BWW Blog: We Are Only Human

I'm not perfect. I never will be. I definitely want to be, but I need to stop trying to be. I share this because I just got out of my acting class and I'm laying on my bed reflecting on my day. As someone with social anxiety this is a pretty normal thing.

Today, I did something completely out of my comfort zone. I interviewed someone in front of the whole class. Now, that may not seem like a big deal, and honestly, I thought it wasn't. I thought I had it in the bag! I'm an actor which means I'm supposed to talk to people for a living. This wasn't the first time I had interviewed someone for crying out loud! However, my body let me know that this was indeed a huge deal, and I started sweating, profusely, the entire time. TMI? Well, this is my blog so I'm allowed to be real and vulnerable for a second. Please, let me have my moment. That was a joke, I'm dramatic not a diva. Anyway, back to my story. All of a sudden, I was very nervous and at the time I didn't understand why. Honestly, I wanted to cry when it was over as I didn't feel that I did my best. A feeling that I've grown way to familiar with since pursuing my BFA. For a long time, I didn't understand why my body, occasionally, reacts this way. This encounter was definitely not the first time where I got in my head and felt very anxious; resulting in me not showcasing my best work. As I lay here reflecting, I think I've finally come to a conclusion.

Acting means the world to me. I am so grateful that I get to be a part of such a stellar BFA program and to learn from such motivating professors. Anyone that knows me, knows how serious I take this, and how badly I want to succeed in this industry. That is why it is extremely easy for me to be so hard on myself. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I give my all in absolutely everything that I do, but sometimes I make mistakes. I don't always get things right the first, second or maybe even third try, and that's okay. I'm human.

I think it's important to remember to be forgiving of ourselves. It's okay to not be perfect. This is such a competitive industry filled with tons of talented and hard working individuals. I am one of those individuals too; I seem to forget that sometimes. When you want something so bad, it's easy to get down on yourself when things don't go your way. Honestly, I'm over that. It's time to pick myself up and remember who I am and why I'm here. I am pursuing a BFA in Acting, in hopes of growing as an actor. While I'm pursuing my degree, I am learning from some motivating professors who all want me to succeed. I am also surrounded by like-minded individuals who all share the same passion as me. I've never learned this material from these professors before and I assume neither have my peers. This is all brand new to us, therefore we need to stop being so hard on ourselves. I want my professors, and anyone that knows me or has worked with me, to realize how thankful I am to have these opportunities to learn and grow. I don't want them to ever think I'm taking it for granted.

Writing this blog was very therapeutic for me. I appreciate every single person that has taken the time to read and understand my vulnerable, inner thoughts. It's okay to not be okay sometimes. Be kind to yourself, we are only human.