The Whodunnit of BWW

[PalJoey]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 12:12pm

Formerly entitled: "What Color-Coded Meltdown Is the 'Storm' Currently Undergoing?"




Here's iflitifloat's old color code:

===

iflitifloat
Broadway Legend
joined:10/10/03
BWW Color Code Alert System
Posted: 11/26/07 at 11:01pm

Time to bring this baby back... I believe the apology thread falls under the Salmon catagory, but since the last several pages seem to have been deleted (black alert), I can't be sure.

BWW COLOR-CODED ALERT SYSTEM

CLASS I ALERTS

BLACKWATCH PLAID: real life drama being played out on the board
BURNT SIENNA: a gang-up on one poster
CADMIUM: blatant shilling
CELADON: all hell has broken loose
CHARTREUSE: mild turbulence, with possibility of escalation
CRIMSON: open hostility and sniping in progress...clear to all that it's happening, but the back story is known to only a few
ELPHIE GREEN: unbridled paranoia
FUSCHIA: a poster is having a meltdown, but will be okay by morning
JAUNDICE: uncommonly nastiness, even by BWW standards
MAGENTA: bitch fight in progress;probability of escalation
MOTTLED: unverified report of demise of another poster.
NEW PHILOSOPHY BROWN: poster is spinning a tale of high drama, most likely faux...
OXBLOOD: homicidal maniac in midst...take cover
PUCE: nothing happening; dull
SAFFRON: private conversation threadjack
UNMELLOW YELLOW: rampant self-deletion
VERMILLION: a poster is having a total meltdown that will have residual effects (like leaving the board or at least a prolonged absence)

***Adding any of the Class II factors to any Class I alert increases chance of a meltdown by 20%***

CLASS II ALERTS: Modifiers

ANTIQUEWHITE: grammar/spelling stickler on the loose
BABYBLUE: the kids are taking over
CHAMPAGNE: celebration in progress
CHESTNUT: assh*le on the loose
CORNFLOWER: sock puppet in midst
GOLDENROD: ridiculous attention grab in process
MAUVE: unexpected appearance of information that was told to someone in confidence (loose lips)
PERIWINKLE: risqué posting
PRESCHOOL PINK: tantrum
QUICKSILVER: passive/aggressive posting with a non-sexual double or deeper meaning aimed at making a point to a certain reader or group of readers
RAW UMBER: a dead horse is being beaten to death...again
SALMON: unbelievable cluelessness
STUCCO: someone seems to be posting while plastered
THISTLE: someone's very touchy
TOMATO: snarkiness

CLASS III ALERTS: Moderator Lunacy
AQUAMARINE: PM warning received
BLACK: thread or post deleted
LILAC: perceived inappropriateness; warning posted
NAN: thread locked


Cross-referenced crib notes:

Class I
All hell: celadon
Bitch fight: magenta
Death rumor: mottled
Faux drama: new philosophy brown
Gang-up: burnt sienna
Homicidal: oxblood
Hostility: crimson
Meltdown, major: vermillion
Meltdown, minor: fuschia
Nastiness: jaundice
Nothing: puce
Real life drama: blackwatch plaid
Thread jack: saffron
Self-deletion: unmellow yellow
Shilling: cadmium
Thread jack: saffron
Turbulance: chartreuse

Class II
Assh*le: chestnut
Attention grab: goldenrod
Celebration: champagne
Clueless: salmon
Dead horse: raw umber
Grammar: antique white
Kids: baby blue
Loose lips: mauve
Paranoia: Elphie green
Passive/aggressive: quicksilver
Plastered: stucco
Porn: periwinkle
Snark: tomato
Sock puppet: cornflower
Tantrum: preschool pink
Touchy: thistle

Class III
Deletion: black
Locked: nan
PM warning: aquamarine
Posted warning: lilac

Updated On: 10/27/14 at 12:12 PM

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 12:15pm

Goldenrod with salmon polka-dots

[PalJoey]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 12:57pm

Definite goldenrod.

[CarlosAlberto]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 12:58pm

LMAO @ with salmon polka dots!!

[Wynbish]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:05pm

Has there ever been a mottled?

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:07pm

Brendan Stryker!

Or are we not counting the deaths of trolls?

[Wynbish]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:10pm

What's the story there?

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:15pm

It might have been the greatest moment in the Board's history. Brendan Stryker was a popular poster because his avatar was totally hot in a corn-fed kinda a way and he was just dumb enough to still be charming.

There was another poster (Beergoggles, was it?) who was 'friends' with him and was told that Brendan was killed in a car accident(tractor accident?). Hideous, right? But the more the story went on, the clearer it became that there was no Brendan Stryker. Someone just found random pics of some random guy on the internet and used them for sock puppetry. The ensuing "memorial" threads were some of the best work on this or any other message board.

Feel free to correct what mistakes I may have made in the story.

Also, did Izzy and her baby die in childbirth? Or was that just my wish in life?

[Jane2]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:21pm

I thought the baby was still alive because it kept posting.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:23pm

'Brendan' had sent me several PM's describing things he wanted to do to me...

He made everyone's pants get a little tighter around here.

[suestorm]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:24pm

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:26pm

'He made everyone's pants get a little tighter around here.'

True. But when you think about who could have been behind that, it makes me want to take a vow of celibacy.

[tazber]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:30pm

Izzy's baby definitely survived, even though he was a preemie.

And I believe it was Beergoggles who was crushing hard on Brendan.

A lot of people thought goggles was a sock puppet also. For my part I think he was (is) a genuine poster who got taken in by the Stryker sock.

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:32pm

^ AND was totally devastated by the news of Brendan's 'death'. Which is totally F*CKed up.

But it was still kinda funny.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:37pm

Robbie, I prefer to think he looked exactly like his picture, and I'm sticking with that.
Her Melt Down Color Code is Rhubarb

[PalJoey]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:46pm

Beergoggles was a sock as well.

[suestorm]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:47pm

i'd hit that...but all the good ones are married or gay lol

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:47pm

Someone now needs to do a Google picture search on him (and maybe N2N) to see who they really are...

[PalJoey]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:50pm

There was this one as well:

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 1:55pm

You could smell the vinegar and water through your screen. But, he did have a certain simple charm.

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 2:00pm

Water and vinegar notwithstanding, this thread is getting off topic.

How about a new code for this one? I'm thinking:

LEAFY GREEN with smears of SH*TSTORM BROWN

[strummergirl]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 2:01pm

I did save the Izzy's Baby page in a document. Tres Cray-cray even in hindsight and distance.

And wow, not even putting up the pretense of being from Ukraine... or Russia.... or just Soviet Russia.

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 2:07pm

I have Stupid Deer to trade for Izzy's Baby!

Do we even believe the meltdown is real?

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 2:10pm

There for a while it was gnashing it's teeth like Linda Blair getting hit with the holy water.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 8/13/13 at 2:11pm

My favorite part of the life of a sock is when the "voice" begins to unravel.

The character that was haphazardly created--usually by someone driven by a lot of OCD and not an ounce of playwriting or character-writing skills--begins to lose the few distinctive characteristics of the initial postings and just starts to sound like the same-old, same-old of the voice of the original sicko poster.

This is usually followed by a full-fledged fuchsia, complete with crimson, jaundice, magenta and, ultimately, nan or blackness.