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Lyric Watch: Neil Patrick Harris' Bigger Opening Number!

The casts of KINKY BOOTS, PIPPIN, MATILDA and many more shows and entertainers joined host Neil Patrick Harris on last night's broadcast of the 67th Annual Tony Awards on CBS. Below, we bring you the lyrics to his BIG opening number!

Alright, Alright, it's only this next singer's fourth time singing in this pub. So, cut him some slack. He's singing something new.

NPH:

Hi, uh, I'm Neil. I wouldn't be here if someone else hadn't passed on hosting, so special thanks to Shia LaBeouf for this opportunity.


I can break your heart

with a work of art

and a song that's quiet and small

but we're back where we began it all

Radio City Music Hall

So tonight we might go bigger

That's right it's bigger

It's Broadway's greatest night and we're raring to go

Let's make it bigger, tonight it's bigger

Who will take home a Tony statue we don't know

I guarantee a truly legendary show

The season's new recruits includes the cast of Kinky Boots

You know they're beautiful and buff as Navy Seals.

And you can bounce a quarter off the ass of Billy Porter,

Lord, he does 8 shows a week in eight inch heels.

Hats off to Berry Gordy, he runs Motown like a boss,

He dominates Top 40 and banged Diana Ross.

He wrote his own libretto, which is really kind of ballin'

He took every Motown classic and he said 'I'll put em all in.'

Make it bigger, that's right it's bigger.

I just learned this dance like half an hour ago.

We're going bigger, like so much bigger,

You ever seen so many divas in a row? (Hell no)

Well stick with me cause your MC's a seasoned pro. (Go Neil Go!)

It's Pippin! Never slippin, always flippin' from their corner of the sky

But the sky is overcrowded with this oh so highly touted

cast of singing circus people flying by.

The cast of Bring It On had count em thirty-two debuts.

Hey, kids, welcome to Broadway, forget your Union dues.

In tandem like we planned em, forgive me if it's random,

but Mike Tyson had a one man show, let's give the man a hand

And make things bigger (Tyson: It's bigger!) That's right it's bigger,

I'm here with Iron Mike, he's a heavyweight, yo.

We're going bigger, the night is bigger,

We've got cheerleaders, contortionists and so.

Don't change the channel to our show. (Go, Neil, Go!)

The magical Matilda stole the show and nearly killed us

so they got a special Tony of their own.

This strikes at the achilles of the jaded former Billys,

they get Tony's but they're fired when the're grown.

Now here's the kids from Christmas Story, Annie, and her orphans.

So many child actors high on Red Bull and endorphins.

They barely come up to your knees, but God they're singing like MVPs

and they're the reason this whole season seems to look like Chuck E. Cheese

And geez it's bigger, that's right it's bigger.

Is there a Tony day care where all of you go?

You're getting bigger, the night is bigger.

Do your parents set aside your Broadway dough? (Heck, No)

When I played Doogie, never mind on with the show. (Go, Neil, Go!)

Oh, Broadway's where famous people go.

But being famous doesn't mean that you will get a good review.

So, Alec write Ben Brantley if you want. That's entertaining too.

We've got magic to do.

Bigger, that's right it's bigger.

I'm walking down the aisle with some Newsies in tow.

You know it's bigger, so much bigger,

if there's a Newsie you prefer just let me know.

You'll get a Newsie in your gift bag when you go.

(Spoken: That's true, there's like 150 of those punks. Oh wait, check this out. Can I have my Tom Hooper Les Mis close-up, please? See, on Broadway we don't need extreme close-ups to prove we're singing live. We sing live eight shows a week, check it!)

(Rapped) At the end of the day we are gathered together to honor the best and the brightest.

And the tomorrow the fashion police will report on your dress and who wore it the tightest.

If you win have the time of your life tell your manager, Dad, and your Mom thanks.

Hi to you kids and your husband or wife, maybe just for the hell of it, Tom Hanks.

Nothing is bigger and better than seeing a veteran get an ovation.

Or seeing a brilliant beginner freak out when a win on their first nomination.

There's a kid in the middle of nowhere who's sitting and living for Tony performances

singing and flipping along with the Pippins and Wiggits and Kinkys, Matildas and Mormons-es.

So we might reassure that kid

and do something to spur that kid,

cause I promise you all of us up here tonight,

we were that kid and now:

We're bigger, tonight it's bigger,

so let's create the biggest spectacle we know.

Come see the super sexy Cinderellas, sisters celebrating.

Ladies, grab a fellow, the tempo is accelerating.

Spidey, Pippin, Motown bands, and Kinky Rock Of Ages.

Chicago, Bring It On, and Christmas Story sharing stages.

Mamma Mia, Lion King, the Jersey Boys are tappin'.

Kathy Lee's a Broadway lyricist, so anything can happen.

Bigger! New York is Bigger!

So welcome to our bigger, better, best of Broadway Tony show.


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