BWW Interviews: If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother - A Chat With The Moms of DEAR EVAN HANSEN

Moms are a tough subject for me. Having lost my own just a few months ago, every movie or show I see with a mere mention of mothers makes me remember mine isn't around anymore. It's a challenge, but it's getting better. The sadness is turning into a gratefulness, and it's starting to feel just right.

At the same time, my husband and I are in the process of figuring out how to become parents in this Gay New World, navigating the foster system and trying to build a family without the obvious built-in infrastructure can be difficult. Both those things being said, I can't help but have my mind on what it means to be a parent.

I was able to have a conversation with the two Moms in the cast of the World Premiere of Dear Evan Hansen - which opens this month at DC's Arena Stage. Broadway's Jennifer Laura Thompson (Nice Work If You Can Get It) and Rachel Bay Jones (Pippin) star as Cynthia and Heidi respectively and they've also managed to tackle being working actors and real-life mothers at the same time. I got the chance to speak with both of them about how all that works - juggling successful careers and parenthood is something not a lot of Broadway actors can pull off.

JM: Tell me about Dear Evan Hansen.

RBJ: It's brand new, a rare opportunity to work on something entirely original that's being created under your nose. There's no source material to reference if the storyline needs to shift or change. Nothing to keep you stuck. It's a gorgeous experience. Anything can happen with this. It's really exciting.

JLT: I'm really excited to be involved in this piece. After working with these writers and creators for a year and a half, I didn't want to let it go. This is one of the most compelling pieces of musical theatre I've ever come across.

JM: Rachel, you played a mom in Pasek & Paul's A Christmas Story as well. How do you think these two young guys handle writing mom roles?

RBJ: It's stunning to me how closely connected they are to a mind of a middle aged woman! I don't understand how they do it. The way they're able to get right to the heart of everything a mom thinks and feels-it's so beautiful, and they musicalize it in such an interesting way. There's so much depth. Even though I say the role of Heidi is something we're making together and I relate closely to her struggles, fails and successes, so many moms will relate to this. There's a universality to what they created, yet it's so specific, we can all feel connected to it.

JM: What about being real life moms do you carry into your roles?

JLT: I have a son who is 11 1/2. He's becoming a tween. Oh, I carry everything. Becoming a mom has changed my outlook on life. The experiences I've had as a mom have had a great impact on what I can bring to the stage because I feel things realistically now. Accessing those feelings for the first time in a musical is an extraordinary, vulnerable and rewarding thing as an actress. It's the most reality-based role I've played because I'm connected to this character in so many ways. It's an unmanufactured feeling. I've never played such an intense role. It is thrilling.

RBJ: There's so much. As an actor, the reason I'm doing this is to learn something. We have to ask ourselves constantly why we're manifesting this, what is it about her? Why did I need to play this part? I think some of the things I'm connecting with and learning from are the ways in which we tell ourselves everything's okay. We refuse to see reality, sometimes lying to ourselves about our current situation because it's uncomfortable and scary. I'm seeing how often I do that. "We're cool, keep going!" We need to stuff down everything that's hard to look at. Heidi is a single mom, crazy hours, sending herself back to school, making a better life for her kid. She encourages her son to keep going, no time to stop, don't allow painful feelings, buck up!

JM: What's some parental advice you would give to the character you're playing, if you could?

JLT: Cynthia is Jennifer in so many ways. She's like me in real life. So true to her heart, devoted to her children. She listens to her children. She tries to see life through her children's eyes. She's inherently true to her children and sees to their needs and wants in life. She goes to desperate measures to listen to her kids, even at a volatile age. Never give up on your child - there's no reason to.

RBJ: Ha! So many times they do a rewrite and I say to Heidi: "don't do that, nooo!" I think I'd tell her- appreciate who you are as a mother, all the wonderful things you are, not the many ways in which you fail.

JM: And vice versa - what's some advice you think your character might give to you as a parent?

JLT: She would say listen to your instincts...and get a haircut.

RBJ: I feel like we're the same - I relate to her so closely because I make her character fit my own. We take aspects of ourselves and fit them into the story we're telling. It would be "let go." Allow your child to become the adult that they need to be. I'm learning. My daughter is 12 years old. As a mother of a pre-teen, it's scary. Heading into teenage years knowing what mine were like! With this experience there's an aspect of trying it on, seeing what she learns and how she learns to let her son become a man. I'm trying on those lessons for size as my daughter starts to push away and become a teenager.

JM: What about your mom? Anything you'd carry from her lessons into this role?

JLT: Wow. Life does go on. People do learn and grow from even the most tragic circumstance.

RBJ: We're all a mess. Children just need to know they're loved unconditionally. We're a mess and they don't need us to be perfect.

JM: What are the biggest challenges you face as a real-life mom?

JLT: Managing the boundaries between being a mom and a best friend. My son and I are very close - especially at the tween stage. Bounding between discipline and being a best friend is hard. The lines become very blurred. But you have to be the disciplinarian and it's hard for my son to understand when that line is crossed.

RBJ: Understanding that my child is a different person that I am. It's part of the letting go thing. They're totally different human beings. They're not going to think about life the way I do, and that can be okay. Understanding they are their own person. When they're young they think of themselves as the same person as their parent, then they push away and realize who they are. And it takes us awhile to catch up. We expect them to think the way we do and they just don't.

JM: Anything you'd like to add?

JLT: The material is more than just being connected to, it's music I'd want to listen to on a regular basis every day. It's the most infectious score I've ever been a part of. From the get go, the story was compelling and the music had me locked in.

RBJ: As much as I connect to the moms in the show, it's not really a mom show. It's for everyone. It's got a really fresh, contemporary perspective on how people connect to each other.

Dear Evan Hansen begins performances at the Arena Stage July 10th and will run through August 23rd. Please visit Arena Stage for tickets and information.