BWW Recap: Hate and Date on This Week's MARRY ME!

By: Feb. 03, 2015
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Last week, we got a taste of Jake's past with the arrival of "The Boyz" - outrageously/drunkely played by Jerry O'Connell, Steve Little and Brandon Johnson. After Annie pulls Jake away from plans with his friends to take care of wedding stuff, tensions rise pulling Jake in two directions. In the end, in a "who knows Jake more" drinking game, all beef was squashed and Jake no longer had to choose between his fiance and old friends.

This week, we witness the return of Jessica St. Clair (BRIDESMAIDS, PLAYING HOUSE) as Jake and Annie's "snobby mom" neighbor. While the happy couple is dealing with her, the sidekicks (Gil, Dennah and Kay) all compete to find a date to bring to the wedding. What could possibly go wrong? A lot, actually. According to Casey Wilson's twitter, which is an overwhelming wealth of knowledge, a hate crime is committed in the building, perpetuated by Jake and Annie, hilariously I assume.


So Annie gets drunk when she's sees movies? She's so relatable! Annie and Jake run into their very hipster neighbor riding his bike pennyfarthing. Yeah one of those old timey bikes. They see he left a sign posted for an art show, but them being a wacky, creative couple change it to "Fart Show." Haha what could happen due to this harmless prank? Oh just wait.

When Annie and Jake wake up in the morning, they discover that they forgot that they invited Annie's dads over for brunch. They bring the great/bad news that everyone is coming to their wedding! Annie is appauled that people are writing in names for their wedding because "it's not a ballot" to which Jake asks if she's ever voted (a question that was brought up slightly changed in an old episode I might add). Yes, she has...for herself when she ran for class president. Annie's dads say that if Gil, Dennah and Kay all agree that only one of them can bring a plus one, then all will be fine. Easy enough, right? Nope.

Julie (St. Clair) rings their seemingly very loud doorbell (they're in a drunken stupor, so forgive them) and demands they attend the building meeting because there has been a hate crime. Annie goes through a list of people in the building giving them terrible nicknames but can't guess who the hate crime it was against. It turns out the hate crime was committed against George (their hipster neighbor). Oh no! Turns out that George is a long-time sufferer from IBS...Yes, irritable bowl syndrome. Jake gets nervous and keeps babling and apologizes for his "diarrhea of the mouth." HA!

The Kevins meet with the side gang to fill them on the news for the wedding. Dennah immediately assumes that she'll be the one who has a date. Kay is totally fine going without someone, but Gil fights back. White Kevin tells them the way they are going to decide who gets the plus one is they have to have a date by the next day. Whose going to win?! I'm on the edge of my seat.

Annie and Jake go to the building meeting acting all innocent, which of course, they are not. They get nervous when things start getting heated and they sneak out. Jake walks into the apartment all out of breath and Annie thinks it's because Jake's scared of the Garbage Gollum. "I've seen things in the shute!" he reassures her. The real reason is because he's worried about seeing any of his neighbors, but Annie says it's going to happen that night at Julie's "Care-frontation." Sounds legit.

While Dennah is at yoga, she asks her very creepy/sexual yoga instructor for a relationship instead of private lessons that he offered earlier. He strattles her in a very sexual position (downward dog, of course) and agrees. Meanwhile, Gil stands outside of a building for Cassey (his ex-wife), who assures him he's not going to get custody of their parokeet, which she renamed Larry Bird, even though he wanted Feather Locklear. I love me some clever puns! But no, he's there to ask her if she'll go to the wedding with him. After some ploying, Gil convinces her. First, she has to go to Annie's dads' house to get approved of as wedding worthy.

Back at the Care-frontation, we here the end of Julie's speech, which she claims she wrote herself but sounds an awful lot like Martin Luther King's speech. Hmm coincidence I guess. As another IBS sufferer takes the podium, Julie approaches Annie and Jake that she knows they were the ones who commited the hate crime because Jake fell right into her trap! Aw Jake...damn you and your affinity for cheese blams!

Jake tries to convince Annie that they need to confess because they board will go easier on them. As Jake continues to freak out, Annie gets caught up in the excitement and tries to though a drink at him to calm him down but ends up hitting him in the face with the glass...which actually had no water in it in the first place. Instead of confessing, Annie comes up with a plan. To make it seem like they were the victims of a hate crime, she writes "lushes" on their door and then shouts "as alcoholics, we're offended!" I don't know why but I laughed for a good 2 minutes at this.

Back with Kevin and Kevin, it seems they've made a amateur reality show to find out who gets the plus one. Dennah and Gil go back and forth trying to win, making fools of themself as always. Black Kevin picks Dennah because she'll die alone, but White Kevin picks Gil because he thinks he'll die soon. It all comes down to Kay to serve as the tie-breaker, but she walks out without deciding. White Kevin makes a hilarious comment about how Andy Cohen is going to love their video, but Black Kevin forgot to press record. The jokes and comments about Bravo shows are absolutely hilarious!

Annie and Jake are back at their apartment while it's getting swabbed for evidence as neighbors come to express their sympathies. One of them even brought a kugel, which Annie comments is a "Jewish lasagna." Yep, pretty much. Julie apologizes that Annie and Jake are "hated so much" because she can't even fathom having that happen to her because she's a "white Oprah." As everyone leaves their apartment thinking that Annie and Jake are actually victims, Jake wants to have a drink to celebrate. Instead, in a surprise twist, which Jake calls out, Annie now wants to confess. Bum bum buuuummmm!

Gil and Dennah both show up at Kay's apartment to bribe her to pick them for the plus one. Dennah brings chocolate, while Gil brings a pinata becaus he "doesn't know what she's into." It turns out that Kay actually has a girlfriend and they're really cute together. Kay tries to convince the other two that she's just having fun because she's a "concert vaginist in the pleasure symphony." If that's not the greatest disgusting pickup line I've ever heard, I don't know what is.

During a meeting with the building board, Annie and Jake burst in to confess and Jake recites an apology he copied from the internet, so obviously it makes no sense in the situation. Julie claims that while Jake and Annie are terrible tenants, there are worse people in the building, so they're off the hook. After being set free, Annie and Jake have a better appreciation for their building and start getting involved. In the end, Gil and Dennah bow out of the competition to let Kay have the plus one, to the girlfriend she introduces to everyone, who is immediately bombarded by 500 questions from everyone. Hmm seems like my house!

Photo Credit: NBC

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