BWW Blog: It's Not All Fun and (Theatre) Games
Attending college for theatre has taught me it's okay and necessary to make mistakes.
I have always loved performing. I've devoted blood, sweat and tears to countless hours of acting classes, voice lessons, endless rehearsals. My family has accompanied me to all the auditions, college visits and encouraged me to pursue a career in the theatrical community. Along the way, theatre has certainly come with a lot of joy. It is my favorite topic to discuss and some of my best memories are days I spent in a tech rehearsal or staying up all night trying to memorize Shakespeare.
However, at times, pursuing theatre performance can be incredibly frustrating and personally draining. The times you don't get the part, the days you can't hit the note, when you just can't remember that one line, the moments when a director tells you to walk one way and you just continue to walk the other because of muscle memory (we all know that moment). It's times like this when as an artist you can feel very inadequate even though know you should think more rationally.
When it comes to being a performer, it is a very personal experience and minor mistakes feel like failures because acting requires a deep sense of vulnerability. Everyone around you can be telling you it's "okay" or "you're fine" but as performers we are just so passionate about our work that we can often lose sight of logic and go straight to a place of criticism. I think as we grow, it becomes easier because you learn how to fail and you learn to laugh at yourself. But still, the perfectionist ways often never linger far from performers' minds. Majoring in Theatre has helped me realize that theatre is something I do and it is what I love to do, but if I was perfect at it, I wouldn't have to be studying it.
I think the times that have taught me the most about being an artist are when I have not gotten a part, received too many notes on a monologue I worked tirelessly on, not received a callback or not gotten the grade I thought I had earned on a paper. Constructive criticism and feedback are not failures, but rather moments to learn from and work harder.
One of the reasons I advocate that attending school for theatre is necessary is because it gives you a space to take risks. So much of performing is based on trial and error. In my time studying theatre in college, I have been forced to expand my comfort zone, and I am a better performer for it. I love having the opportunity to study what I love and make a mess.
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