BWW Blog: A Letter to the Incoming Freshmen

Dearest theatre freshmen,

Welcome to college! It's probably been a few weeks since you've started by now. My name is Maggie, and I'm here to be your dramatic arts big sister. I'll do my best to give you good advice or help you explain to mom and dad that actually, that new traffic cone in your room is your roommate's, and the #WineWednesday letterboard in the background just misspelled "whine."

As your big sister, I'm obligated to give you the skinny on the enigma that is the theatre department at your school. Because every college experience is definitely identical, you should take my word as gospel.

First day jitters are natural. I've come up with a natural remedy for mine. It's drinking 5 cups of black coffee so you can blame them on that instead. I talk about coffee an awful lot in my articles despite not actually drinking the stuff- no, I prefer to stick to herbal teas, because as a theatre major I have to keep my throat nice and clear for when I explain to my extended family that a "design tech" degree does not mean I'm working for Apple.

Us upperclassmen are here to help you! Ask us any questions you'd like, except about the department printer, because it is a pain in the butt. You will learn that printers always have a weird nickname. I've dubbed ours Yoda because we have tried for years to understand how it manages to print everything backwards in comic sans and also tinted green. We have failed. Once I managed to fix a printer jam and the department gave me a medal. The force is strong with this one.

Taco Bell can solve a lot of problems. If you're hungry, go grab a Crunchwrap. If you're stressed, you can be stressed but full after eating a Crunchwrap. If you're handing in an assignment late, you can just say you were eating a Crunchwrap instead of doing your work. Sure, my teacher may say that's "unacceptable" and "unprofessional," but I literally can't hear them over the crunch of my Crunchwrap so does it really matter? (Disclaimer: this column is not sponsored by Taco Bell... yet. They keep ignoring my emails.)

Don't be afraid to speak up in class. My freshman year, I was terrified of getting things wrong or misunderstanding things so I never asked professors about their material. I can assure you that everyone else is just as confused as you are. There's an interesting scientific phenomenon in theatre classrooms that I've decided to call the "Spider Theorem." It states that professors are actually more afraid of us than we students are of them. They are confused and wary of our existence because they don't understand how we can survive on just Takis and Redbull, but are generally there to help us in our new environment. Also, most of them are non-venomous and one of them knows how to weave really nice sweaters.

As your dramatic arts big sister, I have one more important piece of advice: Enjoy yourselves! This is college, after all. Do some exploring. Meet new people. Get the most you can out of this semester, and don't forget that it is perfectly okay to make mistakes while you are learning. Oh, and the last, most important thing: you have to swipe me into the dining hall because I'm broke and am out of groceries. Them's the rules! Have a great semester!