"This time it'll be different...I've changed...Let's give it one more try." Most women are suspicious when they hear these promises but they often still can't get him out of their system. X That Ex: Making a Clean Break When It's Over (Hunter House) by Kristin Carmichael, LISW, is the long-awaited answer for women who have left a bad relationship and don't want to go back.
It is incredibly common for women to leave partners who are emotionally unavailable, immature, disrespectful, selfish or even abusive, but then struggle to stay away. Women might be tripped up by their Exes' schemes to get them back, their own self-sabotaging ways or even by our society, which seems to glorify a "give him one more chance" philosophy. To the dismay of family and friends, huge numbers of women go back to toxic relationships, wasting years and the possibility of happier lives on men who can't give them what they deserve.
If the post-breakup world for most people were logical, fair, regulated and well-defined, there would be no need for X That Ex. However, the time after a breakup is emotionally messy, sometimes chaotic and filled with conflicting feelings, motivations, hopes, temptations and realities that must be dealt with.
X That Ex focuses on this confusing time, demystifying why it is difficult to stay away from a problematic Ex, and making personalized predictions for readers about what to expect from their Exes and themselves right after a relationship ends. A chapter entitled The Ex's Playbook details the numerous ways an Ex may try to manipulate a woman who has left. It also includes the common traps that women can set for themselves - calling him 'just one more time,' negative thinking such as 'I'll never find anyone else' or 'He wasn't that bad' - and how to avoid falling into them.
Recently named a 2013 Catholic Healthcare Association Leader of Tomorrow, a distinction given only to ten people annually, Kristin Carmichael is a domestic violence specialist who writes with the goal of empowering women and helping them maintain healthy relationships. Her book is a unique roadmap that guides readers through the always tumultuous, sometimes perilous time when a woman's Ex might try time-tested tactics to tempt her back, when self-doubt may make a woman her own worst enemy, and when even our culture gets in on the action by making reunification seem reasonable. For more information, please visit http://xthatex.com/.
Available at fine bookstores, online outlets, or at 1-800-266-5592
X That Ex: Making a Clean Break When It's Over
By Kristin Carmichael, LISW
Hunter House
ISBN: 978-0-89793-8 / Paperback $15.95 ... also available as an e-book
About the Author:
Kristin Carmichael is a Licensed Independent Social Worker who holds master's degrees in social work and business administration. She is Domestic Violence Specialist at CHRISTUS St. Vincent Regional Medical Center in Santa Fe, NM. In this role, Carmichael consults, trains and collects data in order to develop the southwest's first medical-advocacy program dedicated to the safety of abuse survivors.
At a recent talk at a TEDx women's event in Albuquerque, Carmichael spoke on the topic of "Can Abuse Feel Good?", focusing on a side of abuse that is often overlooked and underestimated, and which is covered in depth in her book: Enticement. Men use it frequently in the game of manipulation and control they play when trying to convince women to give them another chance. Please watch Kristin at: http://youtu.be/7vhOAk5T3qA.
Since 2001, Carmichael has trained teens, law enforcement, judicial system officials, and healthcare and business professionals on DV issues. She has also shared her experience at a statewide training for The New Mexico Coalition to End Domestic Violence. A former manager at Esperanza Shelter for Battered Families, she is an expert in the dynamics of unhealthy relationships, and has advocated for and counseled more than a thousand DV survivors.
