You have to hand it to ABC; if you're going to stretch a results show that should take all of five minutes to fill an hour, it's a respectable and classy thing to bring something to the show that really matters.
No week of DANCING WITH THE STARS is complete without at least one gross hyperbole, so thank goodness this week's results show opened with a tacky montage of the stars warning that "last night they celebrated the best year of their lives, but for one start tonight will be the worst night.
How do you follow up the delightful, glittering spectacle of nostalgia and shirtlessness that is prom night, you ask? With a heavy dose of sappy sentimentality, of course - and when that doesn't work, a bit more shirtlessness.
It may only be week two, but DANCING WITH THE STARS is already in full swing with enough walk-outs, breakdowns and resolve-shaking injuries to fuel a finale.