Skip to main content Skip to footer site map

BWW Exclusive: A Comedian At The Oscars Demo Recording

BroadwayWorld.com is pleased to bring you this demo recording of "A Comedian At The Oscars" performed by Marc Shaiman. Last week during the big night in Hollywood, Shaiman played piano while Will Ferrell, Jack Black and John C. Reilly kept the crowd in stitches at the beginning of the telecast. The song was orchestrated for the Oscars telecast by Larry Blank. Enjoy this exclusive "behind the scenes" recording featuring music by Marc Shaiman; Lyrics by Judd Apatow, Adam McKay and Marc Shaiman. The song will begin automatically and a copy of the lyrics are below - so feel free to sing along!

"A COMEDIAN AT THE OSCARS"
Music by Marc Shaiman
Lyrics by Judd Apatow, Adam McKay and Marc Shaiman

Will Ferrell is discovered onstage at a piano, forlorn and mopey.

WILL
A COMEDIAN AT THE OSCARS
THE SADDEST MAN OF ALL
YOUR MOVIES MAY MAKE MILLIONS
BUT YOUR NAME THEY'LL NEVER CALL

I GUESS YOU DON'T LIKE LAUGHTER
AND A SMILE BRINGS YOU DOWN
A COMEDIAN AT THE OSCARS
IS THE SADDEST, BITTEREST, ALCOHOLIC CLOWN

Suddenly, Jack Black emerges from the wings.

WILL (cont'd)
"Jack Black!"

JACK
WHAT DID YOU THINK?
WHEN YOU TOOK OFF YOUR PANTS?
AND YOU RAN AROUND THAT RACETRACK
AND YOU DID THAT SILLY DANCE?
WHAT DID YOU THINK?

WILL
I THOUGHT THEY'D LOVE ME

JACK
WHAT DID YOU THINK?
THAT YOU COULD CHANGE THEIR WICKED GAME?
DID YOU THINK WHEN YOU MADE "ANCHORMAN"
THEY WOULDN'T CALL IT LAME?

WILL
I THOUGHT I'D GET TO HAVE DINNER WITH JEREMY IRONS

JACK
WE MAY NOT WIN TONIGHT
BUT WE SHALL WIN THE ULTIMATE FIGHT
AND I DON'T MEAN THAT AS A METAPHOR,
I MEAN LITERALLY I AM GONNA FIGHT ALL THE NOMINESS

WILL
"That didn't rhyme"

JACK
"Forget it! Leo, you think you can date hot models and win awards? Well I'm gonna elbow you in the larynx."

WILL
"RYANN GOSSLING you're all hip and now well I'm gonna break your hip right now!"

JACK
"PETER O'TOOLE, all legendary and English.  I don't care!  I'm gonna beat you down with my MTV Movie Award!"

WILL
"MARK WAHLBERG, uh, I won't mess with you. You actually are kind of a bad ass.  Once again, I hope we're cool and you are very talented."

JACK
"And HELEN MIRREN, you're just hot. What party are you going to?"

Suddenly, John C. Reilly stands up at his seat

JOHN
"Fellas, fellas!"

WILL & JACK
John C. Reilly!!

JOHN
THIS MADNESS MUST STOP
THERE IS NO NEED TO FEAR
YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO
JUST LOOK AT MY CAREER!

(to Will) I DIDN'T CRY THE BLUES
(To Jack) I DIDN'T PICK SILLY FIGHTS
I CHOSE TO BE IN BOTH "BOOGIE"
AND"TALLADEGA NIGHTS"!

John hits a big high note and bounds towards the stage

JOHN (cont'd)
AA-AAHHH!!!
DON'T JUST BE CLOWNS
CAUSE THEN YOU'RE JUST BORES
MIX IT UP
AND OSCAR SHALL BE YOURS!!!!

JACK
"He's right! I'm going to re-read that script about the guy who gets lead poisoning and tries to sue a major corporation! There's not a laugh in there!"

WILL
"And I'm going to take that project about the guy with no arms or legs who teaches gangbangers Hamlet!"

JOHN
"Now you're talking!"

WILL
I'M GOING TO LOSE FORTY POUNDS
TO PLAY RALPH NADER!!!

JACK
I'M GOING TO DO THAT GAY COAL MINER FILM
WITH JAMES SPADER!!!

WILL
"I love him!"

ALL
SO ANTHONY HOPKINS YOU CAN LAUGH
BUT SOMEDAY SOON, YOU'LL SEE
HELEN MIRREN AND AN OSCAR
WILL BE COMING HOME WITH ME!
WITH ME!!
HELEN MIRREN WILL BE COMING HOME WITH ME!!!!


Featured at the Theatre Shop

T-Shirts, Mugs, Phone Cases & More

Related Articles

More Hot Stories For You