Skip to main content Skip to footer site map

Highlights from SATURDAY NIGHT LIVES Weekend Update

Below, check out highlights from SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S WEEKEND UPDATE with Colin Jost and Michael Che.

"WEEKEND UPDATE" ANCHOR MICHAEL CHE - "After the US launched airstrikes against ISIS forces this week, President Obama spoke at the UN and urged Muslim countries to join in the fight against ISIS. In fact, Obama is so desperate to get Muslim countries on board, he's started using his middle name again."

CHE - "Hillary Clinton recently fueled speculation that she may run for president when she made an appearance in Iowa and said, "Hello Iowa, I'm back." Though if I remember 2008 correctly, that's not as effective as saying, "Hello Iowa, I'm black.""

"WEEKEND UPDATE" ANCHOR COLIN JOST - "Apple this week announced that a bunch of Chinese factory workers are about to get carpal tunnel."

JOST - "In other Apple news, the company has strengthened security for its iCloud storage service in response to the recent hacking of celebrity nude photos. But if you really don't want anyone to see your naked photos, you could just hide them in that free U2 album."

JOST - "Congratulations to Chelsea Clinton who gave birth to a baby girl on Friday. And new grandmother Hillary Clinton said she couldn't be any happier unless the baby was a Latina in a swing state."

JOST - "Actor Cuba Gooding Jr., who was participating in a "Shoot The Puck" competition during intermission of a Chicago Blackhawks pre-season game, screamed and ripped off his shirt after making a goal. It was the kind of display that reminded us why it's been awhile since anyone showed him the money."

CHE - "Tomorrow will mark the final major league baseball game for Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter. Jeter retires after 20 seasons, 260 home runs, over 3400 hits, and all the ass."

CHE - "A writer for ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK said that working on the show made her realize that she was gay - while watching what goes on in that women's prison reminded me that I am not."

CHE - "Detroit Lions linebacker Stephen Tulloch is out for the year after tearing a knee ligament while celebrating a sack against the Green Bay Packers. It's a horrific on field incident that the NFL is calling "our best news in weeks."

CHE - "Officials with the Staten Island Zoo are denying reports that a groundhog used in this year's Groundhog Day ceremony died after Mayor Bill de Blasio dropped it. Said officials, "It was really more the stepping on it."

JOST - "A shepherd in Germany has discovered a rare "geep," which is a sheep-goat hybrid. It's believed to be the first sheep-goat hybrid to be discovered since Kid Rock."

JOST - "A California teacher resigned after she talked in class about programming robots to shoot and kill students. Her resignation should give her more time at home to work on her army of killer robots."

JOST - "A Mexican woman thought to be the oldest person in the world reportedly turned 127 on Sunday. Despite her age, she said she's still 'Livin' La Vida Kill Me.'"

JOST - "A new study shows that Beaumont, Texas is the least educated city in the country. Oh man, wait until they don't read about this."

CHE - "It was revealed that Tyler Perry is expecting his first child with his girlfriend. Perry is reported to be very excited about being a grandmother. Perry says he doesn't care if it's a boy or a girl as long as it has 'Tern Fangers urn Tern Ters.'"

For more information on "Saturday Night Live," visit

Michael Che joins Colin Jost as co-anchor of "Weekend Update" for the 40th season of "SNL."

Named one of Rolling Stone's 50 Funniest People, Buzzfeed's 50 Hottest Men in Comedy and Variety's Top 10 Comics to Watch, Che has been a writer on "SNL," a correspondent on "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" and has performed stand-up on "Late Night with Seth Meyers" and "Late Show with David Letterman." His first comedy special was Comedy Central's "The Half Hour," which aired earlier this year.

Che is a native of Manhattan and currently resides in the city. His birthday is May 19.

Related Articles View More TV Stories

From This Author TV News Desk