Monologue Highlights from LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS, 6/19
Yesterday, Dick Cheney said about President Obama, "rarely has a U.S. president been so wrong about so much at the expense of so many." When asked about George W. Bush, Cheney said, "Oh don't be silly. He wasn't the President."
During her book tour, Hillary Clinton was asked if she would try marijuana if it were legal and answered, "I didn't do it when I was young, I'm not going to start now." Then Bill Clinton said, "I wish I had a nickel for every time I've heard that."
Today the President of Ukraine issued a ceasefire after having a phone call with Vladimir Putin. Even more embarrassing for the president of Ukraine, when he hung up, he accidentally said, "okay, love you, bye."
Over the weekend, Afghanistan held its Presidential election runoff. The way it works is: everyone runs off and whoever's slowest has to be president of Afghanistan.
New research shows grocery trips for three items or less are more popular now than they have ever been. I mean, most people are just buying condoms, but they throw in some toothpaste and an avocado to make it look good.