Check Out Quotables from TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON 3/27 - 3/30

Below, check out quotables from NBC's THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON from March 27 - March 30.

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 3.27.17: Well there's another SCANDAL for the White House. It came out today that Trump's son-in-law and top adviser, Jared Kushner, will be questioned about his meetings with Russian officials. And if they find out he did anything illegal, he'll be sentenced to...still being Trump's son-in-law.

And this was kind of scary. A woman was arrested yesterday morning for trying to scale a White House fence for the second time in a week. The Secret Service said, "We wish you were living here too, Mrs. Clinton, but you can't keep doing this."

And this is pretty big. It was announced that Canada plans to legalize marijuana by July of next year. It's exciting for Americans, cuz now they can add weed to the list of drugs they buy in Canada.

Some entertainment news. The top two movies at the box office this weekend were "Beauty and the Beast" and "Power Rangers." Then people waking up from a 25-year-coma said, "Huh - guess I wasn't out for too long." This happened already!(STILL "Beauty and the Beast" and "Power Rangers"...)

And finally, a big sports story. It was just announced that the Oakland Raiders will be moving to Las Vegas. People in Oakland said it'll be rough not having pro football - then people in Cleveland said, "Ah, you get used to it."

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 3.28.17

Well, it's been a rough few days for President Trump. And this week, it came out that his job approval rating is at just 36 percent. Trump was confused - he said, (TRUMP) "How can they disapprove of a job I'm not even doing??" (Fake polls!)

Yeah, Trump's approval rating is at just 36 percent, which is lower than Obama's ever was. And the only time Obama came CLOSE to that was when he had that meeting with Trump.

Actually, Trump's approval rating is worse than Obama's lowest, AND worse than Bill Clinton's lowest. After hearing this, Trump promised to hunt down bin Laden and sleep with an intern.

And this isn't good. It came out that Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner had an undisclosed meeting with a Russian bank that was under sanctions by Obama. When he heard his son-in-law was having meetings with shady Russians, Trump said, (TRUMP, CHOKING UP) "You can start calling me dad!"

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 3.29.17

Hillary Clinton is back in the news. She gave a big speech in San Francisco last night, and encouraged her supporters to quote, "resist, insist, persist, and enlist." Then she pointed to HERSELF and said, (POINT TO SELF) "Still pissed."

Listen to this. In a new interview, Trump's son-in-law and top advisor, Jared Kushner said the government should be run like a company, where the citizens are the customers. Then people said, "In that case, we have a president we'd like to exchange."

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 3.30.17

Well, baseball's gonna be starting up soon, you guys! But listen to this. The White House says President Trump will not throw out the first pitch at Washington Nationals' opener. Apparently, Trump was afraid of hurting his tweeting arm.

Actually, they said Trump had to cancel because of a scheduling conflict. When asked if they could change the date of the game, the Nationals said, "We already did, so he wouldn't come."

But this is nice. I saw that this week, Ivanka Trump and Education Secretary Betsy DeVos visited the National Air and Space Museum. Ivanka spoke to employees, while Betsy played with the snow globes in the gift shop. (DEVOS, SHAKE GLOBE) "Is this real snow??"

And this is really made me laugh. I read that contestants on a reality show in Scotland spent a year in the woods - then came out to learn the show was canceled back in August. And I know how they feel, my parents did that to me with a game of hide and seek. (Worst 30th birthday EVER!)

If you're a pet owner, you should listen to this. A new study finds that cats love their owners more than they love food. You know - cuz they figure if worst comes to worst, they can just eat their owners.

And finally, you guys - this Saturday is April Fool's Day! Or as it's now known, "President's Day.

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