Student Blog: I Guess I'll Miss the Show (an ode to PIPPIN)

Yesterday I closed my first show of college. Our show, Pippin, meant so much to me, I'm not sure how to begin.

Being in Pippin was a love story. I was so nervous coming into my second semester of college show auditions, after having not been cast in anything my first semester- especially with Pippin being one of my favorite shows. I was caught up in the usual thoughts: fears of not being seen, or recognized; imposter syndrome and doubt over whether I even deserved to even audition. Then, as all things that are meant to happen do, it happened. I was cast - with a WONDERFUL group of people, might I add. Even so, I still felt like it had to have been a mistake, like I was put on the list by accident and waiting for a terrible emailed subject lined "Casting mix-up."

But that email never came. Because I was a part of the cast. I was supposed to be there. And this is something I learned very fast in rehearsals.

I truly have never worked with a cast so hardworking, talented, and most of all, accepting. I felt at home as soon as I stepped into the world of Pippin with all those around me, and it quickly became my happy place in a rather tough period of my life. Along with being the most fun and comfortable show I've been in, it's also been the most educational, as I learned more about character building and the power of ensemble work than I've ever known in 10+ years of performing. People often say how "every person matters" and "every actor is needed to tell the story" but these statements never felt true until I put on my mask as a Player.

Pippin pushed me to my limits, those exciting and hard. Some days I was learning new tricks and stunts, others I was just trying to stay with it and be in the moment. While some moments were harder than others, I learned a lot about myself as a performer and how to improve and push myself in a healthy way, and I could really feel myself growing stronger.

While it was tiring, there was also something exhilarating about getting into the routine of a several show week, as it felt like a quick taste of the professional world and what a career in the arts might feel like. The actual runs were a lot harder than I'd expected, especially having come from highschool three show runs, to a college six show run (not including various tech runs as well). I had to learn a lot about energy conservation and building routines around sleep and time to relax during our hectic schedule. As our run continued, I found myself in a good solid routine: showing up with my makeup done, hitting warm ups, and always making time for pre-show meditation with the girls dressing room. By the last show, I really felt like I'd gotten the hang of things... Unfortunately, that's usually when the best things come to an end.

I've never been in a more rewarding show than this one, and while I'm sad it's over, I look forward to being in more shows with the wonderful people I no longer call my castmates, but my friends. After all this show has done for me, I have no doubt it was a production I was meant to be in, and truly found belonging in the cast. Due to them and our wonderful director, Jim, I'm coming out of this show as a confident performer, and resilient human. I take away from Pippin the fact that I matter when it comes to performing, as well as that I am seen, and valuable. I'm so grateful for this whole experience, and couldn't have asked for a better show to kick off my college career. To quote one of my favorite lines from the ending of the show, "It always was here," and Pippin will most certainly always be here in heart.