BWW Interviews - Selma Gives the Real Scoop Behind ABC's THE BACHELOR
THE BACHELOR, ABC, Reality TV
Selma Alameri, 29, a real estate developer from San Diego, CA, was enthralled with her one-on-one date with Sean when the day began with a limousine ride and a private jet. But soon thereafter, she was shocked to find them in a daring rock climbing escapade amid the desert landscape of the Joshua Tree National Park in Twenty-nine Palms, California. Despite Selma having reservations about getting intimate with Sean -- she did not want to disappoint her mother -- she captured a rose at the conclusion of a romantic dinner. Now as Selma continues her quest to win Sean's heart in the fifth week, she will find herself with the 10 remaining bachelorettes in picturesque Whitefish, Montana. She is hoping to take another step in the ultimate goal of receiving the last rose and getting past all of the drama, as Sean questions whether he will find his soul mate among these women.
Explosive drama and surprise eliminations mark a two-night BACHELOR special event, which kicks off tonight, February 4 (8:00-10:01 P.M., ET) and continues on a special night and time on Tuesday, February 5 (9:00-11:00 P.M., ET). In a recent phone conversation, Selma gave the inside scoop on her one-on-one date with Sean and what really goes down when the cameras stop rolling!
Do you think the fact that your family's strict values, the fact that they didn't want you kissing someone on TV, put you at a disadvantage? And if so, does that mean Sean wouldn't be the guy for you?
I did feel like it did put me at a disadvantage. I was afraid of that coming into it and I explained that to my family also. I was like you know I'm going there to win someone's heart so all these other woman can show their affection and I can't. You know I'm afraid that he's going to take it as I don't really like him. But at the end of the day Sean is just such an amazing man that he totally understood and it really didn't matter. So, you know, I did feel it would put me at a disadvantage but end of the day no I don't think it did.
You told the cameras during Monday night's episode that you weren't planning on kissing Sean until you were the last woman standing. Were you kind of joking about that or completely serious? f you made it all the way to the end, would you literally hold out on kissing Sean until that final moment of the season?
At that moment, I was kind of saying what I thought I was going to do - like I want to hold out and I was just rolling with the punches. I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't know if I was going to end up kissing him or if I wasn't, because things change. Life happens, you know?
You don't know - you act on emotion. You don't know what is going to happen. So, for that moment, yeah, I really did mean it saying it. But you'll have to wait and see, you know, what ended up happening.
In his blog, CHRIS HARRISON said you wanted to kiss Sean and really didn't necessarily seem to believe that dating publicly is wrong nor is kissing, but you felt compelled just out of respect for your parents and their beliefs to refrain from kissing Sean. Did you develop a slight feeling of resentment or regret as the season progressed.
No, no I 'm the type of person who never regrets anything I do. Honestly I feel like everything is meant to happen. But I -- I really don't believe that showing affection in public is a bad thing like my mom does. But you know at the end of the day she is my mother and she had one simple request. She didn't mind that I was going to do the show, which is huge in our culture. You know, it's big enough to just be going on a dating show but her one request just please just don't make out with him on television, don't be that girl, you know. So to me it was honestly a simple request and I needed to test Sean to see if he would respect my family and my culture as well, you know.
Because we do have just strong culture, you know, and my family is so big in my life so it was sort of a test for him as well and you know it was a huge test for me to see if I could resist even, you know.
A lot has been said about whether or not someone with the values that you obviously exhibited on Monday night that this is the right place for you. Did you ever regret going on the show?
Well my thoughts on that was my family didn't say don't show emotion and don't fall in love. They simply said do not make out with somebody on television. You know, so to me I don't need to make out with a man to know whether I like him or to know whether our lives are going in the same path and whether I can see a future with him. It's more so, you know, his Touch his -- his caring, the way he looks at me, that's really what matters at the end of the day not making out with him. So no, I was like I can easily fall in love with him and without having to make out with him, you know.
Really I feel like he thought yes I could tell whether I could be with this girl for the rest of my life or not without having to make out with her either because I saw it in his eyes, you know. He could easily see himself falling in love with somebody without having to physically, you know, do it.
If say you do end up with Sean in the end, is he someone that could even fit in with your family? Would be accepted because he's obviously grown up fairly differently than you.
I's funny because yeah my brother-in-law is actually blonde hair, blue eyes, a catholic, very American and our family is American. We do live the American culture, you know, we do date. It's not like we don't. My mom clearly knows we do. My mom knows I've kissed a boy before, but and she's very goofy and loving and we do very normal things.
But it was more so just for the people that, you know, that is in our (inaudible) circle. She was like, you know, I just don't want them to have to talk about us, I don't want, you know, I don't want to give them ammo and, you know, for them to think that you guys are bad Girls like. But in our family, clearly we date, my sister is married to an American boy and it's not -- it's not he would have fit right in. And all my other sisters, you know, they have boyfriends, they're all American.
Every guy I've ever dated is American, so he would have definitely fit right in. You know he just had to stand the test of time for that moment.
I was so impressed with the way you scrambled up that steep cliff. It appeared at the beginning that you had a fear of heights and that it wasn't going to happen and then you got right up there. I was just wondering what that experience was like.
You know it's so funny because they don't show a whole lot of how scared I really was. I was like freaking out I was so nervous because I really do have a fear of heights and I'd never been rock climbing before and I mean I do love adventure and I hike all the time but to go climb a vertical hundred foot rock, I was at the bottom of that thing staring at it like I don't even know where you want me to start.
And I'm looking at him like if I survive this you would be lucky if I still like you after this. But at the end of the day it was like survival mode and I literally just hauled ass up that rock. I was like I can't even think about anything, I can't think about where I am, what I'm doing. I just blocked it out of my mind and just started crawling like go team go.
And when I got up there I never loved Sean so much because he really did at that moment everyone is like oh he should have given you the glamour date and I'm like no way. He really gave me a chance to prove to the world that like you know I'm more than just a glamour girl, because I am. I actually -- I'm in gym clothes my whole life, you know.
So I was really really happy and I really did love him so much for giving me the opportunity to prove myself that way.
It seems a bit unfair that some Girls get the 'glamour dates' as you called them and others have to jump off the top of a skyscraper or do what you did and I was just wondering if you thought that that was fair.
I think it's totally fair. I didn't mind it one bit. I loved it as a matter of fact because for him to have taken me on a glamour date it would have been so cliché. Oh take the glamour girl on a glamour date, please. You know like think of something like exciting, be a little more clever than that. But I mean taking an Iraqi to the desert, I don't know. I was like OK.
But I mean I honestly I do think it's fair, I think that he does it -- he picks certain Girls for certain things just to kind of test them and that's the whole point of the dates. You want to test the person you're with you want to see if this is going to work for them because these are probably things that he would do on a daily basis and he wants to see can this girl handle that.
OK let's take this girl to a glamour date and see if she could handle that you know, if this is something she would like doing. So honestly I think it's very smart that he takes them out of their element and kind of tests them a little bit.
Who did you get along with best at the house you said you kind of kept to yourself but was there one particular girl that you got along with well?
You know I didn't like keep to myself I just kept away from the drama. I actually got along with all the girls. I -- I really did but I would have to say I was closest with AshLee. You know her and I were sort of the oldest ones in the house. She might kill me for saying that, but we were so we -- we got a long best but I really did enjoy all the Girls that lived in the house. They were all amazing. Well, with the exception of one.