Comscore
Advertisement

Best In-Show Insults?

GlindatheGood22  Profile Photo
GlindatheGood22
Broadway Legend
joined:7/17/07
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 09:33pm
I was very disappointed to see that the "Best Insults" thread isn't about insults from plays or musicals. So - some of your favorites?

I think I'm going with, "If you existed, I'd divorce you."
I leave the room smiling.
qolbinau Profile Photo
qolbinau
Broadway Legend
joined:6/29/08
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 09:42pm
You're about as sexy as a wet cardboard box..
Playbilly Profile Photo
Playbilly
Broadway Legend
joined:3/30/12
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 09:45pm
Just read "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" No need to go further.

BEAN BAG!
"Through The Sacrifice You Made, We Can't Believe The Price You Paid..For Love!"
chewy5000 Profile Photo
chewy5000
Broadway Legend
joined:12/1/09
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 09:56pm
Thee entirety of "Bosom Buddies"
IMHO I see Queenie as being more of a brunette...
EponineAmneris Profile Photo
EponineAmneris
Broadway Legend
joined:5/25/06
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 10:27pm
"Leave! Get out! Go be someone else's parasite!" --- Freddie to Florence in the musical CHESS.
"TO LOVE ANOTHER PERSON IS TO SEE THE FACE OF GOD"- LES MISERABLES--- "THERE'S A SPECIAL KIND OF PEOPLE KNOWN AS SHOW PEOPLE... WE'RE BORN EVERY NIGHT AT HALF HOUR CALL!"--- CURTAINS
Playbilly Profile Photo
Playbilly
Broadway Legend
joined:3/30/12
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/3/12 at 10:47pm
"Best Friends" from The Wild Party
"Through The Sacrifice You Made, We Can't Believe The Price You Paid..For Love!"
LimelightMike Profile Photo
LimelightMike
Broadway Legend
joined:6/21/06
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 12:46am
"You have the touch of a sex-starved cobra!"
LimelightMike's 2010-2011 Theatergoing Schedule: THE PITMEN PAINTERS (10.03.10) A LIFE IN THE THEATRE (10.10.10) BLOODY BLOODY ANDREW JACKSON (10.16.10) THE SCOTTSBORO BOYS (11.06.10) WOMEN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN (11.13.10) BRIEF ENCOUNTER (11.22.10) THE PEE-WEE HERMAN SHOW (11.28.10) LA BETE (12.23.10) A SMALL FIRE (01.13.11) THAT CHAMPIONSHIP SEASON (03.09.11) ARCADIA (03.16.11) BLACK TIE (03.19.11) PRISCILLA: QUEEN OF THE DESERT (03.21.11) THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST (03.26.11) BENGAL TIGER AT THE BAGHDAD ZOO (03.30.11) GHETTO KLOWN (03.31.11) HOW TO SUCCEED... (04.07.11) ANYTHING GOES (04.12.11) JERUSALEM (04.20.11) SISTER ACT (04.29.11) iHO: (05.22.11)
Kad Profile Photo
Kad
Broadway Legend
joined:11/5/05
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 12:48am
"She almost looks human- it must be the lighting."
Idiot Profile Photo
Idiot
Broadway Star
joined:10/9/10
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 01:56am
"I've already had your husband."
muscle23ftl Profile Photo
muscle23ftl
Broadway Legend
joined:12/19/04
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 01:28am
Anne: "She's ravishingly beautiful"

Frederick: "Make up"!

Speaking of Desiree in "Night Music"
"People have their opinions and that doesn't mean that their opinions are wrong or right. I just take it with a grain of salt because opinions are like as*holes, everyone has one". -Felicia Finley-
jnb9872 Profile Photo
jnb9872
Broadway Legend
joined:11/24/08
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 08:19pm
"She's a tight c**t wrapped around ambition." from Speed-the-Plow. I can't think of anything that comes close, but Roma's legendary tirade against Williamson ("Whoever told you you could work with men?... You stupid ****ing c**t... You fairy...") is up there in the Mamet canon, but it's not as clever a moment of wordplay.
Words don't deserve that kind of malarkey. They're innocent, neutral, precise, standing for this, describing that, meaning the other, so if you look after them you can build bridges across incomprehension and chaos. But when they get their corners knocked off, they're no good anymore…I don't think writers are sacred, but words are. They deserve respect. If you get the right ones in the right order, you can nudge the world a little.
Quiche2 Profile Photo
Quiche2
Broadway Star
joined:7/20/12
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 08:31pm
Not from Broadway, but had to mention this one. I saw a commercial where one old lady told another old lady, "May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!" LOLOLOLOLOL I laughed so hard after seeing that. Like I said, in no way is this from anything associated with Broadway. Definitely up there in the best insults ever though.
Theatre is my life. No one can take that away from me.
CATSNYrevival
Broadway Legend
joined:3/1/04
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 08:35pm
^Are you sure that wasn't The Golden Girls?
StageManager2 Profile Photo
StageManager2
Broadway Legend
joined:10/21/05
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 08:36pm
^
I believe that was from The Golden Girls, between Sophia and her sister Angela.


But if you could see her through my eyes... she wouldn't look Jewish at all!
Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae
Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra
Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia
Quiche2 Profile Photo
Quiche2
Broadway Star
joined:7/20/12
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 09:04pm
It may have been in a commercial promoting The Golden Girls, but I definitely didn't see it on there because you couldn't pay me to watch that show.
Theatre is my life. No one can take that away from me.
michellek45 Profile Photo
michellek45
Leading Actor
joined:5/20/11
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 09:05pm
"Shut up, I'm fat!"

"Not everywhere!"
quizking101 Profile Photo
quizking101
Broadway Legend
joined:12/25/09
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 09:32pm
"Why don't you light your tampon on fire and blow your box apart, because it's the only bang you're ever going to get, sweeheart."

Ah, PRISCILLA
little_sally Profile Photo
little_sally
Broadway Legend
joined:1/15/04
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 09:51pm
I loved that line from Priscilla and couldn't remember it word-for-word. Thanks for posting it!
A little swash, a bit of buckle - you'll love it more than bread.
OperaBwayLover Profile Photo
OperaBwayLover
Broadway Star
joined:5/17/07
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 10:53pm
I won't say it's my absolute favorite, but it's the only one I can think of at the moment:

"You want to act like a tool? Then go sleep in the shed." (Addams Family)

Updated On: 11/4/12 at 10:53 PM
RENT_is_Wicked2
Stand-by
joined:4/4/11
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/4/12 at 11:14pm
Glinda: Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and all together quite impossible to describe.

Elphaba: ......... Blonde.

Haha, Wicked.
ClumsyDude15 Profile Photo
ClumsyDude15
Broadway Legend
joined:12/11/06
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/5/12 at 12:32am
The entirety of You Must Meet My Wife from A Little Night Music on Desiree's end.

"Does your cousin dance?" "Like a drunk Chita Rivera." -- In the Heights.

"And I bet your milkshake brings ALL the boys to the yard." -- Peter and the Starcatcher.

winston89 Profile Photo
winston89
Broadway Legend
joined:6/18/06
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/5/12 at 11:51am
If you try to shag my husband while I'm still alive, I'll shove The Art of Motorcycle maintenance up your rancid little c--t, there's a good dear.

Tom Stoppard's Rock N Roll.
"If you try to shag my husband while I am still alive, I will shove the art of motorcycle maintenance up your rancid little Cu**. That's a good dear" Tom Stoppard's Rock N Roll
strummergirl Profile Photo
strummergirl
Broadway Legend
joined:12/8/09
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/5/12 at 12:01pm
"Not on your salary–not on an Associate Professor's salary!"- Martha to George, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Matt3358 Profile Photo
Matt3358
Swing
joined:2/24/11
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/5/12 at 12:20pm
Favorite Insult comes from A Midsummer Night's Dream
Hermia to Helena: You juggler! You canker-blossom!
ChairinMain Profile Photo
ChairinMain
Featured Actor
joined:4/2/07
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/5/12 at 12:26pm
Peter and the Starcatchers has a great blink and you'll miss it insult:

"He smelt like smelt."
Gothampc
Broadway Legend
joined:5/20/03
Best In-Show Insults?
Posted: 11/5/12 at 12:26pm
I'm not sure if this was in the stage play or not, but no list of insults can be complete without it.


Jean & Marie
If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
Updated On: 11/5/12 at 12:26 PM

1
Page:

Advertisement
 
Advertisement Advertisement Advertisement
Advertisement