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re: Excerpts from Kathleen Turner's autobiography

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Pippin
Broadway Legend
joined:8/3/05
allright!! sue me.

Maybe not the oscars. It's whatever award show has tables- most likely the Globes.
"I'm an American, Damnit!!! And if it's three things I don't believe in, it's quitting and math."
cmleidi
Broadway Star
joined:9/27/03
"I call bullshIt! They don't sit at tables or drink/eat anything at the Oscars."

She was probably referring to the Golden Globes.
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n69n
Broadway Legend
joined:4/30/06
dont be callin bullsh!t on my woman!!!
i want to make thngs that count
- George, SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE
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n69n
Broadway Legend
joined:4/30/06
i just came from Kathleen Turner's appearance @ Lincoln Center Barnes & Noble!

She was fabulous & gorgeous & hilarious!

it was set up as an "in conversation" kind of thing, with Kathleen and Gloria Feldt of Planned Parenthood, who was her collaborator on the book.

they told stories about working on the book...the editor freaked when she saw the number of "f***s" in the book. Kathleen bellowed, "so I said, "well, how many "f***s" can i have?!?!? so she gave me a certain number of f***s and, honey, i used all of 'em!"

they talked about when she first came to nyc: "$100 in my pocket...& I thought I was rich!!!"

she read two excerpts form the book; one about the filming of BODY HEAT and another about coming to terms with her father's death. when she was a teenager, her father had suddenly died after she had had an arguement with him and ran out of the house. all of her life, she'd held herself responsible for his death, and thinking that he'd died angry with her.
it wasnt until recently that her mother had read her retelling of this story in a magazine & set her straight; he hadnt died angry at her! he was laughing when he told her mother about the fight and had said "she's got to do her own thing!" & it wasnt til much later that night that he had died. and all of her life she'd been punishing herself for that! she started tearing up a bit while reading this section.

then there was Q&A (& i was embarrassed by the audience; it was mostly creepy straight guys who you know have been beatin' off over her all these years).

then we lined up to get our books signed. i'd brought a dozen roses & she boomed "OH HOW LOVELY!" & i was like "thank you for everything, i'll love you forever!" & i thanked Gloria Feldt for her work with Planned Parenthood, grabbed my book & ran out.

....

ok, this is the second part of the story & tells why i ran out so quickly.

when i go to these Lincoln Center Barnes & Noble events, i always joke about how they smell like leaky Depends™...because the audience is all old old OLD people who may not be as attentive to hygeine as some might hope.

well, i was sitting next to an old man who reaked of pee. it was really overwhelming. & when he stood up, i realized leaky Depends™ wasnt a joke; his pants were all wet, his seat was all wet...& my pants leg was all wet!!!!!
i had felt moisture on my leg during the talk, but i just thought it was sweat, because we were packed in so tightly & it was very hot in there! BUT NO, IT WAS HOT PEE!!!!!!

so i handed the roses to Kathleen Turner as fast as i could, hoping she would just smell the roses & not the old man pee on me!!!!

& i raced home & took a scalding hot shower!!



i can still smell the pee!!!!
i want to make thngs that count
- George, SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE
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miss pennywise
Broadway Legend
joined:4/7/04
OMG, Norn! YOU should write a book!!! That was hilarious!!
"Be on your guard! Jerks on the loose!"

http://www.roches.com/television/ss83kod.html

**********

"If any relationship involves a flow chart, get out of it...FAST!"

~ Best12Bars
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mmousefan
Leading Actor
joined:2/14/08
I've met, oddly enough, Turner's mother. What a classy lady...very southern, oddly enough. You can kind of tell that is where La Turner's grace comes from. So cool she can mix it with all that ballsy attitude at will....
just keep swimming along, don't rise to the....
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miss pennywise
Broadway Legend
joined:4/7/04
Norn, I read your story of the "hot pee" aloud to Caldwell B. Cladwell, and tears were streaming down my face. I could hardly get the words out. He said, "At least Norn didn't say, 'I'd love to stay and chat some more with you, Ms. Turner, but an old man peeed on me.'"

"Be on your guard! Jerks on the loose!"

http://www.roches.com/television/ss83kod.html

**********

"If any relationship involves a flow chart, get out of it...FAST!"

~ Best12Bars
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n69n
Broadway Legend
joined:4/30/06
I CAN STILL SMELL IT!!!!!
i want to make thngs that count
- George, SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE
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Kitzarina
Broadway Legend
joined:11/2/03
I can't wait to read this book! Meeting Kathleen during her London stint in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" was one of the highlights of my entire trip. It's amazing how she can even make the sentence, "So you're from Kansas?" sound sexy.

Sorry about the old man pee, norn. I wish there was a more delicate way to phrase that, but I truly feel your pain. Disgusting.
"You're the worst thing to happen to musical theatre since Andrew Lloyd Webber!" --Family Guy

"Shut up! It's been 29 years!!!" --the incomparable Patti LuPone in her MUCH DESERVED Tony acceptance speech for Gypsy.

Kitzy's Avatar du Jour: Kitzy as Little Red Ridinghood in her college's production of "Into the Woods"
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n69n
Broadway Legend
joined:4/30/06
Sometimes I go to Washington to meet with members of Congress and lobby on issues. I'm pretty good at excercising the diplomatic aspect to confrontation. Though, I did almost sock the late Strom Thurmond once. I really came so ****ing close. I went with Joseph Papp, the late founder of the New York Public Theater, to Washington to lobby for the National Endowment for the Arts. Their funding was on the verge of being completley eviscerated. We were not altogether influential in making our case, because the funding was cut significantly, but at least it still exists.

We met with Senator Thurmond and his committee, explaining why we felt this was a terrible injustice. I said something I deeply believe: What we have left of the societies and civilizations that preceded us, more than any other aspect, is the arts - the paintings, plays, music, architecture. These are the legacy left us, and we must prioritize our arts accordingly, because this is what we will be leaving to the future. To say they are not a neccessary part of our education and our feelings about ourselves is practically criminal to me.

So Strom Thurmond says, "Now, little lady" - which of course pleased me to no end - "Now, little lady, I've been around here a few more years than you, wouldn't you say so, boys? Ha-ha-ha. Little lady, I've always liked blondes. Ah, well, I'm here to tell you that this funding just isn't gonna happen, honey, little lady."

I had my arm cocked back. Thank goodness Joseph Papp grabbed my wrist and pulled it down. But I thought, One more "little lady" and Strom's lost his teeth. Or his dentures or whateve the hell they were.

- Kathleen Turner, SEND YOURSELF ROSES, pg 108

i want to make thngs that count
- George, SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE
Updated On: 2/22/08 at 07:01 AM
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mmousefan
Leading Actor
joined:2/14/08
Joe Papp as the "voice of reason"...now THAT's a switch. Thurmond...a mystery to me always. Men like him in my part of the south spent more time at the drugstore lunch counter than in the halls of government.
just keep swimming along, don't rise to the....
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miss pennywise
Broadway Legend
joined:4/7/04
At least he didn't PEE on her!!!
"Be on your guard! Jerks on the loose!"

http://www.roches.com/television/ss83kod.html

**********

"If any relationship involves a flow chart, get out of it...FAST!"

~ Best12Bars
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mmousefan
Leading Actor
joined:2/14/08
at least in DC....
just keep swimming along, don't rise to the....
n69n Profile Photo
n69n
Broadway Legend
joined:4/30/06
i want to make thngs that count
- George, SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE
Updated On: 3/10/08 at 03:50 PM
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MrMidwest
Broadway Legend
joined:2/8/05
"The gods who nurse this universe think little of mortals' cares. They sit in crowds on exclusive clouds and laugh at our love affairs. I might have had a real romance if they'd given me a chance. I loved him, but he didn't love me. I wanted him, but he didn't want me. Then the gods had a spree and indulged in another whim. Now he loves me, but I don't love him." - Cole Porter
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PalJoey
Broadway Legend
joined:3/11/04
That was a blast from the past.
yr pal,
joey




Blocked so far: suestorm, Master Bates
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TheatreDiva90016
Broadway Legend
joined:4/10/04
n69n,

Now I know who Kathleen was talking about...
"TheatreDiva90016 - another good reason to frequent these boards less."<<>> “I hesitate to give this line of discussion the validation it so desperately craves by perpetuating it, but the light from logic is getting further and further away with your every successive post.” <<>> -whatever2
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Jungle Red
Broadway Legend
joined:8/13/12
I forgot about n69n!

Those were the days!
"Bill Clinton is the ultimate whore! He stole Madonna's crown." -Jim Colyer, on 10/29/2012

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