ITV & Andrew Lloyd Webber's Search For A SUPERSTAR: Recap, Episode 3

Last week we were on our search for a Superstar; we spotted lots of West End leading men; they made pop videos for no real reason; and Jonathan Ansell was publicly humiliated for the sake of a convenient storyline. 

This time round, we were off to Majorca and Andrew Lloyd Webber's villa! The weather is gorgeous, which may be a clue as to why ITV is laughing in the face of their carbon footprint - sunshine has been sadly lacking in the UK this year.

Jason Donovan and Melanie C, as always, were sent to do Lloyd Webber's dirty work as they eliminated the first batch of wannabe Jesuses. Lloyd Webber stirred himself to meet his auditionees later, and demanded they all sing to him solo, accompanied by a nameless man in the corner on acoustic guitar. Nerves took over with some of them, with lyrics flying out of memories for some; tuning was out of the window with others; and Lloyd Webber was enraged by too little volume shown by a small minority.

After that, the boys were sent home on a 25-hour coach trip, in order to best prepare them for an arena tour - so fundamentally part of their audition process is actually just sitting (or sleeping) on a big luxury bus, and then singing a song the next day.

Shock, though! When they got back to London, Lloyd Webber is waiting for them in a studio, complete with rock band, having flown in the previous evening - presumably he did not need to prepare in any way for an arena tour, or show any solidarity with his poor auditioning puppets, who gave performances of varying qualities, with some complaining about their dry, tired voices after the Night Of Terror on the luxury coach.

Donovan and Chisholm helped Lloyd Webber whittle the boys down to the Top Ten, before they're wheeled in one by one to get their feedback. Through to the next stage are Dirk, Nathan, Roger, David, Tim, Niall, Rory, Ben, Afnan and Jeff - with West End performers like JoNathan Williams and Alex Gaumond rejected, because we do not want great singers, we want great television. And thus the one who panicked and forgot all his words in Majorca has been asked to be "the eleventh man" - the reserve in case someone has to pull out.

So as from tomorrow's show, we can start voting - who are you backing?

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