Centaur Theatre Celebrates 10th Anniversary of Urban Tales with AN UNDEAD XMAS

Ghosts, goblins and ghastly yarns are the stuff of this year's Urban Tales, Centaur Theatre's annual antidote to the excessive warm-and-fuzzies usually associated with the holiday season. For five shows only between December 8 and 17, the tongue-in-cheek event, celebrating its 10th anniversary, features some of Montreal's best actors telling stories that range from dark and bizarre dark to downright hair raising. As in the previous nine editions, accomplished playwright/director/actor Harry Standjofski curated and directed the scary assortment, providing the live musical introductions to each story, this year accompanied by his son, Mikaïl Standjofsky-Figols, in the duo Standjofski2-Figols.

Mr. Standjofski stated enthusiastically that, "It's fantastic we've made it to ten years. Never underestimate the 'inner Grinch'; our salacious-seeking audiences keep coming back, driving our numbers steadily upward. We've already selected next year's theme so I'm confident Urban Tales will make it to at least a 'dirty dozen'. As part of the process, I reach out to local playwrights who have first pick at who tells their story-some are written especially for a particular actor-but more and more I'm receiving unsolicited work and not just from playwrights; other artists such as actors and stage managers are stretching their talents and submitting impressive work. Both this year and last, scripts came to me out of the blue that happily coincided with the themes. We usually get more than we can produce in one show but those scripts are by no means wasted efforts. In fact, we've built quite a storehouse of outstanding material for future events."

Yvan Bienvenue, father of Urban Tales, which originated at the Théâtre La Licorne in 2004, contributed Emile 1976 about a young boy's ghostly Christmas encounter, told by a Montreal treasure in both the French and English communities, Michel Perron. Actor/director Alain Goulem authored and tells a holiday zombie yarn entitled I Saw Mommy Eating Santa Claus. Playwright Alexandria Haber's contribution, It's a Wonderful Life, has a twisted spin on the familiar title with Jane Wheeler recounting an adulterous act by a man in a Santa suit, and actor Stephanie Costa ventures into the spirit world of First Nations to weave Arthur Holden's haunting tale of vengeful conifers in Foolish, Foolish Thief. A paranormal investigator has a very bad Christmas in L. M. Leonard's The Double-Goer, enacted by Danette MacKay and a wife possessed only in slumber, and its maddening on her husband, is the focus of Harry Standjofski's don't shout, don't cry, told by the versatile Daniel Brochu. This year's line-up of 'crypt'-ic teasers follows.

Emile 1976 by Yvan Bienvenue, translated by Harry Standjofski, told by Michel Perron

"This morning there's only silence
The whole house is deep in sleep
The dreams are all bundled up
in the decorated boxes
under the tree
little boxes, bigger ones
in which the dreams ... sometimes
are in-verse-ly pro-por-tion-al
You ever had one of those inversely proportional dreams?
They are the best"

I Saw Mommy Eating Santa Claus written & told by Alain Goulem
The crowds, the noise, the incessant shopping for things that nobody wants anyway, the force fed glee, the ugly sweaters, traffic, fake plastic trees, the greed of it all... but more than anything, it's the overindulgence that gets me. I spend so much of the year trying to control myself to be the best me, and then the holidays are here and... and... Christmas is a tough time of year for a lot of folks...
but it's really tough on the Undead.

It's a Wonderful Life by Alexandria Haber, told by Jane Wheeler
I look at him, I ask him: what on earth is going on, when Harold, my Harold, starts to cry and leans in to kiss Eve. Whoa!! I am standing right here! As Harold keeps kissing her, Eve is moaning Oh Santa, Santa! And all of a sudden it all comes back to me, whooshing in like the cold air Eve brought in with her, a kaleidoscope of whirling memories. Oh goodness, my head, my head! I have heard that moan before.
The company Christmas party. The men's washroom.

Foolish, Foolish Thief by Arthur Holden, told by Stephanie Costa
But I won't turn you in. I don't even blame you for coming here. I mean, look around. Have you ever seen such trees? Timeless. Perfect. Standing there in the moonlight, their boughs outstretched,
they could almost be human. Any one of these trees would look beautiful in your living room, strung with lights and tinsel. The fact that you'd have to hack it from its roots to decorate your home for a week or two before tossing the dead remnants into the street to be taken away and mulched...
well... that's just how we do things, isn't it? There's always a price to pay.
Yes. I've made up my mind. You can cut down a tree after all.

The Double-Goer by L.M. Leonard, told by Danette MacKay
We also investigated Mary Gallagher, the headless whore of Griffin Town, popping up every year like a jack in the box, a grudge in her heart and looking for her head. Tricky business. Part of the job is realizing the dead are lonely. They're talking their asses off and nobody is listening -- and then there are the dead who just won't let go. Wailing like Banshees, saying "I'm sorry" over and over, but all you hear is a kind of hissing on the wind. Those are the cases that stay with you, the ones you have to let the angels solve.

don't shout, don't cry by Harry Standjofski, told by Daniel Brochu
Night after night: I'd collapse asleep at bedtime and then wake with a start for what seemed no reason at all around 3 and my wife would be whispering. I started to suspect that she wasn't asleep at all, that she was toying with me but my nudging her, her turning over to face the other way would only bring a few minutes of peace and then she would begin again.

TICKETS
$22 Regular adult admission
$18 Subscribers, Seniors, ACTRA, Equity, QDF, UdA, PWM, QWF & under 30
$16 Students

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