. Jess ups the ante to a month. If Jess wins, Nick has to donate $500 to the National Organization for Women's "Love Your Body" Campaign. If Nick wins, Jess has to pay a year's worth of internet porn of their choice. Their choice? Ass Chat. Yes... it's what you think.

Winston and Cece, fed up with overhearing Coach and Schmidt compliment each other on their good looks, decide to convince the two that they could be models. This leads to an amazing, fake photo session with Winston as the photographer and Damon Wayans Jr. and Max Greenfield at their physical comedy best. Coach ultimately figures out what they're up to and since Schmidt is emotionally invested, blackmails Cece and Winston into making Schmidt an actual model. They do so by paying for a billboard of Schmidt in Koreatown.

Jess starts dating Matt and realizes that his micropenis issue is the least of his problems. Turns out he's a giant D-bag. He's a street artist, he refers to Scotch on the Rocks as "Sco-Ro's" and, oh right, he has a girlfriend. Jess tries to pull out of the bet but Nick refuses and she pays for his porn.

Not an overwhelming episode, but nearly worth it for Coach and Winston's photoshoot. This season started off with such a bang and it has fallen mediocre ever since. The guest stars are knocking it out of the park though and this week was no exception. Alan Ritchson can add his name to the list including Kaitlin Olson, Rob Reiner and Jessica Biel who have all been stellar in their appearances this season. It's still early so I'm hoping the season can regain the momentum they began in the premiere. Now that they have such a solid chemistry together, I think this group can pull off some real classic episodes. Here's hoping that happens soon.

MVP - Guest Star, Alan Ritchson as the douchiest guy with the smallest penis.

Runner Up - Coach, for outplaying Cece and Winston's play.

Favorite Lines:

• Coach - It's like the Letter "I" floating around in a bowl of alphabet soup.

• Schmidt - If I could give that poor man some of my penis, I would. But obviously, you don't pull a bumper off a Ferrari.

• Winston - I just put $5 in the juke box. We got a Paula Cole rock block coming our way.

• Schmidt - When I look at you, I see a stunning physical specimen. It's like you were created in a lab full of gay scientists.

• Jess - Tell me more about this internet porn, is there anything I would like? Like something with a story? Nothing about Victorian England or anything like that?

I will give props to a product placement moment finally worth mentioning:

http://now.org/now-foundation/love-your-body/

What were your thoughts? Am I expecting too much or are you underwhelmed too? Tweet me @eponineq and remember to follow @BWWTVWorld for all the latest updates, scoops and recaps.

Photo Credit - FOX