BWW Blog: How to Say No

When you're a college student, especially if you're studying the creative arts, the biggest piece of advice you get is to take every opportunity that comes your way. You never know when the next one will come along. Take every role, say yes to every gig, take whatever pay you can get. How else are you going to get along in this business? Aside from being incredibly tiring-nobody is built to say yes to everything-it's an unhealthy mindset to carry throughout your life.

Case in point, the end of the semester is inevitably the worst few weeks of a college student's life. Just when you feel like you can't possibly do anything more, you need to dig deep and find it in you to study for a few big tests, assemble a final portfolio, and write a few 10+ page papers while you're at it. In the midst of it all, it feels like you'll never finish, and when you do, it's entirely possible that you'll have no brain cells left-and that's just the stuff that you're required to do. On top of all of that, you undoubtedly have extracurriculars, a job, and friends who need emotional and academic support.

Finals are all about prioritizing-which is hard when everything in the life of a college student demands to be put first. Drop the ball on your finals and you may be able to have a social life. Go off the radar for a few weeks and you may get straight As, but sacrifice your club meetings. At best, you'll be frustrated with your inability to do it all. At worst, if you're like me, you'll feel like you're letting the universe down. What's a student to do?

Say no.

Not to everything, not all at once, but try saying no. No, you don't have room in your schedule to hang out right now. No, you would love to, but sadly, you're too swamped to take the part. It's hard. In fact, if you've spent most of your academic career being told to never let an opportunity pass you by, it will feel completely wrong. But it's important to create this boundary.

During finals last year, I had no boundaries. I would work at any time in any place, feeling like I was the platonic ideal of a devoted student. I would read anybody's paper who asked. I began working on my papers a month ahead of time, bound and determined to write the perfect paper. At the end of it all, when I got home, the only thing I was good for was sitting on the couch and watching Netflix-I had spent all my energy in a fantastic burst of finals-taking.

Needless to say, I learned my lesson from that first semester. I learned to gauge how much time an assignment is worth, and more importantly, I learned that nothing will ever be perfect. You give your best effort, you do it all in good faith, and you know when to put the matter to rest.

Turning down an opportunity is not missing your big break-that's what they forget to tell you when you're studying acting and writing and directing. It's an excuse meant to scare young people into a state of constant acquiescence. So, the next time you're faced with too much on your plate, do yourself a favor. Say no.

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