Worst Broadway Audience Ever?- Page 4

[Midoria]

Posted: 8/1/07 at 6:34pm

I am dreading seeing Mary Poppins and having a ton of kids and their parents talking and eating loudly, cause I do want to see that show.

You know, surprisingly enough there was almost no extreneous noise from the audience when I went during Christmas. The audience didn't bug me at all until they tried to leave during the encore.

And oddly enough, I've had way more adults ruin shows (or parts of them) than children.

[turquoisefish]

Posted: 8/1/07 at 8:10pm

I will start by saying none of my experiences at the theatre are as bad as an average trip to the cinema. (I am in the UK btw)

When I saw the tour of Joesph and the amazing technicolor Dreamcoat in Portsmouth a girl of about 2 poked me in the back of the neck the whole way through. I kept glaring and just got moaned at by her mother (that she was just a child or something). I would have moved but I was in a good seat.

When I saw Mary Poppins there were the kids talking (which I expected) but what I didn't think about is that means families who don't usually go to the theatre. The father of the family kept checking his phone (all lit up), one mother left a couple of times with both her kids, they were in the back row of the front block so she lifted them in and out of their seats from behind, getting in everyones way. Also it seemed like the whole audience was moving the whole time, creaking seats etc. Quite offputting.

When I saw The Woman in White with my friend the French people behind managed to pour coke all over my friend, They didn't say sorry or anything.

And most recently on Monday the family near me at The Drowsy Chaperone (probably the last time I will see it as it is closing Saturday, and I won't get to Broadway any time soon) talked most of the way through it. The kids obviously knew a bit about the show, they knew who the understudy was on for etc....

Finally a bit of a different one, the staff at the Apollo Victoria for Wicked seem to be a bit OTT. I hate cameras flashing before the show starts, but the ushers will yell across the theatre to stop it. One time a lady a couple of rows in front of me was using her camera, or filming and the usher literally ran to her and took the camera (like the time taken to walk quietly would have made a difference). Very disturbing. They also walk around too much and stand in the way.

Updated On: 8/2/07 at 08:10 PM

[bdwayjunkie]

Posted: 8/1/07 at 9:52pm

I went to see hairspray last wednesday and my friends sat in front of these stuck up obnoxious girls who were hitting on our councelor during the show and were calling us nasty things. They also were SCREAMING so loud after every number. I hate people who cant act politely at the theater.

A few years ago i want to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and this kid kept on making ridiculously loud noises so he got kicked out

[overthemoon419]

Posted: 8/1/07 at 11:35pm

We're talking overall audience, not just specific people?

Easy: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Nine billion talking kids, garbage all over the floors, and constant chewing noises -- it sounded like we were at a movie theatre. The best part? The little boy sitting behind me who, for half of the first act, was pleading with his father to take him to the bathroom, and the father just flat-out refused.

[MillieDillmount]

Posted: 8/1/07 at 11:55pm

Oh yea, after we were walking out of the ACL theatre when it was over there was trash ALL over the place! I was shocked! I mean I can see at a movie theatre, but a Broadway theatre? No. That made me mad. And if you have ever been to that theatre (don't remember which one) it's beautiful inside! The seats and carpet was a beautiful red, and people just leave their candy wrappers and soda cups on the floor. Man, doesn't anyone RESPECT the theatres anymore? To me that also means you are disrespecting the show and actors. I'm sure that happens all the time, but it just shouldn't.

Sometimes people just piss me off. It's a BROADWAY show!! Be honored and excited to get to see it. And most importantly RESPECT EVERYONES HARD WORK!! Grrr!

~Darci

[JustChillin8908]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 12:12am

I recently saw the High School Musical tour here in Detroit (with my 5 year old niece) and everyone seemed to be loud. However the girl behind us (around 5 also) was singing to most of the songs and was constantly saying things to her dad. While the girl was talking fairly soft the dad was responding at a normal volume which got really annoying.

Best part of the show: When my 5 year old niece turned around and told the girl she wasn't supposed to be singing during the show.

The show itself, while better than the movie, wasn't anything special.

[ByTheSea920]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 12:50am

Not at a Broadway show, but once at a local show, a 13 year old boy saw that there were no more seats left in that row. However, his obnoxious friend was sitting beside me, and this boy refused to sit anywhere else. So instead of politely asking me to move to the row in front, which had plenty of empty seats in it, what does this prepubescent child do? He sat down IN MY LAP.
I was like "What the hell are you doing? Get off of me!!" My sister was there too, and was just shocked. I literally had to push him off and tell him to find another seat, but he wouldn't listen. Instead, he just tried to shove me out of bed.

Then once at another show, two women with respiratory problems decided to sit next to me, and proceeded to wheeze, gasp, and have coughing fits through the entire performance. I could not even hear half of the play, because the woman sitting closest to me was literally choking and gagging right in my ear. They also talked incredibly loudly about the most ridiculous things!! In incredibly loud southern accent voices, they began an in-depth conversation about the one woman's motor home, and the other woman's 4th husband and pregnant 15 year old daughter, in the middle of the show!!!! I had to tell them to quiet down about 6 times.
Updated On: 8/2/07 at 12:50 AM

[kasim]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 9:17am

This wasn't intentionally bad but still sucked for me.

I got front row student rush tickets to Nixon/Frost and sat by this VERY VERY large guy. So basically had no space to sit. Which wasnt soo bad. But he was breathing soooo hard that i swear sometimes i could barely hear the actors.

[MusicSnob22]

Posted: 8/3/07 at 1:18am

I don't think it's possible to top the story about the dead cat or being thrown up on, but here is my anecdote...

Back in the summer of 2000, I was in London seeing Starlight Express (thankfully, that was not the reason for being in London). The show was so ridiculously awful that literally the only thing I remember is the people behind us having a full-fledged conversation out loud during the second act and that no one cared. It was more entertaining to listen to ANYTHING besides what was happening onstage. Sometimes those audience interruptions can be a blessing.

Besides that, it seems that every show I see on Broadway there is that one person who has a bag that they decide that they need to rustle around in for a while like they are making a sandwich or something.

[istillbelieve24601]

Posted: 8/3/07 at 11:41am

Ahh... more stories...

When I went to see The Wedding Singer, we located the aisle which our seats were in fairly quickly (we had gotten 2nd row orchestra tickets off the TKTS board the second week of the show's run). I was dismayed to see that I was sitting next to a rather overweight older woman.However, I looked at my ticket a few seconds after I sat down and I realized I was in the wrong seat. As I moved to a seat at the other end of the row, I distinctly heard the obese woman say: "It's a shame that girl's not sitting next to us. She's so small, it's nice to have some room to strech out."

[Elphabatize]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 3:41pm

I went to see Mary Poppins on Broadway last night. The ticket I was one of those "obstructed view" tickets and I was sitting behind a pole. Not a big one or anything, just a regular pole and it was in my face so I kept looking over at the seats on the ends and no one was sitting there so I moved during intermission. Some 12-13 year old girls had the same idea and they sat down in the row in front of me. Well there were some empty seats in front of them so they kept moving during the 2nd act. They were climbing over the seats. I wanted to bitch slap them.

[localonedude]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 4:26pm

Kevin Kline broke character during Ivanov at the Vivian Beaumont because of a cell phone. Said " We will wait till your done with your call"

[mc1227]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 4:40pm

I feel that almost every audience of every show is the worst one. It seems to be getting worse. My biggest pet peeve is when people get up and leave during the curtain call to try and beat the crowd. I feel it is a slap in the face to every performer on that stage, whether or not you liked the show. They have just spent 2 hours + trying to entertain you and the least a person can do is wait 2 minutes before leaving.

[defyingravity11]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 4:48pm

I got SR for Cyrano last Friday and there was a group of six two rows in front of me that kept getting up and sitting down every 15 min. or so throughout the whole show. Then I sat in the last row during the second act and the guy next to me answered his phone during the play!!!

[DRSisLove]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 6:18pm

At DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS with Jonathan Pryce as Lawrence at the Wednesday matinee over February break, about 10 cell phones rang. Finally Pryce turned to the audience and said "OH! It must be my agent! ...and if its not, then its not important."

[jordangirl]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 6:53pm

I think the absolute worst I've experienced was during In Darfur. At this really intense point in the play, a phone went off. At first we weren't sure if it was part of the play because it really could have fit in there. But they went on, so it obviously wasn't. Five seconds after it stopped ringing, it started again. The same phone. And again. Then another ring ~ our guess, since there was some delay between the last ring and the different one is that whoever it was finally decided to leave a voicemail. (And yeah, it was a distinctive ring, so it's unlikely that it was more than one phone...at least the same rings.)

It's bad enough they go off at all in a theatre, but in an obviously intense play overall and section in general, to have your phone go off and not bother to turn it off or to silence after one gaffe is utterly rude and disrespectful.

(eta: I know the Public is off-Broadway, but it was so rude it deserved to be mentioned.)

Updated On: 12/10/07 at 06:53 PM

[FinalDestination]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 7:22pm

My worst audience experience was in Chicago (the city, this isn't Broadway, obviously). Well, I was seeing Wicked, and as soon as the show started, some guy behind me whispered to the like four others he was with "do you want some chips??". The idiot had mother f**king DORITOS!! He ate them throughout the entire first act. Oh, and then some little kid CRIED when Dee rose up during Defying Gravity!

*Intermission*
I stepped on the bag of Doritos. The idiots had slid them under my seat because they left to go to the bathroom or whatever, well, I stood up to go talk to my friends who were two rows ahead of me. Because the bag was jumbo, I stepped on it and crushed half the Doritos.

*Act II*
During Act I, I sat next to this woman, who was really polite, etc. During the second half, I sat next to her husband. He was rather large. He kept making groaning noises saying things like "I'd rather be at the library." or "Let's leave." or my personal favorite "What in the hell does this have to do with the mother f**king Wizard of Oz?!". Well, the show ends. Is this the end of it? Heck no. The guy stood up for curtain call, and STOOD ON MY FOOT! I thought it was gonna break! I eventually got up, and then he like shifted over, and his foot was pressing on my jeans, so my pants are sliding down, I'm trying to stand up straight for curtain call. It was a MESS!! But, all in all the show was great. The audience in GENERAL was fine, but it was just those few people.

I also had a thing when I saw The Lion King in St. Louis. People kept taking flash photographs and talking LOUDLY.

Also, I saw Dirty Rotten Scoundrels in St. Louis this past March. You'd think the older crowd would know how to behave in a theatre? Hell no. This lady in front of me, complained EVERYTIME they said something even REMOTELY inappropriate. She was like "I will pray for them." IT'S THEATRE.

And, my rant is over.

[colorsblend]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 7:25pm

When I saw Spring Awakening in July there was this woman behind me (probably in her 40's at least and who I could tell had seen it at least once before) sobbing from And Then There Were None to the end of the show. It was very distracting and annoying and the man and his son next to her thought she was completely rude.

[TBone]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 7:30pm

EVERYTIME they said something even REMOTELY inappropriate. She was like "I will pray for them."

FinalDestination, This just made my day!!

[StageGuy99]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 7:33pm

I posted this a long time ago, but think about it everytime someone brings up rude audience members... Saw it on Craig's list one day...


To: Guy Who Screamed Obscenities at the Ballet the Other Night:

Date: 2007-05-07, 11:59AM PDT


It was Don Quixote, a rather fun full-length ballet, nobody dies like in the dreary Giselle or Swan Lake.

Another fantastic performance by the SF Ballet. I know you enjoyed it. Our whole section knows you enjoyed it. Every time a dancer would perform a particularly impressive jump, or a series of 3+ pirouettes, you would say, "Whoa!" or "Jaysus!"

This, I didn't mind. As a former dancer and now a season-ticket holder of our City's fine company, I get a kick out of hearing others' excitement for an artform I hold dear. Much better than the guy next to me whose head started to fall like a kid in an 8th grade math class.

So, the curtain falls. The end. Applause.

Curtain comes up and the dancers begin to take their bows. You notice a few people standing up. Was it an ovation? NO! They were LEAVING! These people could not WAIT to get to their cars (they were obviously not MUNI riders, walkers or cab-hailers like most of us in the City)! They had no time for CLAPPING! They had to get out now!

It was then you yelled, in your beautiful gray-haired old crotchety man voice, "WILL YOU PEOPLE SIT DOWN AND LET THE *POLITE* PEOPLE SHOW THEIR APPRECIATION?!," slight pause, "YA A$$HOLES!"

Now, I have seen dozens of ballets in my relatively short lifetime of 25 years. Never, not once, have I encountered a fan of ballet quite like you. At the ballgame, sure, that kind of yelling is par for the course. At the ballgame we eat peanuts and leave the shells in piles at our feet.

Sir, this was THE BALLET.

And for your outburst directed at the people who think somewhere in their tiny brains that it is even remotely acceptable to get up and leave during the curtain call, remotely acceptable to not even clap for the world class artists who just performed a most difficult and worthwhile ballet for our enjoyment (artists whose salary is about that of a standard office receptionist), remotely acceptable to WALK OUT while the house lights are up and we can all (including the dancers) see...

Kind sir, for your outburst, screaming at these "a$$holes", I thank you from the bottom of my art-loving heart.

I've been wanting to say that for a long time.

And WOW! They sat their asses down, didn't they?! A few were even clapping.

You are the BEST.

Cordially,
Fellow Supporter of the Fine Arts in San Francisco

[LifeofTheParty2]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 9:30pm

Oh God....I have way too many stories about awful audience members to fit onto just one message board...It's not Broadway, but I worked Front of House at Second Stage for two years. So I had these kinds of problems about once a week at the very least.

There was the woman who showed up late and as she was being seated, strange barking sounds started coming out of nowhere and only then did anyone realize that she brought her dog to the theater. Naturally, she was shocked to hear she couldn't keep it in her purse...and that the box office would not do-gsit for her.

The older couple that was 20 minutes late for a show and in the process of trying to late seat them, they started yelling at me (loudly enough for the entire building to wonder what was going on) and then the man punched me on the arm. Don't worry, it didn't hurt, he was very old.

The droves of groupies (of all ages) that would show up to the theater to stalk Taye Diggs. I had to throw myself in between him and a pack of 40-something year old women to prevent them from jumping on his back. We also all had to sit through the high school girl screaming every time he walked onstage. One day, it was so bad that he had to break the fourth wall and gesture for them to settle down.

The packs of people who came to see The Scene, but only because they were OBSESSED with Tony Schaloub and Patricia Heaton. The play was not appropriate for children in any way, but they would cart their kids in and brush off warnings with excuses like "Oh but he loves Monk!" And then it would take hours and extra security to get the stars out of the building safely and the lobby clear after the show.

The woman who had to use the restroom in the middle of the show, but somehow managed to walk right past the bathrooms and find a darkened corner by our concessions to squat and pee in.

People with food (pound cakes wrapped in foil, fried chicken dinners, hamburgers, bottles of whisky, you name it) or cell phones (you still can't use it in the theater, even at intermission, walk the ten feet to the lobby if it's that important).

The woman whose Access-A-Ride showed up half an hour early. I asked him not to call your phone, as you were in the theater. He didn't listen. He called, your phone rang, you answered, you had a conversation. And then you walked slowly and loudly out of the theater.

The men who were late and pissed they couldn't get their seats that came out from fighting with the House Manager and decided to scream at me for "smirking" as I'm standing in the lobby with a dozen bloody towels wrapped around my hand, trying to figure out if I can stop the bleeding without leaving work. Yes, clearly I was thinking of you at that moment.

And finally, a special shoutout to anyone who ever felt the need to put on a big display about how much you disliked a show. Your opinion does matter, and it is my job to report back but throwing your coffee all over the lobby, or taking five minutes to rip up your tickets and sprinkle the shards all over the place, or giving me a 10-minute long, expletive-filled diatribe is not the way to communicate with me.

[dancingthrulife04]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 9:56pm

I can't believe I never posted the shoe story. I saw A Chorus Line from standing room over the summer. This guy had the space next to me, and he came in bitching about having to stand, and how he hoped the show was good enough. I told him that I had seen it before and it was a very good show, which seemed to relax him. A few minutes later I'm smelling something very foul. I look around until finally I notice his feet, which are bare. He had his sneakers sitting behind him. Then the usher comes over. I had never seen this usher NOT yelling at someone, but she came over and very politely said "Would you put those next to you so no one trips over them? Thanks." and walked away with a smile.

Fast forward to last week, same show.

I had 4th row center orchestra seats, and there were empty seats in front of me, behind me, and next to me. I figured since it was a Wednesday, it was just a slow crowd (even though people in the other sections started trickling in right after the show started). Once we got to "Sing!", ALL of the empty seats around me started filling up at once. The people coming in behind me bashed me in the back of the head with a bag. It was really annoying, and if that was me I would have been embarrassed because the cast could see them. Then, to add to the fun, there was a highschool group there. At the one of One, where they keep repeating "One... One!..." one of the kids went "TWOO!!!"

The only one that might top those is when I was working this year's fringe festival. During the show, I'm hearing barking from one of the seats in front of me. It was a woman's cell phone, set to bark like a tiny dog. She then took the phone out and attempted to figure out how to shut it (with the help of her friend sitting next to her). When neither of them could figure out how to shut it off, the woman decided to answer it ("I can't...I'm watching a show!"). I gave them my best death stare, as did a few others. The woman's friend decides to shield her from our evil eyes by, yes... throwing her jacket over the talker's head.

[Cape Twirl of Doom]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 10:14pm

The woman who had to use the restroom in the middle of the show, but somehow managed to walk right past the bathrooms and find a darkened corner by our concessions to squat and pee in.

:O
I think that wins the thread.

[FinalDestination]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 10:14pm

TBone, glad to have made your day.

But, she was one of those overly religious people you DON'T DARE swear around.

She just about had a heart attack during "Hummers in my hummer".

During curtain call she sat the entire time, and didn't clap!

She said something about God punishing her for standing for such garbage. And that all the cast members need to repent for their various sins, and so on.

It was so RANDOM though.

A couple of "I will pray for them" moments:
"How far do you wanna go?"
"All the way!"

Anything mentioning sex or any type of sexual innuendos.

At the end of Ruprecht

And after the line "Watch me blow the little mother f**ker's heads off!" in 'Oklahoma'.

These are just SOME of the "I will pray for you" things. There were many more.

She was a nut. Not only that, she was unreasonably loud.

Updated On: 12/10/07 at 10:14 PM

[Baiseur82]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 11:10pm

I have so many but here are a few of my favorite.
To start this off I have o say that I hate eating in the theater. Get your drinks and M&M's before the show or during intermission. I have no patience for the candy wrappers and crap like that. So this summer I took my mom to see A Chorus Line. There was a family sitting behind us and as soon as the show started the mom pulled out SUBWAY yeah FREAKING SUBWAY she starts loudly asking her children what kind of chips they ordered, so they got the chips all passed out and then came the subs, the mother was opening up all the subs trying to figure out which sub belonged to which person. So they get everything figured out about 10 minutes into the show. They then proceed to eat their subs during the first act loudly crinkling the paper subway wrappers. Oh I also forgot to mention that they had cans of coke that they were drinking throughout the performance.

I have many more but I think this was the worst for me.