Highlights from SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S 'Weekend Update' with Cecily Strong & Colin Jost

Below, check out highlights from SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S 'Weekend Update' with Cecily Strong & Colin Jost.

STRONG - "Tensions between Russia and Ukraine escalated this week when Crimea's parliament voted in favor of leaving Ukraine and becoming part of Russia. "Oh come on!" said a kid with an upcoming Geography test.

STRONG - "President Obama this week warned Russian President Vladimir Putin, who has sent warships to Crimea, that he is on the "wrong side of history." Pretty strong words from a guy who still uses a Blackberry."

JOST - "While speaking at the Conservative Political Action Conference, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul criticized NSA privacy violations asking, "Will we be like lemmings, rushing to the comfort of Big Brother's crushing embrace?" Or will we be like Rand Paul, not quite understanding what lemmings do?"

JOST - "Radio Shack announced this week that it will be closing more than a thousand of its stores. Radio Shack's profits have fallen in recent years due to stiff competition from The March of time."

STRONG - "This Wednesday was the Catholic holiday of Ash Wednesday. "Or not. Whatever man," said Pope Francis, before flicking a cigarette and peeling away on a Harley."

STRONG - "Scientists in Sicily have launched a cannoli into the upper stratosphere aboard a balloon. Said one scientist, 'A-finally! We a-have-a the space program!'"

JOST - "A new doll is being sold as an alternative to Barbie called "Lammily," which has the body of an average 19 year-old girl and not, as the name suggests, the body of a cartoon sheep."

JOST - "Colorado has launched a 1 million dollar ad campaign warning people of the dangers of getting stoned and driving. So keep your eyes peeled for billboards that say 'Speed Up!'"

STRONG - "A Canadian company is now selling "Push-Up Jeans," which make women's rear-ends appear larger without using padding. For more on this story, Call SIR-MIX-A-LOT and kick them nasty thoughts."

STRONG - "New York City's Health Department has identified an outbreak of a rare skin infection among people who handle raw fish in Chinatown. Well, so much for the glamour and romance of handling raw fish in Chinatown."

STRONG - "Pope Francis on Thursday confessed to a group of priests that he once stole another priest's rosary cross right from his casket. Responded one priest, 'Okay, I'll go next, um 'dare'.'"

JOST - "Residents in San Antonio, Texas are upset over the name of an Asian-themed food truck, which is called "Cock-Asian". As are Internet users who expected very different search results."

JOST - "The sandwich chain Arby's has paid 44,000 dollars for the hat Pharrell Williams wore at The Grammys - because, like their customers, Arby's makes terrible choices."


"Saturday Night Live," NBC's Emmy Award-winning late-night comedy showcase, enters its 39th season in September for another year of laughs, surprises and great performances.

Since its inception in 1975, "SNL" has launched the careers of many of the brightest comedy performers of their generation. As The New York Times noted on the occasion of the show's Emmy-winning 25th Anniversary special in 1999, "in Defiance of both time and show business convention, 'SNL' is still the most pervasive influence on the art of comedy in contemporary culture." At the close of the century, "Saturday Night Live" placed seventh on Entertainment Weekly's list of the Top 100 Entertainers of the past fifty years.

The program has won 40 Emmy Awards and now holds the title for the most nominated television show in Emmy history with 156 nominations. "SNL" has been honored twice, in 1990 and 2009, with the prestigious George Foster Peabody Award and cited as "truly a national institution." "Saturday Night Live" was inducted into the Broadcasting Hall of Fame by the National Association of Broadcasters, and the show continues to garner the highest ratings of any late-night television program, entertaining millions each week.

"SNL" sketches still bear repeating on Monday mornings. With live show surprises, especially those timed to the election - from Barack Obama's surprise walk-on, Hillary Clinton's performance opposite Amy Poehler and Senator John McCain's "Weekend Update" appearance - "SNL" is making headlines and influencing the political dialogue while skewering it at the same time. Beyond politics, the show's cast of recurring characters and its take on pop culture targets remain spot-on. The addition of the show's Emmy Award-winning SNL Digital Shorts continues to keep the show as current today as it was when it debuted.

"Saturday Night Live," which premiered October 11, 1975, is broadcast live from NBC's famed Studio 8H in New York City's Rockefeller Center. The program is a production of Broadway Video in association with SNL Studios. Lorne Michaels is the executive producer.

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