Review: ALL THE FRAUDULENT HORSE GIRLS, The Glory

“Horses are the glue that binds us together”

From the moment you walk into the basement of The Glory, you are plunged into the world of horse girls. There are blankets and pillows throughout decorated with horses, with horse-themed magazines scattered around the venue as well. Behind the stage there is an impressive collage of horse images including several stills from The Saddle Club and a hand-drawn horse made by someone named Maddy. 

All the Fraudulent Horse Girls, written by Michael Louis Kennedy and directed by Charles Quittner, follows Audrey, an 11-year-old girl who has a head injury and discovers a new ability to use telepathy to talk with all the horse girls in the world. She is struggling to make friends at her new school, having been taken out of her old one after being bullied. Audrey’s one friend, Maddy, is sick in the hospital and Audrey is left to fend for herself, only feeling connected with the horse girls in her mind, including a French girl named Mathilde. Things start to take a wild turn when Audrey attempts to steal a police horse on a school field trip and is sent into a fever dream after being kicked in the head. 

Cazeleōn stars as Audrey I, fully embodying the absolutely chaotic energy of a preteen horse girl. I loved their absolute manic energy and it was hilarious to see her skipping around the venue, giggling and twirling their pigtails with excitement. It is truly incredible to imagine a bunch of preteens calling each other “horse bitch” in the voice Cazeleōn uses. Beth Graham then takes on the role of John Grady Cole (of Cormac McCarthy’s All the Pretty Horses), AKA “Audrey II.” She also exudes similar manic energy to Cazeleōn, only more aggressive and directed at particular audience members. Finally, Alice Morgan-Richards takes on the role of Audrey III, the “writer” of the show who claims that all of the scenes are based on real events in their life. 

The trio of Audreys is joined by the Horse Girl band, of which Alice Morgan-Richards is also a part! Musical Director Rachel Blaquière keeps the show’s music together, playing a range of different genres on the keyboard to set the mood of each scene. Along with playing saxophone and guitar, Georgia-Leila Stoller steals the show several times as a range of different characters including Emma Stone (who is in no way affiliated with actress Emma Stone), an inflatable horse balloon who visits Audrey in her dreams. 

Lili Fuller’s design is full of love for the horse girl experience, with them making The Glory feel like a preteen’s bedroom while being able to transform into a fever dreams within a moment’s notice. The lighting (done by Tias Volker) is incredibly simple yet also extremely effective, with cast members using flashlights from around the venue to light up different parts when needed, including an unused bar and a tech booth. Matt Bovee does a fantastic job as movement director, particularly with a beautifully absurd and dramatic interpretive dance performed by the three Audreys. 

Ultimately, All the Fraudulent Horse Girls is an absurd, awkward yet delightful show that will bring joy to everyone in the audience, regardless of their horse girl status. To quote the show itself, “None of this makes any goddamn sense,” but that is part of what makes it so great. 

All the Fraudulent Horse Girls runs at The Glory on 15 and 16 October.

Photo Credit: Max Kennedy

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