Appointment with the Wicker Man at National Theatre of Scotland

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2. Appointment with the Wicker Man

On a remote Scottish island, amateur theatre company The Loch Parry Players are rehearsing their stage version of cult film The Wicker Man. Their unique approach to this classic horror owes more to Glee than Christopher Lee, but as they say themselves – we’re all about the fun!

However, as is often the way in the business called show, there’s a problem. Their leading man has gone missing in ‘mysterious circumstances’. All is not lost though, as they’ve managed to hire an actor - who stars as a cop on the telly – to come over from the mainland and step in at the last minute. So far, so good, so on with the show.

Of course, what they haven’t told him is that there’s just 24 hours before opening night. Not only that, they’ve also failed to mention that he’ll have to learn a host of song and dance routines, deal with amazingly bad acting (there’s more ham onstage than you’ll find in a Waitrose deli) criminal costumes and sets that can kill. Strangest of all, everyone else in the show seems to think that it’s for real…

Following this so far? No? Well don’t worry. All you need to know is that there’s laughs by the bucket load, more innuendo than you can shake a maypole at and an erotic dance sequence that doesn’t beat about the bush.

Appointment with the Wicker Man is a love letter to a unique and timeless cult masterpiece, except that someone forgot to pay the postage. This adaptation messes with forces it can't possibly comprehend and at the end of the night, only one thing is for sure...someone's going to burn for this!