As her
musical director at the time, I co-wrote/conceived, arranged and played
for Bette Midler on Johnny Carson's penultimate show.As it has
been played over and over and over today, I felt a lot like the young
boy in a tree in Stephen Sondheim's "Pacific Overtures". The night had
nothing to do with me, and yet I have my own unique perspective on it
and feel inextricably a part of it.When Bette called to ask me
help her put together her performance as Johnny Carson's last guest, I
was thrilled. The whole country at the time was watching every night,
as star after star were making the final appearance to thank him. I
knew it was an honor to be part of this final evening with guests (his
last night was a monologue).So, Bette, Bruce Vilanch and I got
together and immediately thought of writing new lyrics to the Judy
Garland version of "YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU", which Judy has sung as a
worshipful fan. It seemed perfect. We wrote:
YOU MADE ME WATCH YOU I DIDN'T WANNA DO IT JACK PARR HAD PUT ME THROUGH ITYOU MADE ME WATCH YOU I LOVE THE JOKES YOU'RE FLOGGIN' WHEN YOU ARE MONOLOGUE-IN'I WATCHED YOUR HAIR TURN SLOWLY FROM DARK TO WHITE AND WHEN I CAN'T SLEEP I COUNT YOUR WIVES AT NIGHT(That
line got a huge reaction, especially from JC. It is very odd to write
something like that, knowing it is going to be sung to the actual
person, and then watch him crack up. Anyway, I digress…I'D DROP MY DRAWERS FOR THE KIND OF BUCKS YOU'RE MAKING FOR SIMPLE DOUBLE-TAKINGBEFORE YOU BID ADIEU DON'T BE CHEAP PUT DeCORDAVA TO SLEEP(see above digression!)JUST THE THOUGHT YOU'RE LEAVING SURE GIVES ME THE SHIVERS ARSENIO IS AT THE GATE AND SO'S Joan Rivers! YOU KNOW THEY MADE ME WATCH YOU!(big finish)HOW I'LL MISS THE SOCIAL INTERCOURSE SO VARIED NOW I'LL HAVE TO HAVE IT WITH THE GUY I MARRIED YOU KNOW I'D RATHER WATCH YOU!!
Well,
that number was fantastic. I was over with the band, playing it and
BEAMING with pride! I mean seriously, playing for Bette at anytime is
beyond thrilling, but co-writing lyrics and watching her bat them out
of the park like that is positively org*smic.So, after that, I am brought backstage to the piano on set, where she will, after talking, come to sing…the ballad.Now,
when she first called, I put my thinking cap on and tried to come up
with the ultimate "I've talked to you for years and now you want to go
home and I would just love to thank you" song. I jumped into the
shower, started scrubbing, when "ONE FOR MY BABY" popped into my head.
I think I almost had an embolism. I called Bette dripping wet "I'VE GOT
IT!! THE MOST PERFECT SONG!" I told her, and as she did pretty much
with every idea I ever threw at her, she said "eh".
But I was
like a dog with a bone. I could literally hear and see it in my head
and I would NOT let her pooh-pooh it. Despite her moaning "I can't sing
that song…I'll be too nervous to hit those notes", I persevered.When
she came over, we rehearsed it. She was frightened of it, but at least
she sat with me and we even started to toy EVER so slightly with the
final verse, to make it more specific to MR. CARSON. Now, that takes
balls, to re-write Johnny Mercer!! But neither Bette nor I seem to lack
chutzpah!Ok, cut to the sound check at The Tonight Show.
Earlier in the day, Bette started second-guessing "ONE FOR MY BABY" and
asked the guys in the band what Carson's favorite song was. In unison,
they all said "HERE'S THAT RAINY DAY".
I sensed "ONE FOR MY BABY" was doomed.Ok,
so now, it is the segment after "YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU". I am seated at
the piano, behind the curtain. I have a monitor at the piano. Bette
asks Johnny what his favorite song is and starts singing "HERE'S THAT
RAINY DAY" accapellaI think "NO!! She is sabotaging my musical director masterpiece!! They are gonna run out of time! AAIIIEEE!!!!!"Meanwhile,
Carson has started singing along with her, completely sincere and
totally in tune! I wait to see if the band's piano player is gonna join
in, since it is now clear they are gonna sing the whole song! When he
doesn't, I plunk a high note to confirm the key and just jump in,
hoping I am miked, but who even cares. I am a accompanist and I hear
people singing…I HAVE TO PLAY FOR THEM!!
Well, I am having a
schizophrenic discussion in my head "This is so exciting, you're
PLAYING FOR JOHNNY CARSON/Stop playing, this moment is gonna spoil the
one you fought so hard for!"Anyhoo, they finish, they go to commercial and I am sure they are about to tell me the final song is cut for time.GOD SMILES!! IT ISN'T!!Bette
takes her place. The entire staff of the show is huddled in the wings,
watching her live and on the monitors. They are VERY emotional, this is
THEIR final night also.We come back from commercial and Johnny Carson intro's Bette and we start…IT'S QUARTER TO THREE THERE'S NO ONE IN THE PLACE EXCEPT YOU AND ME… I
have tried to play the song in the style of Bette's first two albums,
where her original musical director and arranger Barry Manilow had
created beautiful arrangements of standards using Laura Nyro type
chords. To say you could hear a pin drop would be the understatement of
the year. As I've listened to it today, I am reminded that there were
little "licks" I meant to play between lyrics, but the moment was SO
tender and I was on such pins and needles, my fingers didn't even
attempt ANYTHING but the most simple accompaniment.
Then, right
before the final verse, they cut to a new angle, one never used on the
show. Over Bette's shoulder, we could see Johnny Carson, mesmerized as
the rest of us by Bette's performance, his eyes locked with hers. She
sings our "adapted" lyricsFOR ALL OF THE YEARS FOR THE LAUGHS, FOR THE TEARS FOR THE CLASS THAT YOU SHOWED MAKE IT ONE FOR MY BABY AND ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD… THE LONG…LONG…ROADI swear, I felt like I was floating on a cloud. There is no other way to describe it.On
the final measures, I did what any other gay musical director would
have done, I incorporated THE TONIGHT SHOW THEME into the final
measures.We finished, and the place went insane. Bette was so
overcome that, after placing a lei around Johnny's neck (she is
Hawaiian, ya know) she ran backstage so as to not be seen so
overwhelmed.
I myself was in a daze, as I walked through the show's staff, all sobbing.As we all "celebrated" backstage, Mr. Carson disappeared into the night.Well,
that's it. I just wanted to write this down. I hope no one is TOO
disgusted by the self-serving perspective of this remembrance, but
Sondheim (as always) put it best, when two witnesses to a historic
event sing:I am hiding in a tree. I'm a fragment of the day. If I weren't, who's to say Things would happen here the way That they happened here?It's the fragment, not the day. It's the pebble, not the stream. It's the ripple, not the sea That is happening.Not the building but the beam, Not the garden but the stone, Only cups of tea And history And someone in a tree.