Gross Stage Door Behavior

[ChiTheaterFan]

Posted: 9/26/15 at 10:39pm

So something weird/gross happened on my recent trip to NY a few weeks ago that I feel the need to share. I'm not sure why I haven't posted it yet--maybe part of me was trying to pretend I was imagining it or trying to forget it happened, But the fact that I am still thinking about it makes me think I should share in case this guy is a regular and it happens to anyone else, so you might know what is happening, since it didn't fully register with me what was happening until after it was over. 

 

I was at the Hamilton stage door after a Sunday night show and it was modestly crowded--the line was maybe 2 people deep in some places, but generally no pushing or shoving, and no one was more than one person from the barricades.  So I was standing there behind some other women, and I noticed someone REALLY close up behind me.  I thought nothing of it at first--it was crowded, and I'm used to people being pushy at the stage door, so I just protected my purse and focused on my excitement waiting for the cast.  But then I thought I felt something--ummmmmm--hard, on my butt.  I kind of semi-turned around to look out of the corner of my eye and I could see that there was a guy behind me but I couldn't get a good look.  I thought maybe what I was feeling was just his jeans or he was holding a playbill or a phone up against me or something.  But I thought it was odd because there were other places he could've moved to to be much closer to the barricades, but he just stayed there pressed up against me.  I thought it was weird, but didn't really think much of it until I kind of turned and glared at him and he turned and abruptly left.  (This was after only about 5 minutes--before any cast came out.)  As I saw him run/walk away, I noticed he was wearing raggy sweatpants and didn't have a playbill or anything else from the show in his hands. 

 

It didn't even dawn on me until he was gone, but I'm pretty sure this dude did not go to the show, but just used a crowded stage door as an opportunity to rub up against strange women and get off.  I've been trying to convince myself ever since this happened that I was imagining things, but I know in my gut I wasn't.  I thought it was weird as soon as he rubbed up against me, but I brushed it off, and in hindsight I wish I had trusted my instincts and said something.  So in case this guy does this regularly, he is probably about 5'2" or 5'3" (I noticed he was slightly shorter than me and I'm not tall), slightly heavyset but not extremely so, with a thin, short moustache, dark hair and somewhat dark skin (I didn't get a great look but he appeared to be either Hispanic or perhaps of pacific island descent).  So be on the lookout if you see someone fitting this description showing bizarre behavior around crowds of women at stage doors.

 

Is it worth notifying the house manager so security guards can keep an eye out going forward?  On the other hand my description, aside from the sweatpants, could cover many perfectly legitimate theater goers who are at the stage door, and this may have been a one-time thing.  Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?

 

I hate that there are these creeps out there. 

[LizzieCurry]

Posted: 9/26/15 at 11:18pm

Oh no. I am so sorry this happened to you. I'd definitely let the security guards and door attendants know.

[icecreambenjamin]

Posted: 9/26/15 at 11:29pm

I've heard a lot of appalling theatre related incidents,  but this is absolutely horrifying.  I hope that the theatre's security hears about this and watches out for it.

[ChiTheaterFan]

Posted: 9/26/15 at 11:32pm

Thanks guys. Does anyone know how I would contact security to let them know to be on the lookout?  I've never contacted a house before. 

[ChiTheaterFan]

Posted: 9/26/15 at 11:33pm

And BTW I do wish I'd said something earlier but I think I've been in denial trying to convince myself it was nothing. 

[oncemorewithfeeling2]

Posted: 9/27/15 at 12:04am

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I've had that happen to me before on the subway and it's unsettling, to say the least. I think this is a case where it would be worthwhile to contact house management (or see if they need to direct you elsewhere) simply because no one wants that to happen to someone. It could a regular who is a weirdo or it could be a random creeper, but it's the type of thing security can keep an eye out for.

[yankeefan7]

Posted: 9/27/15 at 3:03pm

That is awful, I am very sorry and I hope this does not stop you from doing the stage door thing again.

[ChiTheaterFan]

Posted: 9/27/15 at 3:18pm

yankeefan7 said: "That is awful, I am very sorry and I hope this does not stop you from doing the stage door thing again.

 

"

Thanks and it won't. If women let these kinds of creepy men control our lives they win. The only thing it will cause me to do differently is to trust me gut and speak up if something seems off next time. 

 

Sadly I think you'd have a hard time finding a woman in any large city who has not had an experience like this. As oncemorewithfeeling mentions I know a lot of people to whom this has happened on public transit. It's actually my second uncomfortable experience in NY. On another trip to New York earlier this summer I was alone in an elevator in Le Parker Meridian with two drunk men who turned to face me (standing at the back of the elevator) looked me up and down and made an obscene gesture and said "I'll shoot it all over your face."  My first thought in these experiences is "I'm not even dressed provocatively" but then I realize that should not matter. Even if I were walking around naked it's not ok. (I did report those douches to the hotel.). As a woman in a large city you start to get used to this happening and hearing these stories. Which is very sad. 

Updated On: 9/27/15 at 03:18 PM

[ChiTheaterFan]

Posted: 9/27/15 at 3:32pm

Also, I should note that I am sharing this so others can keep an eye out. If there are any young women out there reading this who are nervous about making trips to big cities PLEASE don't let this sort of story or my comments dissuade you from getting out and exploring the world. I grew up in a small town and now I go to NY by myself all the time and I live in Chicago by myself, where I also go out by myself all the time. Yes, this stuff happens from time to time, but you can't live your life in fear.  Most of these creepers of this nature are banking on you doing what I did and shrugging it off and hoping it will go away.  So keep your wits about you and use your VOICE to stand up for yourself but do not let the creepers keep you from doing what you love and want to do. 

[Cupid Boy2]

Posted: 9/27/15 at 5:23pm

"Most of these creepers of this nature are banking on you doing what I did and shrugging it off and hoping it will go away."

 

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's difficult to react differently in the moment, but thank you for bringing your story here. It's admirable of you to be using your experience to try to prevent similar things from happening to others. Here's hoping the Rodgers' staff will take the proper precautions. 

Updated On: 9/27/15 at 05:23 PM

[Jane2]

Posted: 9/27/15 at 6:25pm

What precautions could the theater staff take?

[Cupid Boy2]

Posted: 9/27/15 at 7:09pm

All I meant was that I hope they will give serious consideration to this and alert the stage door attendant(s) and/or security to keep an eye out for it.

Updated On: 9/27/15 at 07:09 PM

[Jane2]

Posted: 9/27/15 at 9:53pm

 how do you keep an eye out for this? If it were possible, this $hit wouldn't be happening.

[Cupid Boy2]

Posted: 9/27/15 at 10:00pm

Well, we have a description of one particular offender from the OP. Who's to say he's not stopping by that stage door on a regular basis?

 

It couldn't hurt to look out for a guy matching that description who might be coming to the door regularly. That's all; I wasn't implying we could stop it all together. 

Updated On: 9/27/15 at 10:00 PM

[Jane2]

Posted: 9/27/15 at 10:20pm

These sickos know how to ply their "craft." I'm just saying I don't see a way to prevent them. And I also don't see the theaters taking this on as an added responsibility. 

[Cupid Boy2]

Posted: 9/27/15 at 10:51pm

I understand your point, perhaps I was being naive. If all else fails, I suppose hoping that those who encounter similar situations will have the moxie to speak up may be the best we can do.

Updated On: 9/27/15 at 10:51 PM

[LizzieCurry]

Posted: 9/27/15 at 10:57pm

It's not going to hurt to just tell security at the theatre about this guy. If they can/want to keep a more vigilant eye on the outer ring of the stagedoor crowd, they will. If they won't, they won't. But you said something.

[Jane2]

Posted: 9/27/15 at 11:09pm

HI Lizzy!

[KathyNYC2]

Posted: 9/28/15 at 12:39am

I agree that if there is a description of a particular offender, I would think the theater would DEFINITELY want to know and have the stage door security guards be on the lookout. I mean what show needs bad publicity outside their theater....I don't mean they are going to hire extra people or patrol in the area in a different way.  Just to be aware.

And of course you should say something...if you have one shred of a chance to protect someone else, why not.

[KathyNYC2]

Posted: 9/28/15 at 12:39am

Sorry double post.

Updated On: 9/28/15 at 12:39 AM

[BobBenson]

Posted: 9/28/15 at 3:18am

Gross. Gross. Gross. This kinda stuff just gets my blood boiling. I'm 6'2 and 210lbs, so this stuff, obviously, doesn't happen to me. And it better not happen to anyone I'm with at the time. I'm very sorry that it happened to you. I imagine something like this happening to my sister or a friend and t gets me all rowled up. 

[lonngdaysnight]

Posted: 9/28/15 at 12:42pm

omg, that is horrible and disgusting and I am so sorry that that happened to you. By all means report it to security. Their job is to keep you safe as well.

[Jane2]

Posted: 9/28/15 at 1:54pm

 

 

 Anyway, don't go on a crowded subway. All kinds of perverted stuff going on there. Really scary-I've had a few incidents myself.

[Lefty3]

Posted: 9/28/15 at 4:16pm

If the house manager and security staff are alerted to this activity with a description of the offender, it can be looked out for at the stage door.  In addition, at a show like Hamilton, it wouldn't be unusual for for an NYPD presence. If people are more diligent and don't second guess what is happening to them, something can be done about it, right there and then. Always alert theatre staff of a potential dangerous situation.

[Lefty3]

Posted: 9/28/15 at 5:26pm

If you feel inclined to contact the theatre, drop a line to the House Manager at:

Richard Rodgers Theatre

226 W 46th St

New York, NY 10036