Check Out Quotables from TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON - Week of 2/8

Below, check out quotables from NBC's THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON - February 8 - February 11

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 2.8.16

Of course, last night was SUPER BOWL 50! It's a special night where Americans gather with friends and family to lose money and gain weight.

I want to say congratulations to the Denver Broncos, who beat the Carolina Panthers in SUPER BOWL 50. The Broncos really stopped Cam Newton last night. In fact, the only Dabbing Cam Newton was doing last night was with some kleenex: (DABBING EYES WITH KLEENEX) "Guess there's always next year..."

But it wasn't all bad news for Cam Newton. He was named the NFL's Most Valuable Player at THE NFL HONORS on Saturday night. The ceremony went well, but it got weird when the Denver Broncos' defense took the award out of his hands and ran it for a touchdown. I didn't even think that was possible.

And did you see this? After Peyton Manning was asked about his future, he responded by saying, quote, "I'll drink a lot of Budweiser tonight." Which is why today, he signed endorsement deals with Tylenol, Gatorade and a tattoo removal clinic.

And during the Super Bowl, Mountain Dew released a commercial with a "puppy monkey baby," and a lot of viewers said they were freaked out by it. While fans in Colorado were like, (HIGH) "Makes sense to us, man."

And finally, some good news. I saw that the unemployment rate in the U.S. just fell below five percent, which is the lowest it's been in eight years. When asked for comment on the number of unemployed Americans, Obama said, (OBAMA) "Uh...I can't wait to be one of them!"

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 2.9.16

Not only was today the New Hampshire Primary - it was also National Pizza Day! So one way or the other, Chris Christie will be giving a victory speech.

A town called "Dixville Notch" was the first town to cast their ballots in the New Hampshire primary. Even people in Dixville Notch were like, "Hehe - Dixville Notch."

It seems that as the campaign wears on, the candidates are really starting to go at it. In fact, Jeb Bush recently told supporters that he thinks Donald Trump quote "needs therapy." At first Trump was insulted, but when he heard it would be an hour of talking about himself, he said, (TRUMP) "Sign me up!"

And people are still talking about the big halftime show from SUPER BOWL 50. Well get this, I read that Jay Z sent Beyonce 10,000 roses before her performance at SUPER BOWL 50. Yeah, Jay Z is the only man in America that can send his wife 10,000 roses and not hear her say, "WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?"

And did you see this? Chipotle apologized to customers for closing down for a food safety meeting during lunch hour yesterday, and said that if you text the word "raincheck" to them you will get a coupon for a free burrito. Yeah, and if you eat the burrito, YOU'LL need to text the word "raincheck" to anyone you made plans with that afternoon.

And finally, a woman in England recently broke a world record by running on a treadmill for 12 hours, totaling 68 miles. While the previous record for running that much without getting anywhere was held by Jeb Bush.

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 2.10.16

You guys, we have SUPER BOWL champion Peyton Manning on the show tonight! And this is cool - cuz of all the products he'll be mentioning in his interview, we don't have to run any commercials tonight!

But of course the big news is the New Hampshire primaries, which were held last night. And I want to say Congratulations to Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump on winning their parties' New Hampshire primaries last night! In his speech, Bernie said he couldn't have done it without the support of millions of Americans. While Trump was like, (TRUMP) "This was ALL me!" ("You losers did NOTHING!")

And we still have Jeb Bush, who's fighting to stay in the race. People say Jeb may be finally hitting his stride, in fact one supporter said that Jeb is getting quote, "very loose. And when he's loose, he's on fire." Jeb said he knows people want to see him get loose, because his crowds are always chanting, "Looser! Looser!) (Uh, sir? I don't think they're saying looser.)

But one of the big surprises last night was Ohio governor John Kasich who came in second for the republicans. And some celebrities are even starting to support him, even Arnold Schwarzenegger. However, a spokesman for Schwarzenegger said it's not an actual endorsement. When asked why, Schwarzenegger was like, (ARNOLD) "Because even I am afraid of Hillary!" (Vote for her if you want me to live!)

In related news, Chris Christie just dropped out of the race and endorsed Bernie Sandwich.

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 2.11.16

You guys, this is our last show in New York before we head out to do a week of shows in LA. Which means I have about three days to get a tan and lose 40 pounds.

Let's get to some news here. In his victory speech after the New Hampshire primary, Donald Trump claimed the unemployment rate might actually be as high as 42%. He might be right, because Hillary just fired her entire campaign staff.

Yeah, it's been a rough week for Hillary, after Bernie Sanders won the New Hampshire primary by more than 20 points. Bernie said he's always liked New Hampshire, especially cuz he was around when it was still Old Hampshire.

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton recently said it's a "low blow" for Bernie Sanders to criticize her for not being progressive enough. And if you want to know more about that story, do NOT google "Clinton low blow." Save yourself.

And after finishing second in New Hampshire's Republican primary, John Kasich said he can handle attacks by Donald Trump saying, "I'm not gonna sit there and be a marshmallow and have somebody pound me." Then Chris Christie was like, (ASIDE) "Anyone else as turned on as I am?"

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