Review: HOW TO FLIRT: THE TED XXX-MAS EDITION, Soho Theatre

How to Flirt: The Ted xx-mas Edition, written and performed by Daisy Doris May, is a drag king show that brings audience members into a university-style seminar on how to properly flirt with women.

The teacher? Steven Porters, a “self-taught feminist” who has seen the error of his ways and is determined to show women that he is worthy of their love. And the Christmas theme? According to Steven, it was a requirement from Soho Theatre, so there are a few holiday-themed puns and some Christmas decorations on the set. 

It is revealed that we (affectionately referred to as “freshers” by Steven) are going to be learning how to flirt using the B.I.R.D. method, which stands for “Bold, interesting, romantic and dance.” But before we can begin learning how to flirt, we have to stretch, and Steven leads us in several stretches, including nodding our heads up and down and shaking them from side to side to warm up our consensual movement. After being asked if we are “ready to party” and answer with cheers, we are brought into a meditation that focuses on loving and flirting with yourself before going out into the world to flirt with others. Subversion is fantastically used during the show, and Steven quickly has the audience wrapped around his finger. 

Just like a university seminar, there is a heavy emphasis on participation, though most university seminars don’t involve the teacher asking each student for consent before a discussion. Steven, however, does a great job of ensuring that each audience member chosen to participate is comfortable, skipping over those who do not wish to get involved in the lessons on stage.

Some women were asked to voice a woman Steven is attempting to flirt with, which lead to some hilarious results based on the women and their reactions. Another section included Steven taking an audience member on a date through sensory experiences, which included blindfolding her and feeding her a Listerine melting paper. 

Along with audience members being brought on stage, there were a few moments where we were all encouraged to turn to a nearby stranger and test the different flirting techniques we’d just been taught, which was quite amusing and truly did make me feel like I was back in university, discussing the required readings that no one had actually done. I even ended up learning a fun fact as part of the “Interesting” module - did you know that Birmingham has more canals than Venice? I don’t know if it’s true, but it sure is interesting!

Towards the end of the show, after a dancing demonstration with a big finish, the show takes an emotional turn, with Steven telling us a story about when he was DJ’ing at Wimbledon for 'The Queue'. Steven describes how he met a woman and thought they were getting along, but then he touched her without her consent, which got him fired and sent him into hiding. The story felt very out of place, like it was just in there to fit the new comedy standard of having a dark moment toward the end of your set. But, the show does end on a high note with an absolutely hilarious graduation that included a prayer praising women and a tiny bubble machine. 

Ultimately, How to Flirt: The Ted xx-mas Edition is a delightful show. While it may not actually teach you how to flirt with women, it will leave you in tears of laughter on multiple occasions as Steven flirts his way through the audience to a range of reactions. The university seminar-style hour of comedy is fantastic and May has done an excellent job in curating a safe space for fun and friendly audience participation. And if you’re not a fan? To quote the man himself, “Dat’s okay.”

How to Flirt: The Ted xx-mas Edition ran from 14 to 16 December at Soho Theatre.

Photo Credit: Alex Lambert

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