Review: Please Spell What? SF Bee's Adult Night

If a young Asian girl flashing leopard print panties at the audience is too much for you to handle, than it'd had been best you stayed away from the Post Street Theatre Sunday night, because that wasn't even the worst of it!  The San Francisco cast of the Tony Award-winning The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee presented their first Adults Only show June 4, to a full house of "mature" Bay Area theatre fans, some whom were literally brought to their knees laughing.

In this take-no-prisoners performance riddled with obscenity and hilarity, the tamest moment of the show may have been spelling "tampon."  All shreds of decency were left at home with the babysitter.

Spelling Bee, an addictive Broadway hit, now hosts two sit-down productions, in Chicago and San Francisco, and readies itself for its first national tour.  The concept for the Adults Only show was first tested in NYC October 2005, with many of the show's lyrics and script rewritten for mature audiences, such as replacing spelling words like "hasenpfeffer" with "fudge..." (well you get the picture)!

Jared Gertner, who plays foot-obsessed William Barfee, explained the cast had a two and a half hour rehearsal Friday and 45 minutes pre-show.  "We looked at the [adult show] revisions from New York and decided to rewrite many of the jokes to better fit our characters and the San Francisco audience."

Aaron Albano, who plays pubescent Chip Tolentino with an anatomical distraction, smiled: "That whole Scientology bit? That was ours!"  In the original show, contestant Olive's mother is away seeking peace in India.  However, in San Francisco's dirty version, Olive's mom (played by Betsy Wolfe), is on a Scientology spiritual quest in Hollywood.  Wolfe dons a pair of alien eyeballs and a sign reading "Free Stress Test," pushes aside her daughter, and has a diva sing-off with her "black dad" (played by James Monroe Iglehart).

During what is normally a sentimental scene, "The I Love You Song," Olive croons revised lyrics "Tell me about the aliens / Are they like, oh God, E.T.? / I think Tom Cruise is crazy, Ma / And I don't know what to do / Mama, Mama, Mama! / How I wish you'd phone home."

Sara Inbar (Logainne Schwartzandgrubenierre), who hand-fed the largely liberal audience President George W. Bush whacks via grotesque yet accurate metaphor, regaled post-show how she wished she could do so every night!

While I can't get into details on some of the raunchiness that ensued, some other notable adult moments were Albano littering the audience with condoms and a cameo center-stage appearance by Rona Lisa Piretti's (Wolfe) wiggling sex toy.  There was under-age innuendo, Jesus promoting safe-sex, a tribute to Brokeback Mountain, and an enraged look into the history of Comfort Counselor Mitch Mahoney (Iglehart).  Add a few breast gropes here and there and it was a recipe for slack-jaw shock!

Guests blushed at the mic spelling words that would have otherwise landed a bar of soap in their mouth.  As one last nipple-twist, the final word of the night was "schadenfreude" – from the other Tony-winning comedic musical Avenue Q – "which just closed in Las Vegas because a show can't make it on potty humor."  (I'm only quoting the show, don't kill me!)

But the blessing in disguise with this kind of performance is an overwhelming relief both on and off stage.  After performing 8 days a week as quirky kids, this night provided the talented actors a window to expose their adult sides, riotously destroying their child personas in the process.

And in the same vein, the relief was in the spectatorship.  In the City that invented political correctness, it was a sigh of relief to be able to laugh at taboo subjects.  And having them blatantly (pelvic) thrust in your face makes it easier to enjoy.  To once again quote Avenue Q, "Everyone's a little bit racist…" and sexist, homophobic, perverted, bias, horny, blasphemous, crude…you get the idea.  Thank you, San Francisco Bee for a healthy, nihilistic release.

The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee is currently playing at the Post Street Theatre, San Francisco.  For more tickets and information visit www.spellingbeethemusical.com or www.poststreettheatre.com. 

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