Review: NIGHTMARE DOLLHOUSE at Teatro SEA @ The Clemente is a thrill!

"This is a spoiler-free review, but I urge you to proceed at your own risk...Muahahaha!"

Psycho Clan and ETR Ventures' latest immersive horror venture, 'Nightmare Dollhouse,' is chilling, to say the least. With twenty-one seasons under their belt, it's safe to say they know a thing or two about delivering spine-tingling thrills. What sets this venture apart is its unique concept. While haunted houses often feature the expected blood, gore, monsters, and zombies, I've never encountered one 'inspired by the weirdest and scariest roadside oddities.'

Upon arriving at Teatro SEA @ The Clemente on 107 Suffolk Street, the contrast is striking. The security, box office, and front-of-house staff exude warmth and friendliness, creating a disconcerting atmosphere, juxtaposed by the bone-chilling shrieks that pierce through the draped walls behind them. Every instinct says to run, but like the hapless character in a horror movie, I join the crowd of strangers, waiting to step through a jagged slit in an ominous black curtain.

Before entering, a handsome gatekeeper who somehow still gives off lurch vibes, confesses, "I don't know why they put me here. I'm not a calming influence." You, sir, are totally correct, and now I am even more eager to get inside.

The first room lays the groundwork for a scare I couldn't have predicted. And, worst of all, it comes when (and how) I never would have expected. I put my guard down for one second and l pay the price. One point for 'Nightmare Dollhouse,' and zero points for Nathan, the chicken. Seconds later, the Dollhouse scores two more points, so I accept my fate and fervently pray for survival.

Room after room, I am terrified. At one point, while on my hands and knees in a haven of stuffed animals, I am momentarily lulled into believing I am safe—I am, in fact, not safe, because the scare that immediately follows has continued to haunt me. How did I not know that the sweetest and most innocent thing in the entire house was nefarious?

The theme of 'how did I not know' runs through the experience. There are multiple points of the unexpected, a satisfying number of jump scares, and setups where I'm keenly aware that something terrible is lurking nearby, yet I'm still terrified. How? This is the magic of writer/director Timothy Haskell.

While we anticipate scares in each room, the true terror lies in not knowing what form they will take. Perhaps that's why the most innocent-looking doll frightened me the most. Yes, I keep coming back to this. Come to think of it, I should probably move my cherished childhood doll (which bears a resemblance) out of the bedroom. Just to be safe, you know.

In all seriousness, this show is a sensory feast. It takes you on a rollercoaster ride through a collection of dolls you've always suspected were evil, and some you'd never have imagined (see, I’m back to it again). One room in particular scared my friend Dan so much that he shoved me forward as sacrifice. In that moment, I learned two things: this haunted house has something that will strike the core of terror in everyone, and I'd better not end up in a B-Horror movie - with Dan, at least, not if I want to live.

As for the actors, those who never utter a word are just as compelling as those who fully embrace their characters. In fact, and here I go again, the one that made my soul leave my body never said a word—in fact, it simply stood up.

Now, for some warnings: if you're sensitive to strobe lights-stay away, as they're used frequently. If you have a weak heart; revisit the section about the seemingly innocent doll for reference, it may kill you. If you've always harbored suspicions that your dolls were evil and discovering their secret could push you to insanity, you may find yourself committed. Lastly, if you're a 'party pooper Barbie' and dislike having a fantastic time with a group of friends while a team of actors works tirelessly to terrify you in a well-conceived and constructed horror house—well, you actually should go because there's no way this won't scare some joy into your raisin-sized heart.

One piece of advice: don't rush, unless of course sheer horror compels you to flee for survival. Otherwise, take in the surroundings. Even the sparsest rooms are thoughtfully and precisely designed. The only thing that could make this scarier is if the Cabbage Patch dolls were included. I've always suspected there was something sinister behind their innocent smiles. On second thought, maybe it's better that they weren't. I left hoarse, and that's definitely better than leaving as a ghost.

I'd like to acknowledge the team: Timothy Haskell (writer and director), Paul Smithyman (production designer), Zoe Stanton-Savitz (sound designer), Yang Yu (lighting designer), Brynne Oster-Bainnson (costume designer), and Charnelle Crick (video designer). Well done!

As a calming ritual before your visit, might I recommend hanging out with your great-grandma's Victorian dolls, you know, the ones with those haunting dead eyes...or you could just sneak into American Girl Place and cuddle up for the night.

The limited engagement runs October 13 - 31, 2023 with most performances from 5pm - 11pm (check website for details). Ages 16 or older, 12-15 admitted with a guardian.

For more information and to purchase tickets, visit nightmarenyc.com.

Photo Credit: Vanessa Lopera - JOCO Media - all photos provided by the production.

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