THE GRINCH Is Running For Office; Vows to Repeal Christmas
In a shocking announcement, The Grinch revealed he will be running for office......any office...preferably the largest one...maybe one with a plant. His primary political objective is to be TOUGH on Christmas. Two years ago, he challenged then Mayor of Minneapolis, RT Rybak to cancel Christmas; however he only succeeded in getting fruitcake banned. This year, he is taking the issue to the people!
CHRISTMAS NEEDS TO BE CANCELED:
Your life is in danger:
- Too many grandmas have been run over by reindeer.
- Slexting (texting while sleighing) results in numerous accidents.
- Rudolph's red nose is a highly contagious virus.
Christmas time exploits workers:
- Christmas trees should no longer hold up ornaments for free.
- Elves don't make any wages.
- Reindeer have been furloughed for 364 days out of the year.
Your security and privacy are at risk:
- Santa's tracking app actually tracks you.
- Santa's list is now owned by Google.
- Christmas shopping leads to identity theft.
You aren't safe in your own home:
- Christmas is an excuse for breaking and entering.
- Icicles will poke your eyes out.
- Frozen 2 comes out soon!
Reflecting on his decision to run for office, The Grinch made the following statement: "And the more I thought of the Who-Christmas-Sing, the more I thought, I must stop this whole thing! Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now! I MUST stop Christmas from coming! ...But HOW? Then I got an idea! An awful idea! I, THE GRINCH, GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! As Election Day is two weeks away, I will run for office to stop Christmas Day!"
He challenges all politicians, in any office, at any level to a debate on this extremely important issue.
Numerous endorsements have poured in for The Grinch, including: Ebenezer Scrooge, the Abominable Snowman, Mr. Oogie Boogie, Scut Farkas, the Heat Miser, Spike (the Gremlin) and Old Man Potter.
His stance on key issues, story and all political updates are located at teamgrinch.com.
SOURCE: Team Grinch Headquarters, Children's Theatre Company, 2400 Third Ave S, Minneapolis, MN REQUESTS: Requests for appearances, debates with other candidates and interviews can be directed to Campaign Manager, Max the Dog at 612.872.5110.
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