I admit it: I have an unhealthy obsession with the Pioneer Woman

Posted: 10/18/14 at 1:07pm

I never understood the people who hate-watched Glee. Once it became obvious that the show had no relation to real life and was going to be a succession of unlikeable bad actors engaging in third-rate karaoke I just moved on. I know that I should do the same with Ree Drummond, Food Network's Antichef du jour but I can't.

Today the "Pioneer Woman" had to cook lunch for her family and "Cowboy Josh" who, for at least the third time in less than three years, was spending the day building fences on their "ranch." So the episode showed her making tacos, beans and salsa. Two weeks ago the same exact crew was branding cattle and she made them chicken legs, tortillas, beans and salsa- come on Ree! It's been weeks since you've made Chicken Ranch sandwiches for the gang! Taco Bell has a more diverse line up than Ree's top-rated "cooking" show.

Never mind that Ree's food is ghastly unhealthy and devoid of any seasoning except hot pepper or that her recipes are vague to the point of surrealism ("Take a good amount" is her usual measurement), does America really need a TV "chef" to tell them how to make American-stye tacos?

I can see the argument that home cook are far more likely to serve "queso" made from Velveeta and Ro-tel tomatoes than they are to spend two days making Ina Garten's croquembouche but the recipe is right on the damn tomato can- but do we really need three or four episodes of a cooking show to teach us how to do it?

And the woman seriously needs to learn a few new recipes. Take Ranch Dressing. Please. Most "cooks" have a bottle in the pantry. Some might use the dry mix to make their own with mayo and buttermilk. But Ree makes her own, week after week. Sometimes she calls it "herby Ranch" and uses fresh herbs. Other times it's dried herbs, sometimes she adds some garlic or peppercorns or even bleu cheese, each time passing it off as another recipe. It makes sense that she's made it in no less than six episodes- the woman uses that shiz on EVERYTHING! Salad greens, sliced tomatoes, and five or six "Different" chicken sandwiches. Seriously, half her episodes utilize Ranch dressing as an ingredient. And she's made the same "chili beans" at least a half-dozen times. And don't get me started on "The Bread," Ree's "twist" on garlic bread that sometimes has cheese or olives or garlic or ranch dressing mixed into the HALF POUND of butter spread on it.

And no matter WHAT abomination is Ree-gurgitated, the episode ends with her hapless kids or husband or prison work-gang congratulating the little woman on her best meal ever. If they have escaped, Ree ropes her fellow home-school snobs into complimenting her casserole or salad. If all else fails, Ree herself will tell us how awesome she is- she often will enthuse over two or three recipes in a single show- each of which is her absolute favorite thing. Really.

Sheesh. And this has made her a millionaire.

OK thanks I feel better now.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 10/18/14 at 1:27pm

I do go to her website on occasion for recipes I grew up with. Her cinnamon bread is a big hit with my Swedish family. I call it kanelbullebröd and they think I am a genius. The Texas Sheet Cake is a big hit, too. I can't stand the woman, though.

Posted: 10/18/14 at 1:31pm

Well you will be glad to know that Ree's "Texas Sheet Cake" recipe (easily her best dish) has been circulating since before Ree was born. My mom used to make it all the time, using a recipe published in a church-ladies cookbook in the early 70's.

[Gothampc]

Posted: 10/18/14 at 1:51pm

A certain percentage of Food Network's shows have always been targeted toward people who want quick and easy. How do you think Sandra Lee ever made it past the audition? Have you seen some of the mess she serves up?

Cooking show are more about personality than cooking. And right now Food Network is getting their *ss handed to them because of the Paula Deen situation. Even people who didn't like Paula Deen's food were angry with Food Network for railroading her.

Ree's show is no different than Ina Garten, except that Ina Garten thinks her farts smell like cinnamon.

Ina is always cooking for her husband Richard or whatever his name is. Ina had at least two shows where she prepared a meal in France and then prepared the same meal for her US friends (snob much?). And where Ina uses gay men as her props, Ree uses her family as her props. The shows are exactly the same with just the food being different.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 10/18/14 at 1:55pm

No, I knew it wasn't HERS. I just got it from her site. It's one of the "grew up with" recipes.

[HorseTears]

Posted: 10/18/14 at 2:34pm

[Gothampc]

Posted: 10/18/14 at 3:06pm

Sandra teaching the fly girls how to make a Kawanza cake using their EBT cards. I mean nobody can cook soul food like a drunk, white blond, right? If Sandra can catch the Governor of New York State for a boyfriend, then why can't these fly girls get Denzel or Barack?
Link

[Gothampc]

Posted: 10/18/14 at 3:11pm

Shiksa teaching how to cook kosher. Where's Ida Morgenstern when you need her? But Sandra got herself a good man, Governor of New York, no less. If you cook like this, you too can get an Ed Koch or a Roy Cohn.
Link

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/18/14 at 3:22pm

That took a turn I didn't expect. And it make me giggle like a school person.

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 10/18/14 at 4:11pm

Jigga whaaat?

Posted: 10/18/14 at 6:01pm

i really don't see any equivalence between Garten and Drummond. True they both serve up their programs against a phony "real world" back drop but that is about as far as the resemblance goes. Garten has had her TV show since 2002 (twelve full years) and has published eight cookbooks without resorting to re-creating the same dish multiple times.

Did you know that Ina Garten also has her pilots license and worked for presidents Ford and Carter as a budget analyst overseeign the nuclear program? She also knows an awful lot of gay men.

[rosscoe(au)]

Posted: 10/18/14 at 6:10pm

This has turned into my favorite thread ever!

[dramamama611]

Posted: 10/19/14 at 9:43am

I adore cooking shows, and often have Food Network on while I'm cleaning & grading papers. But I can't STAND Ree Drummond.

I find her to be smug and phony beyond words. A huge portion of the time, she's just reading off a recipe (as a voice over) and see sounds incredibly unnatural.

And then there's her food that I can never see hitting my table.

I even like Trisha's show more. (Which is on right now!)

[Wildcard]

Posted: 10/19/14 at 7:03pm

The TV "host" I couldn't stand is Katie Lee. She was terrible in Top Chef and she's terrible now in The Kitchen. She has zero personality. Clearly looks aren't everything.

[TheatreFan4]

Posted: 10/20/14 at 1:03am

I tend to prefer my Youtube chefs Hilah & Laura Vitale.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 10/20/14 at 9:32am

I have three unwatchable shows on TFN and CC, this woman, Bobby Flay (except for Next Food Network Star, where he is less of a jerk) and anything with Guy Fieri. I used to try to watch DDD for the locales and other personalities, but he is just so disgusting.

I think Sandra Lee, while preposterous, can be entertaining. I mean, she has to be in on the joke when she ices Entenmann's chocolate chip cookies, no?

Oh, and I dont cook...at all.

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 10/20/14 at 12:06pm

I can't stand Rhee Drummond, but I liked that she mentioned the Broadway revival of Les Miz in her blog when a friend of mine went on for Marius a few months ago.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 10/20/14 at 2:21pm

Doodle - I really liked Bobby Flay on Worst Cooks in America. He actually seemed really nice.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 10/20/14 at 2:28pm

Joe - I actually like this show! I would normally have no interest in conservatives on the farm cooking easy recipes, but I LOVE it!!!!

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 10/20/14 at 2:59pm

MM, that's the one I meant. He was less insufferable on WCIA.

I always get the queasy feeling that TPW is very unhappy but has to pretend she loves her life. I wouldnt want to encounter that husband after he's been drinkin'.

Posted: 10/20/14 at 4:22pm

Doodle there is a bizarre passive-aggessive undertone to Ree & Ladd's relationship. She is always mentioning ingredients and foods that he can't stand and joking about forcing or tricking him into eating them. And she's trotted out the "rubber snake" to terrorize him as a "prank" several times.

And Tricia Yearwoood's show is superior in every way. She also uses a lot of shortcuts to produce simple, family-friendly food but she presents it in a much more accessible way and seems a lot more human doing so. And despite being a millionaire recording star married to one of the most successful musicians of all time, she comes off as far more of a "regular gal" than Ree.

Updated On: 10/20/14 at 04:22 PM

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 10/20/14 at 4:35pm

No comparison between the two.

For example, when Tricia's friends come over, they are going to have a good time.

When Bree's friends come over, it's like they are going for a root canal!

Posted: 10/20/14 at 5:39pm

There is a strained phoniness to every Pioneer Woman scenario. The episode where she made dinner and a cake for her grandmother-in-law and then dumped it all off and left the poor old lady alone on her birthday was particularly odd.

[Bettyboy72]

Posted: 10/20/14 at 7:40pm

Trisha, Sandwich King and The Kitchen are the best things the Food Network has right now. Trisha and Sandwich King are down to earth and you can tell they are cooking with true family and friends, having fun and ad-libbing. As an aside, I am so hot for the Sandwich King. He's just sooo BIG and cute.

I wont even go into that fat Southern woman whose name slips my mind who clearly is someone they tried to replace Deen with. She's awful. Rhee is just terrible with her faux Tex-Mex and skillet cornbread "in foil". Guy Fieri is just a slob on every level-he makes me physically ill to watch. Whenever I see him I just remember him crying every week on Food Network Star-what a puss.

Deen, her issues aside, was authentic in ways that so few on that Network are. I dont thing people even liked her food. They liked her as a person and the fun she had.

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 10/20/14 at 8:53pm

Doodle and Joe, you two crack me up!

When I first saw Paula Deen in 2001 I was able to tolerate her. Then over the years she became a caricature of herself. It's no wonder this happened with the vile and obnoxious Gordon Elliott as her show's producer.

Sandra Lee's Kwanza Cake as seen on YouTube is a riot.

Nigella talks dirty is also one of my favorites.