Student Blog: 100 of What You've Got

The past year has been a constant learning experience for me as an artist. I suffered a back injury in November of 2023 that still causes me great pain every day. My time as a performer up until then was done with an able body. I am glad that I never took it for granted, especially in my first two years of college when I discovered how to love dance calls and find immense joy in movement despite never having the greatest flexibility or technique. In an effort to minimize how bad the pain gets, every day has become a puzzle of how to walk the shortest possible distances, targeting zero stairs, and hitting the maximum time spent laying down. Accordingly, the tools for keeping pace with my world are never static and certainly aren’t one-size-fits-all. 

Something that I shared with the creative team in my gratitude for bringing me on board for Vinegar Tom is that this is the first time I’ve been cast in a show since this all started. I had been on numerous auditions in the winter and spring without booking anything, and it stung for the usual day or two, but for the first time, I felt guilty for asking these teams to take a chance on me. 

On audition forms, I would mention that I have accessibility needs that create issues for me with things like bending down, climbing stairs, or standing for extended periods of time. I would feel nervous each time about submitting forms with these things on them because I felt like I could be disqualifying myself by telling them about it. To be clear, I know that this was an irrational thought and never have I been shown any reason it would be rational. It was just something for my therapist and me to work on. But in Vinegar Tom, I was met with such understanding for what I’ve been going through. The team offered to modify my blocking and give me time off when I couldn’t come in. I felt anxious about asking for these things in the moment, but I was given a great deal of grace, for which I am very grateful to stage manager Alina Novotny and director Allie Moss. 

All in all, I feel as though the most important tool that I have used in my pursuit of a theater degree is patience. Patience to wake up tomorrow and see how I’m feeling; patience to give it my all even when the pain is ramping up; patience to rise up and meet the day. When I was working on the world-premiere of Agyeiwaa Asante’s The Half-Sibling Play, I picked up a new idea from our wonderfully thoughtful director, Ludmila de Brito, that I have carried with me every day since she introduced it. She encouraged us in a check-in at the start of rehearsal one day to take inventory of the state we arrived at the studio in. From there, she asked us for 100% of what we’ve got and nothing more. A taxing day could leave you at 30% of your typical capacity by the time 6:30 rolls around and it’s time to sign into rehearsal. But if 30% is what you have, then 30% it is. I felt inspired by that compassion and that kindness in her leadership. I hope you do too. Best of luck with finals.