SANDBAG STAGE LEFT (OR ONE DEAD DOLLY) - Arts Center Theatre Non Equity Auditions

“Sandbag Stage Left (or One Dead Dolly)”

by John Anthony

Auditions: October 18, 2026

2pm to 5pm

Show Runs: March 4-21, 2027

Arts Center Theatre at Marco Town Center

Director Marlene Strollo

The members of the Mill City Players are besides themselves over the mysterious death of their leading lady, Amelia Meddle, who during a performance, was cruelly squashed by a flying sandbag. All fingers point to her husband, undertaker Arnold Meddle, who was seen wandering around backstage just before the sailing sandbag hit pay dirt. It’s mud-slinging galore between Defense lawyer Philip Static and Prosecutor Emily Cling. Meanwhile, one by one the members of the Mill City players take the stand to implicate Arnold Meddle knowing about his jealous nature and Amelia’s flirtations with Mill City lead actor Byron Shelley. This, claims the Prosecution, provides Arnold with his motive. But Arnold contends he is innocent, but who could crush such a lovely woman under a pile of dirt and burlap? Mill City Stage Manager Gretel Van Cistern? Sexy actress Shelley Shelley? Arnold’s mousy Assistant Embalmer Edwena “Chuck” Bury? Or Medical Examiner Salvatore Soo, whom, we discover in a startling revelation, is related to the manufacturer of the deadly sandbag? It’s the case of the century, (or at least this past week), under the steady gavel of Judge Royale Been, who presides over a jury of audience members, called for duty when the Judge dismisses the original jury for not inviting him/her to their party.

Author takes no responsibility for personal injury which may occur when audience members roll in the aisles with laughter.

Sandbag, Stage Left is a parody of serious courtroom dramas such as Witness for the Prosecution, Twelve Angry Men and Night of January 16th.

Bailiff – Goofy, clumsy, physically awkward, but very likable. Male or female, 30-80

Judge Roy L. Been – Doesn’t like the courtroom turning into a circus; loathes the unfolding events. Male preferred, 50-80

Mr. Static / Defense Attorney – Dresses poorly, not bright, with weird mannerisms. Male, 40-75

Ms. Cling / Prosecuting Attorney – Newbie lawyer trying to make a name; bad hair but sexy. Female, late 20s–60

Prison Guard – Former military, rigid, by the book. Male or female, any age.

Arnold Meddle / Mortician / The Accused – Unfazed about being on trial; an odd individual. Male, mid-30s-50

Salvatore Soo / Medical Examiner – Efficient and thorough, but does he have a motive? Male, mid-40s-65

Gretel Van Cistern / Stage Manager – Takes things literally; unfeminine. Reluctantly comes out of the closet. Female, mid-40s.

Ginger Rayle / Gold-Digger – Petite, cute, obnoxious; loves chewing gum, big hair, tight clothes, speaks with a NYC accent. Early to mid-20s.

Mrs. Byron Shelley / Socialite – Comes from money; “separate lives” with her husband; must sound like a snob. Female, mid-50s-70.

Edwena Bury / Assistant to Arnold Meddle – Sweet, in love with Meddle; provides crucial evidence. Female, mid 30’s-50.

Penelope Pacemaker / Director – Eccentric, die-hard theatre person; 50s-70

Harriet Beecher Meddle / Arnold’s Mother – Tough, street-smart, blunt, “bag lady”, scripted to smoke prop cigarettes. Female, 65-85.

Dora Glockamorra / Aspiring Actress – Admires older middle-aged men; speaks with a southern (but not hillbilly) accent; bonus if “theatre cry” skills are strong. Female, 30-something.

Mr. Byron Shelley / Actor – Pompous blowhard; everything over-the-top. Male, mid-50s-75.

Gus Swenson / the lovable Doorman– So old that death is tired of waiting on him; good for body language and facial expressions. Male, age 75+.

Download sides online at
https://www.marcoislandart.org/arts-center-theatre-audition/