Johnny Oleksinki

The dreadful show, which opened Thursday night at the Marquis Theatre, takes the pop songs of Britney Spears and plops them willy-nilly in a feminist Cinders in which the main character realizes there’s more to life than falling in love with a prince. Good for you, Cindy, but wouldn’t it be nice if you were both a freethinking, independent woman and your musical’s story made a lick of sense? It’s bibbidi-bobbidi-brainless. Instead of crafting compelling characters or a gripping plot, book writer Jon Hartmere has combined dance floor tunes from the aughts and half-baked, teacher’s-pet ideas into shapeless mush. “Once Upon” is rarely fun, but always cloying and impossible to follow.

However, director Joe Mantello’s production of “Grey House” only offers a few audio-based jump-scares and a vaguely spooky atmosphere. The tension is swallowed whole even by a house as intimate as the Lyceum, and shudders from the audience are rare. Once we’ve become accustomed to the occasional burst of unexpected noise, the play settles for being merely unsettling.

These artists’ respective “Chicago,” “Hamilton” and “The Producers” have given a lot to the city that their latest, lesser creation is named after. SEE ALSO Director Martin Scorsese's 1977 flop 'New York, New York' is now a new Broadway musical. Forgotten Scorsese film flop gets a second chance — on Broadway. But none of the ingenuity, originality and edge that made those musicals era-defining hits comes through in “New York, New York.” Instead, there is start-to-finish derivativeness in the guise of good old-fashioned nostalgia. It’s tired, sappy and deathly dull.

A pair of extraordinary elements make the new spectacle show “Life of Pi” seaworthy: stunning projections, and a better-than-necessary lead performance from the sensational Hiran Abeysekera. Working in tandem during the second act, when teenage Pi is adrift in the ocean with only dangerous zoo animals to keep him company, those fantastical images and Abeysekera’s boisterous energy create moment after moment of theatrical magic. They are sequences of pure action and ingenuity in director Max Webster’s production that do not rely on dialogue or plot to thrill us, only sheer emotion and awe. Not unlike an “Avatar” film. However, not all of “Pi,” which opened Thursday night on Broadway, packs that same stirring visual punch. The play — adapted by Lolita Chakrabarti from Yann Martel’s novel, previously turned into Ang Lee’s Oscar-winning film — starts off as a fairly straightforward, wonkily written drama that takes a while to kick in

The new musical 'Head Over Heels,' which opened Thursday on Broadway, takes the songs of '80s American girl group the Go-Go's, plops them in a British story from the 16th century and adds a bunch of modern, self-referential jokes. It's an idea that's so crazy, it just might work! It doesn't. This indulgent show is wackier than it is fun, and elicits more 'huh?' than 'ha'. Worse, it treats the catchy pop music like a side of spinach.