"My Fair Lady": Elegant Boredom

◊◊ 1/2 out of five.  2 hours, 55 minutes.  Mild adult humor. 

I learned a somewhat painful truth as I sat watching The National Theatre of Great Britain's revival of My Fair Lady, which opened last night at the Hippodrome Theatre in Baltimore:  My Fair Lady is much more fun to be in than to watch.  One of my most cherished memories of theatre was when I got to play Colonel Pickering in high school.  What fun learning dialect, dialogue and song!  And it is a classic – a Broadway score nearly unparalleled, and a book lifted almost word-for-word from Shaw's Pygmalion.  Who can quibble with that? No one.  Still, it was almost painful to sit through this very literal, oddly messy revival.  Maybe I'm used to the trend of streamlining or taking a fresh look at timeless material, but at nearly 3 hours long – act one is longer than both The Drowsy Chaperone and Xanadu, I was hoping to be transported.  Instead, I was alternately disappointed, mildly humored and aggravated. 

There are exactly four reasons to see this relic: the sumptuous costumes, the lavish scenery (both designed by Anthony Ward), the legendary Sally Ann Howes (you probably know her best as Truly Scrumptious from the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang film), and the absolutely thrilling performance of Lisa O'Hare as Eliza Doolittle.  (If you have tickets for the Thursday Evening or Sunday Matinee performances, you'll see Dana DeLisa.)

Mr. Ward's sets are enormous, filling the Hippodrome stage with the most spectacle seen in these parts since The Lion King.  Each and every one is eye-popping for its scale and attention to detail.  The Higgins study elicited a verbal response all six times it came into view – two stories of books, books, books and interesting scientific equipment, and furniture that begs to be sat upon and bounced on.  And the costumes, oh, the costumes!  Even the poor cockneys are dressed in their best rags.  But the designs for the Ascot Gavotte are beyond astonishing – a parade of shades of black, jewels, fur and feathers.  Ward's designs for Ms. O'Hare compliment her perfectly from her flower girl working clothes to her stunning Ascot gown to her diamond white ball gown.  The latter two and Ms. O'Hare earned well-deserved gasps of approval. 

Ms. Howes' portrayal of Mrs. Higgins, Henry's embarrassed mother, threatens to steal the show, and she quite handily does just that in her final confrontation with her son.  It really shouldn't be that surprising given her Broadway pedigree, but Ms. Howes also comes to My Fair Lady with extra baggage – she was the first replacement for Julie Andrews in the original Broadway company over 50 years ago.  She is the very essence of class, warmth and charity, and lights up the stage every time she is on.

On loan from Great Britain (I wonder which three American actresses got to go to the West End in trade for this one magnificent creature), Lisa O'Hare is the reason to stay in your seat for this marathon.  She is breathtakingly beautiful (a veritable doppelganger for Audrey Hepburn in the ballroom scene), has a lovely voice (even if she, like the original Ms. Andrews, struggles with the sharps/flats in her upper range – of course it might be by design – look like the movie, sound like the cast recording), and best of all is an excellent actress.  Ms. O'Hare has the natural ability to charm us with her wit and beguile us with her emotional extremes, and often within the same line.  That she also is a realistically formidable opponent for her Higgins just adds to the power of her performance.  Any shortcomings in her end of the production are the fault of the script and direction. 

Clearly, Trevor Nunn has tried to make this a more realistic production, much like he did with that snooze fest called Oklahoma! a few seasons back.  In doing so, he has severely diminished the romantic sweep of the original, even when it hurts or doesn't make sense.  As smart as he has turned Eliza throughout – she always stands on her own, almost bullying her way into Higgins' life – it makes no sense that she struggles for nearly a ten minute scene trying to verbalize why she is so hurt by Higgins' gloating at "his" success without a thought to her.  By the end of that scene I wanted to stand up and scream, "SHE WANTS YOUR RESPECT , YOU IDIOT!"  (Amazing how the mind wanders when paralyzed by boredom…)

Other areas where this "realism" hurts the show is any time there is an outdoor or barroom scene.  Nunn has the ensemble so busy conducting stage business and creating chit chat that it distracts and detracts from whatever it is we are supposed to be focusing on.  This happens repeatedly – in the opening Covent Garden scene that has at least four active subplots going on between the ensemble members when we first meet Higgins, when Eliza has her first public appearance as a "lady" at the Ascot Gavotte, and any time her father Alfred Doolittle is on stage. The blocking may be realistic, but is almost too consciously so, and as a result comes across as loud and unnecessary. 

Tony-winner (though not for this, thank God) Matthew Bourne created the choreography for this production and serves only to add to the mayhem and busy staging.  He makes some very bizarre choices, namely in the Ascot Gavotte, which has England's starchiest snobs gather to be seen and not heard.  The ladies are rightfully paraded across the stage, but their tuxedoed partners are doing an embarrassing horsy prance, high-stepping like queer drum majors in the Macy's Parade.  Add to that the unfortunate lone jockey who wobbles around the stage bowlegged to approximate years on the saddle, but really looking like he might have just unseated himself from a large cactus.  I felt sorry for the guy stuck with that gig.   

The two big show-stoppers – "With a Little Bit of Luck" and "Get Me to the Church on Time" – get huge hands in every production of this I've ever seen.  In this case, I suspect it is simply because they are the only two blips on an otherwise uneventful radar screen.  The former is notable for its homage to Stomp, featuring dancers with trash can lids on their feet and singers clanging anything metal that they can find.  Trouble is, Stomp and Susan Stroman have done this before and much better (remember "I've Got Rhythm" from Crazy for You?). 

This monster-sized company deserves some credit for sheer stamina, including a tediously long curtain call that all but has them begging for a standing ovation.  (Baltimore, is there anything you won't stand up for?)  That curtain call also angered me because Ms. O'Hare is forced to share her final entrance with her Higgins, the woefully mismatched Christopher Cazenove.  He wishes that he were as great as she is. 

Rex Harrison may have put an indelible stamp on the role, and certainly made it a requirement that any actor playing the role talk-sing the songs.  But is there any excuse for not staying with the music ("I'm an Ordinary Man" or "A Hymn to Him") or being so off key ("I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face")?  And irony of ironies, Higgins makes a living as a speech teacher, berating his pupil for her speech pattern, while Mr. Cazenove attacks every line in the same way – a building growl of rapid fire words, ending with two or three understandable ones, i.e. "Garble garble glub glub flower girl!"  Now mind you, the sound throughout the evening was terrific.  The accents easy to listen to, and no battle for dominance between vocalists and the musicians occurred.  And yet, Cazenove doesn't help out at all.  He is a spoiled brat wrapped in a giant ego – quintessential Higgins, but there is nothing there to make us warm up to him or even want us to allow him in the same room with Eliza, except that at any moment she might bop the jerk in the nose!

Understudy Cathy Newman does her very uppity best as Mrs. Pearce, Higgins' faithful head of the household, alternately nailing the haughty attitude of a servant who has made it big and a mother like protector of both Higgins and Eliza.  Justin Bohon (Broadway's Oklahoma!, All Shook Up)is decent, but not thrilling as the gaga Freddy Eynsford-Hill, giving the least belty and by far the least convincing "On the Street Where You Live" I have ever seen.  True, in the first version of the song, he spends his stage time either standing arms wide motionless or clinging like an amorous dog to a leg on a street light.  (Gene Kelly must be rolling in his grave.)  The second time he warbles the tune, he is drunk – not remotely convincingly drunk, but staggering and tripping just the same. 

Walter Charles (the original casts of Sweeney Todd, La Cage aux Folles, and a dozen other Broadway credits) is a gentleman's gentleman as Pickering.  Snobbish to be sure, but with a golden warm spot of a heart for Eliza.  He plays the warmth well, and makes two of Higgins' numbers at least listenable – "The Rain in Spain" and "You Did It."  But perhaps he plays the nice grandfatherly type too well, because it makes no sense when he leaves Higgins while Eliza is missing.  Where he goes is a line of Higgins', and unless you really know the show, you have no idea where Pickering went, as the details are lost in Cazenove's marble mouthed delivery. 

The second biggest hand of the night went to Tim Jerome (Tarzan and Cats on Broadway) as Alfred P. Doolittle, a role that is written almost solely to give the audience someone to relate to and cheer for.  Plus he gets the only up tempo numbers (see above) and some funny, if ribald, innuendos to toss out to the lowest common denominator.  A gravely voiced over-actor, Jerome chews the scenery to the delight of the masses hungry for something to love.  But instead, he is really giving us the British cousin to Thenardier in Les Miz, another crowd-mongering role.  There is nothing fresh here. 

The same could be said for this production.  For all of the press about its "gripping realism" it remains the same story.  That story is timeless, but it is a shame that someone didn't take a judicious pencil to the script and score.  It would benefit greatly from about a trim of at least 30 minutes.  Or maybe a cast and direction worthy of its leading actress would work as well.  If you are a big fan of splashy old-fashioned Broadway extravaganzas, run, do not walk, to the Hippodrome box office.  If you hunger for a stunning Broadway caliber star turn, get your tickets for any night but Thursday and Sunday (though I'm sure the alternate Eliza is just fine).  But take a nap, and carbo-load just before curtain – you'll need everything you have to get through this marathon.

 

PHOTOS: TOP to BOTTOM: Henry and Eliza at the Ball (Christopher Cazenove and Lisa O'Hare) ; Higgins' Study; The Ascot Gavotte (Lisa O'Hare, Walter Charles, Christopher Cazenove, Sally Ann Howes);"Just You Wait" (Lisa O'Hare); Eliza and Freddy (Justin Bohon, right);  "With a Little Bit of Luck" (Tim Jerome, top center) .

 

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