Supporting Audra's joke about being raped on-stage.- Page 5

[JuliesPoolie]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:17pm

Just read this. A girl decided never to tell her partner she didn't want to have sex with him. In fact, she said yes, even though she didn't want to. Read the comments from people. To expect him to read her mind is just ridiculous. Women need to own up to their own choices. She had every right to say "no" on various occasions. He claims if she had he would have never taken advantage of her. However, in the aftermath, he feels like he raped her. And in the comments people agree that he did because he should have known she didn't want to do it.

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-accidental-rapist/

Updated On: 6/11/12 at 09:17 PM

[SporkGoddess]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:18pm

JuliesPoolie: No one is obligated to have sex 100% of the time that a person wants it. If a man divorces a woman for that, IMO it still makes him a jerk but at least he's not a rapist. And as for your point about women not always saying "no," that is what started the "yes means yes" movement. Basically, men should assume that a woman does not want to have sex unless she explicitly says so. Doesn't that make sense?

Also, did you know that women get blamed more for rape if they fight back? But they also get blamed if they don't fight because they 'didn't try hard enough.' So you have to fight back the perfect amount, or else you were asking for it either by fighting back too hard or not hard enough!

Btw, women get blamed for rape more if they are drunk. Men get blamed less for raping a woman if they are drunk. And you know why it's considered rape if a woman is drunk? Because she can't legally consent.

Sorry, but sexual assault research is NOT on your side.

Updated On: 6/11/12 at 09:18 PM

[JuliesPoolie]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:20pm

If they are BOTH drunk then how can the male be held responsible for her bad decision??? They are both intoxicated. Again, this is not right. If they both were drunk and both consented, how is it still the male's responsibility?

Think of how many times frat boys wake up next to ugly girls regretting it. Maybe they should claim "rape" too.

[Kelly2]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:21pm

Julie,
You're not answering my question. Someone cited the correct statistic that only 7-9% of rape reports are falsified in some way. So please explain to me why we should penalize, blame, and shame 91% of honest victims who have been through something traumatic because of that small of a margin of "error"? Who wins by doing that? Anecdotal evidence is not enough to punish millions of women who have been through any kind of sexual assault.

[blaxx]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:22pm

I feel raped by this thread.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:28pm

I was gonna post some big long thing, but whateves. If what'shername up there is gonna link to Hugo frigging Schwizer in the middle of gender politcs at BWW, I'm gonna balance it out a little bit with a Hugo Schwizer Primer.


http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/hugo-schwyzers-phony-feminism/

http://tigerbeatdown.com/2012/01/12/hugo-schwyzer-wants-to-jizz-on-the-face-of-feminism-but-not-why-you%E2%80%99d-think/



Tiger Beatdown

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:30pm

Here's a good comment from Miss Lady's link.

You were not an accidental rapist, you were in a relationship with a girl who had problems communicate her feelings about sex, and you didn’t pick up on it, so she told you about it, and now you are overwhelmed with misdirected guilt and shame and, frankly, being kind of a drama queen.

I mean. HONESTLY.

[JuliesPoolie]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:30pm

Actually, if you research you can find that those numbers are incorrect and that somewhere between 25% and 50% of rape accusations are false with most studies citing the number in the 40s.

http://www.theforensicexaminer.com/archive/spring09/15/

http://lawprofessors.typepad.com/crimprof_blog/2004/12/2_false_rape_st.html

http://www.angryharry.com/esMostRapeAllegationsAreFalse.htm

http://www.falserape.net/falserapeafa.htm

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100415054726AAnFGVC

[SporkGoddess]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:33pm

Thanks, Phyllis, I hate Hugo Schwizer.

Also, when both parties are drunk, our society does tend to blame the man. But that's because we are not on equal footing. Our culture justifies and even encourages that women are for the taking. Yes, men are sexually assaulted and it is horrible, but they are less at risk for sexual assault than we are.

As for the drunk men, they will have plenty of people to make excuses for them. Heck, they will even if they were sober. You're not cheering for the underdog here, Julie.

[Kelly2]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:34pm

"Actually, if you research you can find that those numbers are incorrect and that somewhere between 25% and 50% of rape accusations are false with most studies citing the number in the 40s."

No.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:36pm

SHE NEVER CALLED IT RAPE IT THAT STORY.


Anyhoo, as far as rape jokes go, I've made them, but I do find them mostly gross. And, like any controversial jokes, your audience, intentions and context all matter. AIDS jokes squick me out, too, but I had cancer and made cancer jokes all the time, so whatever.

The audience (although apparently I'm giving some of the at home audience too much credit), intentions and context of what Audra's quip should really mitigate any controversy. There shouldn't be any controversy. What people should be talking about is how she has won five Tony awards and how awesome she is.

Updated On: 6/11/12 at 09:36 PM

[JuliesPoolie]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:36pm

I'm not cheering for the perceived underdog, you're right. I am a strong woman who takes care of herself. I don't let gender stereotypes invade how I see other people and I look at everyone as a human being... not as a male or female who needs to be treated differently.

Why favor the drunk woman over the drunk man? That's ridiculous. Unless she said no (or he for that matter), they both need to own up for their bad decisions. No one cares if a drunk driver is male or female when they run over and kill your small child. Why the distinction here?

[blaxx]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:38pm

What does this have to do with the Tonys again?

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:39pm

Well, you're entitled to feel any way you want. Feminism is all about letting everyone make their own choices, even if they are inane.

[JuliesPoolie]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:39pm

Kelly,

"Twenty-seven percent (27%) of these complainants admitted they had fabricated their accusation just before taking the polygraph or right after they failed the test. (It should be noted that whenever there was any doubt, the unresolved case was re-classified as a "proven" rape.) Combining this 27% with the initial 212 "disproved" cases, it was determined that approximately 45% of the total rape allegations were false."

And that's only from the first link I provided.

[Kelly2]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:40pm

I can't think of any way to respond to that besides a rape joke.

So now I'm going to go slap my wrist and leave this thread.

[SporkGoddess]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:43pm

Of the links you posted, only one is credible and unbiased. The Bruce Gross study only talks about how most of the research on false rape reports is flawed, particularly because false rape report is difficult to operationally define. If you are referring to the Kanin study, it is highly flawed.

And as for why women are given the benefit of the doubt by our law more, because drunk driving does not target women more than men.

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:52pm

"Rape" is the new "Racism"! Look how sensitive we are, evwybody!

[kidbroadway2]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:57pm

It was an unfortunate slip for certain people who it may have offended. I don't see how she could do her role so well without having a level of empathy/understanding for rape victims. For me, this isn't that big of a deal. People have said similar jokes with their friends/family I'm sure with whatever topic (not just rape). A mistake, but not a big deal IMO.

[Kelly2]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 9:59pm

I am WAY more offended by sh*t like this:

""Rape" is the new "Racism"! Look how sensitive we are, evwybody!"

Than by anything Audra said. Mostly a sign the joke didn't work but the attitude isn't helping.

[My Oh My]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 10:01pm

Talk about making a whole lotta something out of nothing.

Y'all don't get it.

It's as if you all took the word "nothing" in my comment above and went wild claiming I just said rape is "nothing," a non-issue, no big deal, whatev, who cares?, funny ha-ha!

Even though I absolutely did not say anything of the sort. Not even close.

For the last time, Audra did not even come close to making a joke about rape. But carry on getting worked up over "a joke about rape" that was never said.

[blaxx]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 10:03pm

It wasn't a joke , it was a fact! The character gets raped every night!

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 10:16pm

I don't know who My Oh My is admonishing, because no one was even talking about Audra by that point, but about all the weirdness that that JulieSpoolie creature was bringing.

I think sensitiveness to people's sensitiveness is the new sensitivities!

[Jay Lerner-Z]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 10:17pm

^Do they have a cream for that?

[My Oh My]

Posted: 6/11/12 at 10:19pm

There was a whole lot of "joke" this, "joke" that being thrown around.

I'm offended, of course!