DOG SEES GOD: CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE BLOCKHEAD - Old Academy Players Non Equity Auditions

Old Academy Players is pleased to announce the audition date for its 2026 production of Dog Sees God, Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead by Bert V. Royal. Dog Sees God, Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead at the Old Academy Players theater located at 3544 Indian Queen Lane, Philadelphia, PA from January 9–25, 2026. The show is directed by Norman Burnosky (recent: The Exes).

Old Academy Players welcomes new talent! Please note that we are a non-profit community theater and that all roles are performed on a volunteer basis and are non-paying.

Audition Date & Time: Saturday, September 13th at 10:00AM. Anyone auditioning must arrive at the theater no later than 11:30AM.

Location:
Old Academy Players-Club Room
3544 Indian Queen Lane
Philadelphia PA 19129 (Parking in the rear of the theater)

Audition Requirements:

Please prepare a 1–2?minute comedic monologue. You may be also asked to read from the script.

Performance Dates:

1/7(preview performance), 1/9, 1/10, 1/11, 1/16, 1/17, 1/18, 1/23, 1/24, 1/25.

*Additional performances may be added

Rehearsal Dates:

Rehearsals will generally be held on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, with additional rehearsals scheduled as we approach Opening Night.

Cast members will be required to attend the Club Night Performance of It’s Only a Play, which will be held on Wednesday, November 5th.

If cast, you will also be required to assist with Set Build on 11/23 and 11/24 and set strike on Sunday, January 25th.

Cast members will be required to assist with Hospitality for one performance of It’s Only a Play.

*Additional rehearsals may be added as needed

Synopsis of Show:

When CB’S dog dies from rabies, CB begins to question the existence of an afterlife. His best friend is too burnt out to provide any coherent speculation; his sister has gone goth; his ex-girlfriend has recently been institutionalized; and his other friends are too inebriated to give him any sort of solace. But a chance meeting with an artistic kid, the target of this group’s bullying, offers CB a piece of mind and sets in motion a friendship that will push teen angst to the very limits. Drug use, suicide, eating disorders, teen violence, rebellion and sexual identity collide and careen toward an ending that’s both haunting and hopeful.

Roles:

We are looking for adult actors, over the age of eighteen, in their 20s and 30s to fill the following roles:

• CB (Charlie Brown) is the main character in the play. He is intensely saddened over the death of his dog, and is forced to question both his sexuality and his social status when he unwittingly falls for his classmate Beethoven.
• Beethoven (Schroeder) became the school outcast prior to events in the play. A bit of a recluse, Beethoven takes solace in playing the piano, but when he and CB become romantically involved, his world is turned upside down.
• CB’s Sister (Sally) has gone Goth, at least for a portion of the play. It is mentioned that, like her character basis, she changes her philosophy on life often.
• Van (Linus), always the philosopher in childhood, is now a pothead with a worldview to match.
• Matt (Pig-Pen) is a pathological germophobe whose dirtiness has been internalized – he is sex-obsessed, homophobic, and terrorizes Beethoven mercilessly. He is CB’s best friend.
• Tricia (Peppermint Patty), a party girl, who professes herself to be “pretty” and “popular”.
• Marcy (Marcie), a party girl and Tricia’s sidekick. She has a threesome with Tricia and Matt during the play.

The role of Van’s Sister (Lucy) has been cast.

Contact: Norman Burnosky via email at
norm@oldacademyplayers.org with any questions.