Quotables from Seth Meyer's Final 'Weekend Update' on SNL

Related: SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC



Below, check out quotables from this weekend's SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH SETH MEYERS AND CECILY STRONG". The segment marked Meyers' final 'Weekend Update' segment, concluding his eight seasons on the NBC sketch comedy series. He will go on to take over the reins of 'Late Night' from fellow SNL alum Jimmy Fallon, beginning Monday, Feb. 24th.



Click here to watch a clip from the February 1st Weekend Update.



"WEEKEND UPDATE" ANCHOR SETH MEYERS - "This week President Obama delivered the State of the Union address. While Joe Biden just delivered."



MEYERS - "Willie Robertson, one of the stars of Duck Dynasty, attended the State of the Union as a guest of Representative Vance McAllister. And no one was more upset about it than Louisiana Senator Quackenbush."



"WEEKEND UPDATE" ANCHOR CECILY STRONG - "A former speech writer for President Bush accused President Obama of plagiarizing parts of this week's State of the Union address from Bush's 2007 address. I have to admit, it was a little odd when Obama suddenly said, 'Man, I'm super bad at being president.'"



STRONG - "This Sunday the Super Bowl will be played in Met Life Stadium in New Jersey. Just as soon as they finally convince Eli Manning to leave the field. "You did your best. Not your fault, bud. Come on, sweetheart. We got pizza rolls."



STRONG - "The crafts store Michaels is investigating a possible data breach involving customers' credit and debit card information. Said people who shop at Michaels, 'Please steal my identity.'"



STRONG - "The Arizona Republican Party this week formally censured Senator John McCain saying that his voting record is too liberal. Said McCain, "Oh, I've been through much worse." No, not that. There it is."



MEYERS - "During a ceremony this week at the Vatican, in which two doves were released by children in the name of world peace, a seagull and crow swooped down and attacked the doves. Said former Pope Benedict, 'Excellent, my pets.'"



MEYERS - "Google this week unveiled new designs for its Google Glass wearable device that look like more traditional glasses. Because, you know, you don't want to look nerdy when you're wearing a computer on your face."



STRONG - "A personal trainer in New York City has developed a new work out regime called "Sexercise" that uses various squats and lunges to help people increase their stamina during sex. Said the trainer 'Anyway, I'm required by law to notify you that I'm living in your neighborhood.'"



STRONG - "A New Zealand man, who was attacked by a shark, stitched up his own wounds on shore then went to a pub for a beer before heading to the hospital. Even more impressive, the shark bought the first round."



MEYERS - "Florida Representative Trey Radel, who was convicted of cocaine possession, announced this week that he will resign from Congress. Radel says he wants to spend more time with whoever's still awake."



MEYERS - "The four members of Motley Crue have decided to dissolve the group after they complete this final tour, while fans of the band have decided to dissolve something in your drink when you're not looking."



MEYERS - "A Montana man, who was wearing a hat with the word "Weed" on it, was arrested after police found 6 pounds of marijuana in his car. Police knew where to look for the drugs because his shirt said, '...is in the trunk.'"




More On: NBC, Jimmy Fallon, President Obama, State of the Union, Joe Biden, Super Bowl.

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