Best In-Show Insults?

Gothampc
Broadway Legend
joined:5/20/03
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/5/12 at 12:26pm
I'm not sure if this was in the stage play or not, but no list of insults can be complete without it.


Jean & Marie
If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
Updated On: 11/5/12 at 12:26 PM
Phantom of London
Broadway Legend
joined:3/26/08
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/5/12 at 02:46pm
From the tedious Clybourne Park.

"What has a character in the play and a tampon got in common?"

"The're both stuck up ****s"

2014 Theatre: Billy Elliot***** Meet Me In St Louis*** American Psycho**** Tell Me On A Sunday**** Jeeves and Wooster: Perfect Nonsense* Stephen Ward**** Charlie and the Chocolate factory*** Dirty Dancing** Stephen Sondheim's Puttin It Together*** Candide*** The Lion King***** The Book of Mormon****** Les Miserable***** Stephen Ward**** The Weir**** Fortune's Fool*** Spamalot*** Superior Doughnuts**** Seven Brides For Seven Brothers**** (Orchard Theatre, Dartford) Finans Rainbow**** The Commitments** Boeing Boeing*** (Orchard Theatre, Dartford) The A-Z of Mrs P** Billy Elliot***** Wicked** Good People***** Urinetown***** Spamalot*** The Full Monty**** Other Desert Cities*** Ghosts*** Dirty Rotten Scoundrels***** It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's Superman*** Stephen Ward**** King Lear**** A Taste Of Honey** Blithe Spirit**** From Here To Eternity**** Spamalot*** Fiddler On The Roof** (Orchard Theatre, Dartford) Relative Values**** Fatal Attraction*** Matilda***** 39 Steps**** Another Country** Handbagged** Two Into One*** The Beautiful Game***** Let The Right One In**** Once**** Privacy***** Home** Best of Friends** Avenue Q*** Good People***** Betty Blue Eyes*** (Tour: Salisbury Playhouse) I Can't Sing* A View From The Bridge***** Water Babies **** (Tour: Leicester Curve) Miss Saigon***** In The Heights*** The Testament of Mary*** This May Hurt A Bit*** The Last 5 Years* (Greenwich Theatre) All My Sons*** Happy Days** Dirty Rotten Scoundrels**** Bakersfield Mist**** Ushers** The Pajama Game*** Evita*** (Tour: Orchard Theatre, Dartford)Fings Ain't What They Used To Be**** Billy Elliot***** Titus Andronicus**** 1984*** Clarence Darrow**** Miss Saigon***** A Small Family Business*** Things We Do For Love**** Hobson's Choice*** Rock of Ages*** (Tour: Churchill Theatre, Bromley) Zanna, Don't!*** The Silver Tassie** Bring Up The Bodies** Forbidden Broadway**** Carousel**** Hotel*** The Crucible**** Annie Get Your Gun*** (Churchill Theatre, Bromley) Medea*** The Importance of Being Earnest*** The Pajama Game*** Skylight**** Pacific Overtures** The Invincibles*** Julius Ceasar*** Porgy and Bess**** Dessa Rose** Great Britain**** One Man, Two Guvnors**** (Tour: Orchard Theatre, Dartford) Dogfight** My Night With Reg*** Book of Mormon***** Richard III**** Rock City**
SamIAm2
Featured Actor
joined:3/10/09
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/6/12 at 08:34am
"Master of The House" from Les Miz. Lots of great stuff, but my favorite is:

Cunning little brain
Regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover
But there's not much there
aaronb
Broadway Star
joined:6/3/12
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/6/12 at 09:15am
Going to echo the OP: "If you existed, I'd divorce you."
Check out my theater blog, http://www.scribicide.com
Miranda3
Featured Actor
joined:8/20/11
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/6/12 at 10:48am
This is from TV, but the line was spoken by Nancy Marchand, as Mrs. Pynchon in the old "Lou Grant" series. She gets on an elevator, where an obnoxious middle-aged fat-cat in a power suit is smoking a huge cigar. She says, "I'd ask you not to smoke, but I don't want to deprive you of the only thing that lights up in your presence." Priceless.
SonofRobbieJ
Broadway Legend
joined:12/10/09
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/6/12 at 11:10am
I'm a fan of 'You've seen more ass than a toilet seat, and I bet you all make 'em all call you the Champ' from The Wild Party.
Queen of the Night
Featured Actor
joined:6/12/07
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/7/12 at 11:46am
Val: (to Sheila, IIRC) I didn't want them like yours. I wanted them in proportion.
Hex3
Stand-by
joined:11/7/08
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/7/12 at 05:22pm
"I always knew you'd f*ck a snake if they held it's head."

Updated On: 11/7/12 at 05:22 PM

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