Ashcroft's theatrical dream is alive!

Attorney General John Ashcroft announced his departure as the country's top law enforcement officer citing "creative differences" with the President of the Red States. He intends to now focus all of his time on his upcoming Broadway musical, starring himself, and has expressed his desire to work with Tony-winning URINETOWN book and lyric writers Greg Kotis & Mark Hollmann. A White House spokesperson, who would not go officially on record, stated that, "John served his country well, but it became clear that mounting his multi-million dollar musical spectacular had become more important to him." There was no word on whether Colin Powell was also interested in transferring his adaptation of "YMCA" to the Main Stem (a.k.a. The Great White Way, a.k.a. Broadway).

Now that the ex-AG can devote all of his time to his first love – singing – rather than the day-to-day curbing of civil liberties, he has dispensed a team of Special Agents to New York to convince Kotis & Hollmann that they are the right "fit" for his yet to be named project. (Insiders are calling it John Ashcroft – The Musical.) Every Monday night, Eat the Taste (not really a musical, although it does feature one catchy new tune by the Urinetown songwriting duo) offers audiences a chance to see politics and music in action.

The 65-minute spoof, penned by Greg Kotis, is directed by John Clancy, and stars Greg Kotis, Mark Hollmann, Bill Coelius, Gibson Frazier, Paul Urcioli, and Eva van Dok. When Ashcroft…well Kotis…first started conceptualizing the play, it was set in the future, perhaps in 2008 when he thought Mr. Ashcroft would be leaving office. But last week's news sort of upped the ante, so Kotis has been feverishly rewriting his comedy to make sure that it pleases both Ashcroft and audiences alike.

Eat the Taste, now rapidly moving from "in-development" to the "we're talking Broadway" phase, can be seen Mondays only at the Barrow Street Theatre (27 Barrow Street at 7th Avenue); showtimes are 7 & 9pm. Tickets for the open-ended, Mondays-only run are $25/$20 for students, and can be purchased by calling Telecharge at 212-239-6200/www.telecharge.com or at the Barrow Street Theatre box office, noon--7pm daily (Mondays, noon--9pm).

Eat the Taste is produced by Scott Morfee and Planetearth Partners, Inc.; Cris Buchner, General Manager.